May 13, 2025
A Mother-Son Conversation You’ll Never Forget
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Send us a text In this heartfelt and deeply personal Mother’s Day special, Leggra sits down with her son DuBois (aka Dubwaah) for a raw, unfiltered conversation about their journey — from the early days of mother and child to the evolving dynamic of mother and grown man. Together, they reflect on: The joys and challenges of growing up together How DuBois perceived his mother as a child vs. now as a man The shifting roles, respect, and realities that come with adulthood Healing, understan...
In this heartfelt and deeply personal Mother’s Day special, Leggra sits down with her son DuBois (aka Dubwaah) for a raw, unfiltered conversation about their journey — from the early days of mother and child to the evolving dynamic of mother and grown man.
Together, they reflect on:
The joys and challenges of growing up together
How DuBois perceived his mother as a child vs. now as a man
The shifting roles, respect, and realities that come with adulthood
Healing, understanding, and learning to see each other through grown-up eyes
What it truly means to love, protect, and evolve as family
This episode is full of laughter, honesty, and emotional depth — a celebration of growth, legacy, and the unbreakable bond between a mother and her son.
✨ Whether you're a mom, a son, or someone navigating family dynamics — this conversation will touch your heart.
🛎️ Subscribe for more real talk, unfiltered stories, and powerful connections every week on Timeless & Unfiltered.
👇 Drop your thoughts in the comments and share how your relationship with your parent or child has evolved over the years. We want to hear your story!
#TimelessAndUnfiltered #MothersDay #MotherSon #Dubwaah #Leggra #Podcast #FamilyTalk #HealingConversations #BlackMothers #Growth #ParentingAdultChildren
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Transcript
WEBVTT
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You check me a lot, I mean.
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A lot.
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Someone asked you A lot Once again.
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If there was a husband he'd be doing it A lot of times, you're right, but damn, let me have one.
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I do think a lot of it a lot of times.
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In the black community is not seeing children as people worthy of respect.
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Do as I say, not as I do, because I said so, and part of being an adult, like we said, is dropping the curtain.
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I see the b**** sometimes.
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I remember being pregnant with you the day I had you.
00:00:30.650 --> 00:00:33.874
It was the day I knew I was not going to have any kids.
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I didn't think I could love another kid like I loved you yeah.
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This is Legra, this is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is legra.
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This is Stephanie, this is Sheree and this is Evania.
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And this is timeless and unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time.
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Welcome to another episode of timelesseless and Unfiltered.
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I'm Legra and I don't have my co-host with me, but happy Mother's Day.
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This is a Mother's Day edition, and so I'm actually very honored to be spilling the tea today with my son, mr Du Bois.
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Honored, I'm honored, wow, wow.
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What do you mean?
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What do you mean?
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Okay, first let me start off by saying he acts just like me, so we're going to see where this conversation goes.
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But yes, I am very honored for you to be sitting on the timeless and unfiltered couch for our Mother's Day edition yeah, it's interesting being on the other side.
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You know, I usually have my chair over there yes everything.
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So I was like okay, let's see how this goes yes, well, I was hoping we had a just a conversation just about our journey as as-son.
00:02:04.350 --> 00:02:07.683
You always hear about mother-son dynamics, good or bad.
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Yeah.
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Good or bad and how we have evolved as mother-child.
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Yeah, valid.
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You know, and now mother and I got a grown man.
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Yeah.
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You know and how our relationship has grown, how it's changed, how you know, you've been my rock for the last couple years, as I've been on a cancer journey and yeah all those different things and we just gonna see where this conversation goes.
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We don't know y'all right now.
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We don't know where our conversation that is cool.
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People have always like my friends and everything I've always been like.
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Oh, such a great relationship.
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And I go, wow, you have such a cool mom.
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If only they knew Right, let me get some patty out here, honey.
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If only they knew no, but I mean that's been.
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I would say that's been a constant, even growing up.
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I mean you know like you would come to school hey, you're Du Bois' mom or Miss Du Bois' mom, right, you know.
00:03:02.987 --> 00:03:09.175
So it's like I feel like people have always seen our relationship, even just the dynamic we have.
00:03:09.175 --> 00:03:09.921
I mean, we argue.
00:03:09.921 --> 00:03:12.308
You know, jordan and Alex were here this past weekend.
00:03:12.308 --> 00:03:19.532
Alex sees it all the time, jordan is new to it, but he's like oh, I get y'all differences, but I also get y'all similarities.
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Yes, we really do have a lot in common, and I think, growing up, or as I get older, as you get older, it's about trying to figure out what these new personalities and these new wants and wishes look like.
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I've always known you as mom.
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You've been mom for God knows how long.
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For all of your life.
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But I think over the last few years you've had to be a lot less mom-centered.
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Yeah.
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Being mom isn't like your personality anymore.
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It's like, okay, it's a part of you.
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So learning you and figuring out who the hell is Legro I like mom.
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I don't know too much about Legro, you know a lot about Legro.
00:04:04.582 --> 00:04:05.731
You probably know know too much about Allegra.
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You know a lot about Allegra.
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You probably know way too much about Allegra.
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Yeah, I don't know if me and Allegra would have been cool like that.
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Me and mom are great.
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You don't know if you like Allegra.
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I don't know if me and Allegra rock and roll like that, but me and mom are cool.
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Why is mom different than Allegra?
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No, I think I like Legra more than I like mom.
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To be honest, I think I like Legra more than I like mom, and I think it's something that every parent does.
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You feel like you have to be Mom, Big dog in the house.
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You know what I mean, and over the last few years I mean obviously after going through chemo and everything I think a lot of your walls have just come down and you were never like super strict, major pain.
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I was gonna say was.
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I no, you've always been fun and you've always had a really like.
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There's always been a light-hearted aspect to our relationship yeah but I think that that's been a lot more on the forefront.
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We're in sync lately where the moon is in the sky.
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I think that you've suppressed a lot of your personality.
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But I think you know what these are, conversations that Sharice and I have all the time.
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I think a lot of times and I don't know why we, as parents, feel like we have to.
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You remember the saying you know, do as I say not as I do right saying you know, do as I say, not as I do, right, so we, we always it's something about being responsible for another human being like, yeah, as a parent, we're responsible for you, so you always want to set a good example, so you don't.
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We don't let you see the sides that are off.
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You know what I'm saying.
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We don't let you see, well, some parents don't.
00:06:05.894 --> 00:06:14.968
We don't want you to know that we're broke yeah, you know what I'm saying and or that we're struggling, what we don't want you to stress and we don't want you to worry.
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So we hide a lot of things and we suppress a lot of things to protect what we think are protecting you, but and sometimes I think it's not protecting you.
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Like, I think sometimes you need to see some of these things that we hide from you and, I think, in our relationship because, um, you know, with your dad and I splitting with you, being at a very young age, I was a young parent, even though I wasn't a teen parent, yeah, but I rarely even babysat when I was a kid, so I didn't know how to take care of a child yeah you know.
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So you were kind of an experiment.
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You were a guinea pig on a lot of things, honey, because I didn't know, I didn't know how.
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So you were my first child and only child, which is funny, because taking me down another story, honey, because I told y'all we don't know where we're going to end up with this story, with this episode.
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I always wanted a lot of kids.
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Yeah.
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I knew I was going to have five kids.
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I knew I wanted like five kids, I wanted a starting lineup.
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They was going be athlete, yeah, they were gonna be all of that.
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But the funny thing was I remember at which I don't remember a whole lot of things, but I remember being pregnant with you.
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I Remember the day I had you very vividly, like it was yesterday that I remember that, which is so funny, and I think it was because it was the day I knew I was not gonna have no more kids.
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I didn't think I could love and that's to this day and I mean, if I heard me say it I didn't think I could love another kid like I loved you yeah when I saw you and people always say oh no, you love them differently.
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I was like nope, nope, I'm telling you, I don't know what this thing did to me when he came out and ripped me and I had to get stitches and she had to stitch me back together remember how we said we know too much about each other oh yeah, oh honey, all of those things, but I don't.
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I just knew I was like I love this little thing right here, which is funny because I never.
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I was not that that girl that dreamed about being married.
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You know, some people dream of their weddings and marriage or they they dream about their, their families and kids.
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I never even thought about having kids.
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So it was something about when you were born and I just said, oh yeah, it wouldn't be fair, I would not be fair to the other children and I don't know if it was because you were the first and experiencing that kind of love for someone.
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It was hard.
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I dropped you a couple times, you know.
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It shows, it shows.
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I dropped you a couple of times.
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You know, um, I still remember the first time I dropped you, I had an epidural when you were born and no one told me that it stays in your system for so long, even though I was up and about and everything.
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And I think, um I, after you, were released from the hospital because you were jaundiced.
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I don't know if you remember that.
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Well, I remember that.
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I've told you that, yeah, I was up there.
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Right, you were there, but I told you that.
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So you stayed in the hospital like an extra three, four, five days.
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I can't remember how many days and luckily you were born in the middle of Kansas and it was you and one other baby in the whole freaking hospital, so I had a lot of attention from all the nurses there was nobody else in the maternity ward because you were in the middle of Kansas but just being able to nurture you and stuff, and I think also seeing you so vulnerable because you were in like an incubator and all that kind of stuff.
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And then when it was time to come home with you, I remember the nurses and I was like wait, y'all not coming with me, like what am I supposed to do with him when I get home, you know?
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And so I always was so careful with you and carrying you.
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And I remember walking down the stairs one day and literally I had no legs Like gone, like my whole body went numb and and I didn't find out till later it's like, yeah, the epidural, you know it stays in your system for quite some time and like literally at that very moment my legs were numb.
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I was walking down the stairs and I remember I dropped you for the first time, look, and I thought I broke you and I thought I broke you and I cried.
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I don't think I cried so hard.
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Well, first of all, the scream that you had when you hit the floor, yeah, was excruciatingly painful for me.
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So I was like, oh my god, and I remember calling the doctor and we were gonna get you there.
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The doctor's like, oh, he's fine.
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I was like I don't need to bring him in.
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He's like, oh, no, he's fine, his bones are soft, he ain't broke nothing or whatever.
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It more scared you.
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It probably scared him more than it hurt him and stuff.
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And I don't know.
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I think at that moment it did.
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Your dad got to a point.
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He wouldn't let me carry you anymore and you're going downstairs.
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Call me when you're coming down the stairs, I'll come get him.
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Like I can carry my baby.
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We didn't have brails in the 90s.
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No, we did.
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But you know, first of all, you haven't had children yet and you definitely aren't a mom.
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We have everything.
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I had the baby in this hand.
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I was probably carrying something else in this hand.
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I probably had something on my back.
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You know, we're always multitasking.
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Yeah, we're always multitasking.
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We can't.
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We're mothers, we can't focus right.
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We got to take care of everything.
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So I remember dropping you and that was just probably the most excruciating thing.
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Yeah, you probably didn't need another kid, because you would have dropped him too.
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It's a good possibility.
00:11:52.162 --> 00:11:53.225
Yeah, you would have dropped him too.
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It's a good possibility.
00:11:54.519 --> 00:12:08.975
And you know I think growing up I felt like I always wanted siblings, but it kind of took me some time to mentally kind of wrap my head around, even like will's in that relationship yeah, you know, like which is your my nephew yeah, will will and I to this day be like that's my brother.
00:12:08.975 --> 00:12:13.216
We don't really we rarely really call each other cousins at this point, because there's not a point.
00:12:13.216 --> 00:12:14.403
I mean, you think, about.
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You guys grew up a lot together too, because you know what I'm saying.
00:12:16.977 --> 00:12:21.950
Like yeah, we think of everything that quote-unquote brothers are supposed to quote, supposed to do or go through.
00:12:21.950 --> 00:12:26.259
I mean, we lived in the same house for A lot of your childhood.
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Probably, at least like 11 of my like pre-18 years.
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You know what I mean.
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Like we grew up together in the same space and vicinity and our relationship was a lot more like that.
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Even Gabriel Gabriel was always around.
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Other nephew.
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Yeah, yeah, gabriel was always around.
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So I felt like the need for siblings kind of decreased as I got older and then I didn't want to be a big brother.
00:12:49.053 --> 00:12:51.966
Why do you want to be a big brother?
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That's a lot of responsibility.
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You didn't want the responsibility.
00:12:56.684 --> 00:12:57.769
That's a lot of responsibility.
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I have to give you words of wisdom.
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I'm the dumbest person I know.
00:13:00.384 --> 00:13:05.105
No, I'm not doing that, I'm sorry.
00:13:05.105 --> 00:13:15.974
I'm sorry, but you know, my dad always had a really big family and I think seeing the relationship he had with his siblings growing up made me always feel like I needed or wanted siblings.
00:13:15.974 --> 00:13:18.128
I mean, I have siblings, I have cousins.
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I think that was also one of the reasons why, just as a child, I remember you always stayed the summers with your dad.
00:13:27.711 --> 00:13:40.866
You always spent 90% of every holiday was with your dad and I remember I think it was Christmas or something you had just come back from Thanksgiving.
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You're back in school for a couple of weeks and then you're back on Christmas break and I remember you were going to leave for Christmas and I remember my mom God rest her soul was like he just had him for Thanksgiving.
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He's never home for christmas.
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I always wanted you to have that big family that I could not give to you, so I never wanted you to feel like you missed out on anything and you were with me all the time.
00:14:07.327 --> 00:14:16.642
So, yeah, go for the holidays when all the family is together, because your dad was from a very big family, but one of 11 I think it was one of 11 siblings.
00:14:17.062 --> 00:14:21.900
I mean, even when we were married, I remember the first time going to the house and all the.
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It was a family gathering.
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All the kids and the cousins and all that stuff were there and stuff and I, being from a smaller family, I wanted you to have that like I wanted.
00:14:31.530 --> 00:14:36.691
I wanted you to go to family reunions and and all of those, those things.
00:14:36.691 --> 00:14:42.967
So I'm Hopefully you never felt like I was Getting rid of you or something.
00:14:43.067 --> 00:14:48.629
You know what I'm saying, or like pushing you away for the holidays, but it was an experience I couldn't give you.
00:14:49.681 --> 00:14:50.683
And I used to love women.
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To this day, I still love going to Kansas City.
00:14:52.450 --> 00:14:54.904
I was just like there were two years ago last year so many.
00:14:55.385 --> 00:14:58.912
But I think even seeing that or living in that, you can see it in my friend groups.
00:14:58.912 --> 00:15:05.052
I have big friend groups, yeah, and they might be from here, there, whatever you know, my friends all mesh well together.
00:15:05.052 --> 00:15:12.962
So when it is time to actually see and I'm not being a recluse, I know I'm going to have and people come over, it's like oh, there's a lot of people here.
00:15:13.683 --> 00:15:19.368
So I do like that because I grew up in that environment I'm always feeling like ain't more people showing up?
00:15:19.368 --> 00:15:23.150
There's more people showing up, right, where are more people at?
00:15:23.150 --> 00:15:28.634
That kind of runs through my head a lot and I don't ever really felt like I was being gotten rid of.
00:15:28.634 --> 00:15:34.902
I think I was damn near throwing my book bag in the car like are you leaving, you're not picking me up early.
00:15:34.922 --> 00:15:35.804
We're not going like right now.
00:15:35.804 --> 00:15:36.206
Right now.
00:15:36.206 --> 00:15:38.051
Well, your dad and I never kept a schedule.
00:15:38.051 --> 00:15:46.471
It was whenever Du Bois wanted to come, we made it happen, and I remember recently having a conversation with you, or just something you shared with me.
00:15:46.471 --> 00:15:48.307
It wasn't exactly a conversation.
00:15:56.860 --> 00:16:00.674
Where you were saying your dad almost lost his job or something because he was so trying to make sure he was involved in your life, having to take off work or whatever.
00:16:00.674 --> 00:16:05.648
Because literally whenever he was like I want to see my daddy, I was like okay, you know, like make a phone call.
00:16:05.988 --> 00:16:07.991
Right, you did, you did it.
00:16:07.991 --> 00:16:12.811
You used to say I want to see my daddy and you did.
00:16:12.932 --> 00:16:13.894
That's how you did it.
00:16:13.914 --> 00:16:21.991
I don't know if I said it like that you have some like auditory disassociation okay, whatever that's.
00:16:22.072 --> 00:16:28.198
That's how he said it y'all, that's that's exactly how he said yeah, but even like, like, same way, I feel like with you.
00:16:28.278 --> 00:16:31.272
I've been growing to know you as a person and not as a parent.
00:16:31.272 --> 00:16:33.240
You know, dad and I talk a lot about everything.
00:16:33.380 --> 00:16:43.764
Now, yeah, um, and I'm so glad for you for that, because you I always felt like you felt, I felt like you felt like you couldn't share with him some of the things that you would share with me.
00:16:43.764 --> 00:16:48.806
Oh, yeah or talk to him about some things that I would wish, like I don't.
00:16:48.806 --> 00:16:53.907
I don't want to hear this right now, but I'm going to act like it's not phased in me because I don't want him to think he can't come talk to me.
00:16:54.126 --> 00:16:56.152
This is really a dad issue.
00:16:56.152 --> 00:17:05.960
Well, I tell people even now, when people ask me about just like my background or like what growing up was like for me, I always say that it's really hard for me to give one straight answer yeah.
00:17:06.259 --> 00:17:06.823
Because, I can't.
00:17:06.823 --> 00:17:18.307
I feel like I fortunately had parents who were always trying to expose me to a bunch of stuff, and so living with you was different than living with dad.
00:17:18.307 --> 00:17:21.420
I think you guys had different lifestyles and personalities.
00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:25.229
Obviously if it was like one household there would have been some differences.
00:17:25.229 --> 00:17:40.588
But yeah, you were, although although you were still mom, I knew mom was a little bit more of a hot girl, not a bad way, like I was like wait, but like you would throw parties and stuff or like you know I always love entertaining, you know you would.
00:17:40.628 --> 00:17:43.521
There were always people at the house or you were always trying something new.
00:17:43.521 --> 00:17:43.923
Versus.
00:17:43.923 --> 00:17:50.760
Dad was like the poster child of stability yes you know, pastor, same job my entire life.
00:17:51.082 --> 00:17:51.604
We moved.
00:17:51.604 --> 00:18:04.823
He moved houses pretty frequently, but like that, dad had a level of consistency sometimes that I felt like I couldn't disrupt or that I felt like me being myself would be like, whoa, this wasn't in the picture, this isn't in the plan.
00:18:04.823 --> 00:18:23.353
Like you know, um, sports was a big hurdle and even as as an adult, when dad and I have these conversations, dad has kind of had to tell me, like when you said you didn't want to do sports, I stopped talking about it and as a child, that was such a big thing because I always felt like it was such a yeah, you didn't go back.
00:18:23.353 --> 00:18:23.935
Well, you didn't go back.
00:18:23.976 --> 00:18:27.731
Well, you didn't play basketball, which is funny because I don't think we, I didn't, I don't think we did.
00:18:27.731 --> 00:18:34.147
But I've also learned that a child's perception is also different than the adult perception.
00:18:34.147 --> 00:18:38.115
Like, even for you, you're an artist.
00:18:38.115 --> 00:18:43.969
Come on, let's say the word You're an artist, you're an artist and you're singing.
00:18:43.969 --> 00:18:50.574
And I remember you in the backseat of the car, literally in a car seat, singing Earth, wind and Fire.
00:18:50.574 --> 00:19:00.681
Kid, you not, because you know your parents were old school, like old school music, but Earth, wind and Fire wasn wasn't playing, it wasn't a music on you were just singing in a car seat, singing earth, wind and fire.
00:19:01.542 --> 00:19:13.184
And you should have put me in singing lessons then you were a baby, barely talking, but you were singing earth, wind and fire I should have let you know then okay, I might have missed it.
00:19:13.184 --> 00:19:19.555
Apparently I missed, missed it, but I remember you talking, well, us talking.
00:19:19.555 --> 00:19:27.703
And I remember when you came home from school and you said you were going to be in the band at high school and I was like do you know how to play an?
00:19:27.765 --> 00:19:28.145
instrument.
00:19:28.145 --> 00:19:46.865
He's like nope, but they said they'll teach me and I was like, oh, okay, and then for you to go to F and be in the band the marching 100 being the band and not just do it but to be very good at it and I was like oh, he is definitely musically inclined.
00:19:46.865 --> 00:19:58.124
I still never saw singing, until you called one day and said hey mom, I got a class and um yeah they're gonna air it online or something and we have to do.
00:19:58.163 --> 00:20:16.207
I don't know if it was a test or something, yeah we have three recitals yeah or something, and I remember logging on so I can see you know Du Bois is gonna sing, you guys, he's gonna sing, and you were singing opera yeah and I was like, okay, wait, whoa like you never told me what you were gonna sing and you were singing opera.
00:20:17.101 --> 00:20:27.606
And then all of a sudden, you know, here we are, graduated from school, trying to figure out your life journey and your career journey, and you said you wanted to sing.
00:20:27.606 --> 00:20:32.548
And I remember going well, why have you never sang before?
00:20:32.548 --> 00:20:46.404
And you said to me you never sang in front of me because one time you were in the car singing and I told you to be quiet yeah and I told you to be quiet scarred me and it scarred you.
00:20:46.506 --> 00:21:04.009
And so when I tell you and it's so funny because I had this conversation with sharice after you told me that the things that we say or do to our kids, like we didn't real, like I didn't realize that, scarred you, and then even I don't even remember the moment, so I can't defend myself or I can't, I can't say I did it.
00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:15.392
I can't say I didn't, because I don't even remember the moment, but your perception of me telling you to be quiet, to completely shut that gift off.
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