June 3, 2025

Are Men Secretly Watching Our Podcast?

Are Men Secretly Watching Our Podcast?
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Are Men Secretly Watching Our Podcast?

Send us a text This week on Timeless & Unfiltered, we’re talking about the men who swear we’re talking about them—even though we never said a name! They don’t comment, they don’t like, but the moment an episode hits a nerve… here come the calls, texts, and “you talking about me?” energy. Sir, if it struck a chord, maybe that’s your conscience talking. We’re breaking down why some men feel so exposed by our truth—and why silence on the timeline turns into noise in our inbox. If you’re fee...

Send us a text

This week on Timeless & Unfiltered, we’re talking about the men who swear we’re talking about them—even though we never said a name! They don’t comment, they don’t like, but the moment an episode hits a nerve… here come the calls, texts, and “you talking about me?” energy. Sir, if it struck a chord, maybe that’s your conscience talking.

We’re breaking down why some men feel so exposed by our truth—and why silence on the timeline turns into noise in our inbox. If you’re feeling triggered… well, that’s between you and your ego.

🔔 COMMENT (don’t just lurk), LIKE, and SUBSCRIBE.
📱 And fellas… if the shoe fits, go ahead and jog in it.

#TimelessAndUnfiltered #WeDidntSayYourName #HitDogsHoller #GuiltyConscience #GrownManFeelings

Support the show

💬 Join the conversation! Follow us on social media to see our weekly questions, then leave us a voicemail at timelessandunfiltered.com . Your message might be featured in an upcoming episode! Watch us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TimelessandUnfilteredPodcast.

📸 Instagram: @timelessandunfiltered

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🌐 Website: timelessandunfiltered.com


Chapters

00:00 - Male Viewers & Private Messages

05:30 - Dating Approaches & Rejection

10:40 - Current Dating Preferences

16:28 - Credit, Power & Modern Attractions

21:40 - Setting Boundaries After Breakups

26:42 - Progressive Ex Relationships & Wrap-up

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:01.042 --> 00:00:10.215
A lot of men are watching our podcast but they won't comment but they'll send text messages and responses.

00:00:10.215 --> 00:00:13.208
I'm going to try to approach this lightly.

00:00:13.208 --> 00:00:32.192
Look, and it's amazing to me, how many people are projecting their insecurities or their and let's just say it, most of them are or their and let's just say it most of them are.

00:00:33.375 --> 00:00:33.735
This is Legra.

00:00:33.756 --> 00:00:41.450
This is Stephanie, this is Cherie and this is Ivanya.

00:00:41.450 --> 00:00:51.707
And this is Timeless and Unfiltered where we are spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

00:00:51.726 --> 00:00:54.851
Welcome back to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered.

00:00:54.851 --> 00:00:55.753
I'm Stephanie.

00:00:55.753 --> 00:01:02.326
That was so mechanical Because this ain't my thing, it's her thing.

00:01:02.326 --> 00:01:03.207
I like that.

00:01:03.207 --> 00:01:07.412
I'm Cherise, and we are spilling the tea on midlife.

00:01:07.412 --> 00:01:10.075
One laugh at a time.

00:01:10.094 --> 00:01:14.063
Take it away, Laker, I know You're so crazy.

00:01:14.063 --> 00:01:16.168
Well, y'all might notice we're missing one.

00:01:16.168 --> 00:01:17.250
She's here in spirit.

00:01:17.250 --> 00:01:18.212
She's here in spirit.

00:01:18.212 --> 00:01:18.793
She's here in spirit.

00:01:21.522 --> 00:01:23.668
Well, you know this is what Grad graduation season, travel season.

00:01:23.909 --> 00:01:28.147
Yeah, so we're missing Avanya today, but she'll be back.

00:01:28.147 --> 00:01:35.828
She'll be back, but over the next couple of weeks all our schedules are crazy, so it's going to be a few episodes that one of us might be missing.

00:01:35.828 --> 00:01:37.084
Yeah, throughout the summer.

00:01:37.084 --> 00:01:40.483
Yeah, one of us might be missing, because that's what we're outside.

00:01:40.885 --> 00:01:43.072
In these streets.

00:01:43.072 --> 00:01:51.659
We're outside, okay, but, um, this I'm trying to see how we're going to approach this topic today.

00:01:51.659 --> 00:02:03.831
Well, let's start with it's been amazing couple of weeks since we've launched our podcast and it's amazing the demographics that are watching our podcast.

00:02:03.831 --> 00:02:08.429
But a lot of men are watching our podcast.

00:02:08.429 --> 00:02:08.849
They are.

00:02:08.889 --> 00:02:09.992
But they won't comment.

00:02:09.992 --> 00:02:12.526
No, we're a guilty pleasure.

00:02:12.560 --> 00:02:14.384
But they'll send text messages.

00:02:14.384 --> 00:02:16.109
Yes, and responses.

00:02:16.490 --> 00:02:17.252
Right yeah.

00:02:17.520 --> 00:02:19.164
They'll send text messages and things.

00:02:19.164 --> 00:02:23.163
Comment I'm going to try to approach this lightly.

00:02:23.163 --> 00:02:24.747
Look, so you know.

00:02:25.449 --> 00:02:26.350
You don't approach it lightly.

00:02:27.633 --> 00:02:30.441
Go on, I'm going to try to, you know.

00:02:30.441 --> 00:02:39.807
So your phone ain't blowing up this week, stephanie, don't nobody like me, so your phone not blowing up this week.

00:02:39.807 --> 00:02:45.050
No, we're going to talk about, let's talk about, I don't know.

00:02:45.050 --> 00:02:47.354
Do you want to be married, not being married?

00:02:47.354 --> 00:02:51.747
Are you here for a relationship?

00:02:51.747 --> 00:02:53.205
You're here for a good time.

00:02:53.205 --> 00:02:55.919
You know just kind of where we are.

00:02:55.919 --> 00:03:05.996
And this all kind of came up too because we know that Stephanie is, was I don't know which term to use in a relationship.

00:03:05.996 --> 00:03:09.006
I'm not anymore.

00:03:09.006 --> 00:03:11.885
I was going to let you say it.

00:03:11.885 --> 00:03:16.021
You don't like me anymore, you know.

00:03:16.021 --> 00:03:19.609
But you know what I always say things, I mean things, happen for a season.

00:03:20.820 --> 00:03:26.037
I'm sick of these seasons, I know girl, I know what's it Winter, spring, summer, fall I'll give of these seasons.

00:03:26.037 --> 00:03:33.070
I know, girl, I know what's it Winter, spring, summer, fall I'll give you my all For a season Because it was Laverne Right For a season.

00:03:33.070 --> 00:03:41.473
I love them For a season, but it's amazing to me how many men are watching our podcast that are commenting privately.

00:03:41.473 --> 00:03:45.347
Yeah, but they won't comment on the episode.

00:03:45.347 --> 00:03:47.091
They won't, but.

00:03:47.170 --> 00:04:00.024
but they want you to acknowledge, but they want you to acknowledge something that you've said on the on the show and I'm going to say you probably are getting more of a hit than that than we are, than we are.

00:04:00.024 --> 00:04:00.425
You want to?

00:04:00.425 --> 00:04:03.830
You want to explain a little bit, or no?

00:04:03.830 --> 00:04:05.775
I love everybody.

00:04:05.775 --> 00:04:09.586
Well, this is my feeling.

00:04:09.586 --> 00:04:13.830
This is my feeling, and we talked about this briefly before we started filming.

00:04:14.662 --> 00:04:36.060
Our podcast is about our experiences and it's amazing to me how many people are projecting their insecurities or their and let's just say it, most of them are men, projecting their insecurities or their lack of something that they think they may have done or didn't do.

00:04:36.060 --> 00:04:39.048
First of all, we haven't named anybody's names at all.

00:04:39.048 --> 00:04:40.011
And what do we always say?

00:04:40.011 --> 00:04:41.040
A hit dog will holler.

00:04:41.040 --> 00:04:52.536
So if you feel the need to call or to text because an experience or something that we've shared has triggered something that you think, now you need to respond to.

00:04:52.536 --> 00:04:56.107
Now we also have men saying y'all need to have a man on the couch.

00:04:56.107 --> 00:04:57.290
You need to have a man on the couch.

00:04:57.290 --> 00:04:58.930
Why do we need to have a man on the couch?

00:04:58.951 --> 00:05:01.846
Because we're not talking about men, a different perspective.

00:05:02.639 --> 00:05:04.567
Yeah, but we're not talking about men.

00:05:04.567 --> 00:05:05.846
We've made some comments.

00:05:05.846 --> 00:05:06.661
No, let's start with this.

00:05:06.661 --> 00:05:29.225
You've made some comments, but you've made, but I feel like you've made them from general and from my experience, your experiences from my experiences, like when I say men don't approach me when I'm out, or and that's your experience that's been my experience, so but so now we need men to explain now they feel why they don't approach me.

00:05:29.264 --> 00:05:31.329
I guess one told me I look mean as shit.

00:05:31.329 --> 00:05:32.600
So it's like look at you.

00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:33.161
You look mean.

00:05:33.161 --> 00:05:39.334
I was like, oh, okay, well I'm not for you walking around cheesing all the time.

00:05:39.334 --> 00:05:39.821
I'm not.

00:05:39.821 --> 00:05:41.826
That's just not the person I am.

00:05:41.826 --> 00:05:44.937
And what's crazy is that my last relationship.

00:05:45.016 --> 00:06:01.375
I gave him much respect because no one approaches me, and the fact that he approached me I was like finally somebody talking about that, but when I think in hindsight, it's because I was coming out of a bar singing and dancing and having a good time, but you always are and I look always even.

00:06:01.375 --> 00:06:04.887
But even if, yeah, you're in the bar, you know I'm down, I'm having a good time.

00:06:05.007 --> 00:06:06.230
And people don't say anything.

00:06:06.230 --> 00:06:10.750
Yes, and I actually had a friend's husband tell me years ago.

00:06:10.750 --> 00:06:13.939
He was a Kappa and we were at a Kappa casino night.

00:06:13.939 --> 00:06:30.209
I think I was in my early 30s and I was there with him and his wife, third wheel forever and we were there and he came up he said, steph, he was like so many of my bros want to approach you, but you look mean and they are scared to say something to you and I'm like what?

00:06:30.209 --> 00:06:31.769
And you're dancing and I know you.

00:06:31.769 --> 00:06:33.932
No, well, me and her were just in the corner talking.

00:06:33.932 --> 00:06:38.196
At the time I wasn't, we had on suits and we were just like that.

00:06:38.196 --> 00:06:39.836
So he was like listen, please, try this.

00:06:39.836 --> 00:06:41.021
He said please.

00:06:41.021 --> 00:06:41.584
He said said please.

00:06:41.584 --> 00:06:45.759
He said go over there, talk to my wife he said act like y'all laughing, crack some jokes.

00:06:45.939 --> 00:06:49.367
He said please smile and act like you're fun.

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And I'm like why I got to do this like jesus and I was like whatever and so I was like girl this is so crazy girl that I got to and people started talking to me and so I learned that a lot of men, I think, like I said, I feel like I have a resting bitch face a lot of times and so people are scared.

00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:11.685
I said I feel like I have a resting bitch face a lot of times and so people are scared to approach me and that's why I'm like very approachable and I'm not rude, I'm not going to be like get away from me, why are you talking?

00:07:11.685 --> 00:07:15.983
I'm not that lady, but I guess my face gives that off.

00:07:15.983 --> 00:07:19.346
And so when I started doing that, then people would approach me.

00:07:19.346 --> 00:07:25.735
So, like I said in my last relationship, I was coming out to bar having a good time and I guess he felt like she look a little fun.

00:07:25.735 --> 00:07:27.144
Hey, where you going?

00:07:27.144 --> 00:07:27.968
You taking a party with you?

00:07:27.968 --> 00:07:28.401
Where you going?

00:07:28.401 --> 00:07:30.663
Come on back in, I think.

00:07:30.663 --> 00:07:32.810
And that's because no one talks to me.

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So then I just we latched on and we had a lot in common or whatever.

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Y'all better catch me when I'm out.

00:07:40.608 --> 00:07:47.687
Do you think it's because a lot of men are them out?

00:07:47.687 --> 00:07:53.997
I do think so and I I thank god that built y'all up for that.

00:07:53.997 --> 00:07:56.144
I just I can't take rejection, that's all.

00:07:56.144 --> 00:07:58.795
I could never be a man, because I know they're.

00:07:58.795 --> 00:08:00.723
They're like just built for a lot of rejection.

00:08:00.723 --> 00:08:05.579
They have to take a lot of rejection, and so I don take a lot of rejection, and so I don't know, I feel bad for y'all.

00:08:05.579 --> 00:08:07.608
I'm still not saying nothing to you, though.

00:08:08.742 --> 00:08:22.528
I'm like we just all gonna be rejected because I ain't saying nothing to you so you don't see men or see someone and be like, ooh, you just sit there the whole time and say, ooh, I hope he come talk to me, uh that listen, listen.

00:08:22.588 --> 00:08:27.803
I did that two times in my life and my dad always told me.

00:08:27.803 --> 00:08:30.612
When I was 19, he said men are the hunters.

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Yes, and women are hunted.

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And two times in my life I decided I'm gonna say something to this and got my face cracked.

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And then that's when I realized that men have a preference so the one dude that I thought was cute and was trying to talk to.

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He only liked light-skinned women and so I was too dark for him, so he went.

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He went my type.

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And then I tried talking to another guy we out there dancing like yeah, yeah, yeah.

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He's.

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Like yeah, you're a little too little for me.

00:08:54.230 --> 00:08:58.529
I like your home girl because she was a thick, voluptuous woman and I was like damn so.

00:08:58.529 --> 00:09:01.985
That's why I was like I'm not approaching a man, because men have their preferences.

00:09:01.985 --> 00:09:02.967
They know, know what they like.

00:09:02.967 --> 00:09:04.772
I'm not trying to get rejected?

00:09:05.072 --> 00:09:05.714
Yeah, we do.

00:09:05.714 --> 00:09:09.866
We have our preferences, we know what we like, so if they approach us, then they're getting rejected as well.

00:09:09.899 --> 00:09:11.125
I do it in a nice way.

00:09:13.424 --> 00:09:14.327
Why she do all of this.

00:09:16.988 --> 00:09:19.806
I mean whoever I don't know.

00:09:19.806 --> 00:09:25.940
For me and you guys know this I don't have a problem going to say something to somebody.

00:09:27.225 --> 00:09:28.087
I'm a rafters.

00:09:28.159 --> 00:09:32.110
Yeah, I don't have a problem approaching somebody because it's 50-50.

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You never know if you don't try.

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And you know I come from the old school, the old rules, but I don't live by, you know.

00:09:39.105 --> 00:09:39.927
I don't live by Frank.

00:09:39.967 --> 00:09:41.664
Sinatra, I always do it, my way.

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So I don't live by any of those rules anyway.

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But you have a 50-50 chance.

00:09:46.481 --> 00:09:47.186
I'm a punk.

00:09:48.662 --> 00:09:50.823
I can't, I ain't made up like that.

00:09:50.923 --> 00:09:56.148
You know I cry, but rejection doesn't bother me either.

00:09:57.879 --> 00:10:01.267
I know this is going to sound really terrible but I'm not rejected very often.

00:10:01.267 --> 00:10:05.990
But I also don't approach very often.

00:10:05.990 --> 00:10:06.936
Oh, this is, I don't approach very often.

00:10:06.936 --> 00:10:08.500
Oh, this is gonna sound so mean and terrible.

00:10:08.500 --> 00:10:13.306
I don't like people very often yeah, well, no, that's not me.

00:10:13.426 --> 00:10:26.196
I rarely see, I think, younger me, younger me, I think, saw a lot of the physical traits of men that I liked and so be like, hey you know, and then a lot of.

00:10:26.196 --> 00:10:34.451
Well, I think two things are a little bit different than they were back then, and especially two with, at our age, younger me, you just kind of made yourself available.

00:10:34.652 --> 00:10:47.043
I'm gonna go walk to the bar, because sometimes we, because we're in a herd, with the hen house yeah, men don't want to come into the hen house because now not only are you being rejected, but it's also in front of the girlfriends and all that kind of stuff.

00:10:47.043 --> 00:10:52.221
Men used to send drinks because we kind of had this conversation a little bit on your episode.

00:10:53.471 --> 00:10:54.556
Men used to send drinks.

00:10:54.556 --> 00:10:58.043
You know, do you send one or you got to send the whole table, all that kind of thing.

00:10:58.043 --> 00:11:00.355
So sometimes you got to pull yourself out the herd.

00:11:00.355 --> 00:11:02.322
Pull yourself out the herd.

00:11:02.322 --> 00:11:04.438
I don't care if you go into the ladies room.

00:11:04.438 --> 00:11:10.152
I can't tell you how many times you just go into the ladies room and see, and that's a pet peeve for me.

00:11:10.152 --> 00:11:14.554
That's a pet peeve for me, not that you're talking to me, but don't grab me.

00:11:14.575 --> 00:11:14.855
Yeah.

00:11:15.330 --> 00:11:16.051
I never like that.

00:11:16.051 --> 00:11:24.565
You can do that, you know, excuse me, you know, or something like that, but that grab thing, see then the other leg kind of come out.

00:11:24.565 --> 00:11:30.448
And I'm not as pleasant Because I just, first of all, you don't know me but you don't ever right.

00:11:30.730 --> 00:11:34.456
Don't invade my personal space like that, but I don't know.

00:11:34.456 --> 00:11:51.486
But now I think when I'm out like the grocery store getting something to eat, like it ain't even the club scene no more, it's the gas station or whatever, I don't know, if just I got a filter on or something Like the physical is not as important to me anymore.

00:11:51.486 --> 00:11:53.831
So you not approaching me, I don't.

00:11:53.831 --> 00:11:56.941
I rarely see men I'm attracted to physically.

00:11:56.941 --> 00:11:58.914
I know that sound crazy.

00:11:58.914 --> 00:12:00.816
I'm attracted to power.

00:12:00.816 --> 00:12:03.000
I've noticed that I love a man that got some some power crazy, I'm attracted to power.

00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:04.519
I've noticed that I love a man that got some power body.

00:12:04.519 --> 00:12:06.999
I love a big boy with some swag.

00:12:06.999 --> 00:12:11.119
The only thing I can say I don't really like is skinny.

00:12:12.221 --> 00:12:12.802
It's thin.

00:12:13.210 --> 00:12:14.595
But that's my insecurity.

00:12:14.595 --> 00:12:15.719
You know what I'm saying.

00:12:15.719 --> 00:12:18.418
Like I ain't going to be the fat bitch in a relationship with your little skinny ass.

00:12:18.437 --> 00:12:19.260
You know what I'm saying.

00:12:20.053 --> 00:12:22.466
We got enough body issues Right, little skinny ass.

00:12:22.384 --> 00:12:23.341
You know what I'm saying we got enough body issues right.

00:12:23.341 --> 00:12:24.476
It's concerns already I ain't gonna never be with.

00:12:24.496 --> 00:12:26.748
I ain't gonna be the big one and you the little skinny brother.

00:12:26.748 --> 00:12:35.995
But that also was part of the tomboy in me, because I'm still I just heard what's his face tomboyish we ain't gonna do nothing, right?

00:12:36.716 --> 00:12:38.581
I need you to have some meat on your body, right?

00:12:38.660 --> 00:12:39.101
like I'm.

00:12:39.101 --> 00:12:41.822
I think I go into I'm kind of protective.

00:12:41.822 --> 00:12:44.655
Well, y'all already know I'm protective of my friends.

00:12:44.655 --> 00:12:46.182
I'm protective of my family.

00:12:46.182 --> 00:12:52.304
I'm protective of my circle and and family don't mean blood and that's my relationships.

00:12:52.304 --> 00:12:52.525
You.

00:12:52.525 --> 00:12:53.469
You part of my family.

00:12:53.469 --> 00:12:54.491
I'm very protective of that.

00:12:54.491 --> 00:13:09.793
So when I'm with a person that's smaller or than me, I'm in a more of a protective mode, which is why I like bigger men I like taller men whatever, because I like to feel protected, cause you know I have a little, not that little men aren't strong.

00:13:10.095 --> 00:13:10.897
No, they're not.

00:13:10.897 --> 00:13:23.581
I mean, I'm not saying that they're not, but this is my preference and us, and saying our preferences is cracking me up and that kind of brings us back to the conversation with you when we stating what we like or what we've been through our preferences.

00:13:23.581 --> 00:13:33.094
It's amazing to me how people watching have internalized that to say I'm not talking about who, say I'm talking about you, I'm talking about what I like.

00:13:33.114 --> 00:13:44.235
What I like or what has happened to me and how now you've projecting your insecurities and now you feel the need to text me privately because you got some, because I said something about what I like or what.

00:13:44.476 --> 00:13:45.380
I want or whatever.

00:13:45.380 --> 00:13:47.931
So that was kind of how that circle back to that.

00:13:47.931 --> 00:13:54.972
But yeah, I don't, I don't meet, I'm I'm rarely attracted to anybody anymore and I notice that's crazy.

00:13:54.972 --> 00:14:03.440
Um, as much as I do love love, yeah, I do, I love love, but the things that were so important to me before, just not that important to me anymore.

00:14:04.390 --> 00:14:05.437
What's your credit score?

00:14:05.437 --> 00:14:08.495
What's your social security check?

00:14:08.495 --> 00:14:08.756
Look like.

00:14:09.370 --> 00:14:10.352
No, it ain't even that.

00:14:10.352 --> 00:14:17.210
Because one is because just education, of learning what credit can do for our lives.

00:14:17.210 --> 00:14:23.087
If you and I are to get together, I don't care what your profession is, you know it's this one.

00:14:23.087 --> 00:14:29.024
It's this one thing on um instagram and facebook, um the gold digger pranks.

00:14:29.024 --> 00:14:31.331
Do y'all ever watch those, the gold digger pranks?

00:14:31.631 --> 00:14:37.178
I love that where the ladies be walking and they'll see the guy with the car and then they'll turn around and try to talk to me.

00:14:37.198 --> 00:14:40.450
He's like no, yeah, yeah he, the guy, is walking down the street.

00:14:40.450 --> 00:14:43.472
He'll walk up to a young lady, lady, and he'll be like hey, how you doing.

00:14:43.472 --> 00:14:44.572
You look, you're beautiful.

00:14:44.572 --> 00:14:45.734
Are you talking to me?

00:14:46.274 --> 00:14:47.875
Don't talk to me or whatever, whatever.

00:14:48.216 --> 00:14:51.457
And you know, and he's like, you know, my name is such and such and she, what's your name?

00:14:51.457 --> 00:14:52.479
I don't got one.

00:14:52.859 --> 00:14:54.681
No name, none of your business.

00:14:54.681 --> 00:14:56.341
They do that whole thing.

00:14:56.461 --> 00:14:57.182
They do that whole.

00:14:57.182 --> 00:14:57.442
Thing.

00:14:57.442 --> 00:15:06.110
And he'd be like you know what, you have a good day, and then he'd go to get in a nice car and they'd turn around Girl, they'd be running back tapping on the windows all that kind of stuff that's so terrible.

00:15:06.110 --> 00:15:14.948
Cracks me up, cracks me up, and it's amazing that that's what our young generation has come to.

00:15:15.431 --> 00:15:18.158
And not even just young, because there's some older ones in there too.

00:15:18.158 --> 00:15:20.663
So we can't blame the young kids mean acting.

00:15:20.703 --> 00:15:21.907
We can't blame the young kids.

00:15:21.907 --> 00:15:28.071
You saw his nice car and then all of a sudden, but I can tell you right now a lot of people with a lot of things that they're.

00:15:28.071 --> 00:15:29.875
That don't mean they're generous show don't.

00:15:29.894 --> 00:15:31.919
I want a generous man and that.

00:15:31.919 --> 00:15:37.479
And a generous man is a giver and he don't have to have all that money.

00:15:37.479 --> 00:15:40.770
He might finds a way to make you feel special.

00:15:40.770 --> 00:15:45.972
And generosity doesn't mean money, it does not, it doesn't, it doesn't mean money.

00:15:45.972 --> 00:15:51.413
So I think now when I, when I'm out and I see men, I just see them differently, you know.

00:15:51.413 --> 00:15:59.255
So, yeah, your credit score is important to me because I know what your credit score can do for us, for us.

00:15:59.255 --> 00:16:02.241
If you got bad credit, okay, let's, let's get your credit fixed.

00:16:02.241 --> 00:16:04.631
That don't mean I won't, I won't talk to you.

00:16:04.631 --> 00:16:07.840
Okay, now we don't keep get, keep getting it fixed.

00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:12.476
Right, that part, but it is that, because you know but it's your.

00:16:12.576 --> 00:16:14.765
It's because now I look at money different.

00:16:14.765 --> 00:16:16.431
Yeah, I look at money differently.

00:16:16.431 --> 00:16:24.369
Um prime example, we're going to close on a investment property credit.

00:16:24.489 --> 00:16:41.754
They looked at credit, they wanted to see bank statements and now they're financing 93% we don't have to come to the table with no money because you had the credit, you have the this and now you can go to go and buy it, buy investment property.

00:16:41.754 --> 00:16:49.865
So we have the potential to purchase this property, literally coming to the table with like ten thousand dollars.

00:16:49.865 --> 00:16:56.644
Ok, and we, you know we're getting that whole other that's a whole nother conversation of how you don't even have to have ten thousand dollars.

00:16:56.644 --> 00:16:57.972
But do you have good credit?

00:16:57.972 --> 00:17:02.269
Do you have a credit card that you got five thousand on this one and five thousand on this one credit?

00:17:02.269 --> 00:17:04.413
Do you have a credit card that you got 5,000 on this one and 5,000 on this one?

00:17:04.413 --> 00:17:14.300
Now you can go get you a house, a house and the people will give you the loan to fix it up, and now I'm going to flip this house and this potential home is a hundred thousand dollar profit.

00:17:14.682 --> 00:17:23.282
But if your house ain't in order, see, now I'm looking at men differently because I want some things in my life and I want you to be able.

00:17:23.282 --> 00:17:24.265
What can we do together?

00:17:24.265 --> 00:17:29.551
So that whole topic of what you bring to the table are you bringing a credit score to the table?

00:17:29.551 --> 00:17:30.453
That's what I need.

00:17:30.453 --> 00:17:32.800
I need you to have good credit, because if you got good credit.

00:17:32.800 --> 00:17:39.712
I can help you If you already don't know how to leverage your credit to be able to get access to funding.

00:17:39.712 --> 00:17:42.487
To what you want to start a business, baby, you know to what you want to start a business baby.

00:17:42.487 --> 00:17:43.791
You know what business you want to start.

00:17:44.011 --> 00:17:49.193
You got good credit okay, let me show you how you can get the money to start that business because you got a good credit score.

00:17:49.193 --> 00:17:55.693
So when I look at men, I'll you know my look is a little differently right now.

00:17:55.693 --> 00:18:00.332
It's a little, it's just, it's just different, but I don't know if that's age, is that maturity?

00:18:00.332 --> 00:18:01.233
Is that education?

00:18:01.233 --> 00:18:02.075
I don't know what it is.

00:18:02.135 --> 00:18:03.017
I think all of it.

00:18:03.017 --> 00:18:04.460
And life experiences.

00:18:04.660 --> 00:18:13.522
I think it's all of it, and I think that um everybody look for something different right so, like you said, I love power, I want credit.

00:18:13.583 --> 00:18:13.990
I'm attracted.

00:18:13.990 --> 00:18:14.411
You know what I?

00:18:14.431 --> 00:18:17.037
mean everybody have something different?

00:18:17.037 --> 00:18:21.292
Did they just they want and or need?

00:18:21.292 --> 00:18:23.259
You know what I mean in a relationship?

00:18:23.259 --> 00:18:24.516
Now, I do think that's important.

00:18:24.516 --> 00:18:37.538
I'm not maturity we're not going backwards and trying to figure out the credit and get your score up and all of that stuff Like that's over, right, Right.

00:18:37.538 --> 00:18:41.520
But yeah, it's just for everybody, it's something different.

00:18:41.520 --> 00:18:43.500
Yeah, no, I still like sexy, though now Don't get me wrong, Because you know it's just for everybody.

00:18:43.433 --> 00:18:43.821
It's something different.

00:18:43.821 --> 00:18:47.439
I still like sexy, though now Don't get me wrong, Because you know she's still got to percolate when I see her Right.

00:18:47.439 --> 00:18:49.776
But you want to make me percolate?

00:18:49.776 --> 00:18:51.038
Come with a good credit score.

00:18:51.038 --> 00:18:53.260
Oh geez, Come with a good credit score.

00:18:53.269 --> 00:18:54.531
Maybe I'm at a 9.10.

00:18:55.173 --> 00:18:56.013
You know what I'm saying.

00:18:56.013 --> 00:19:01.602
Well, I like to see a man that's at this age of my life doing this thing.

00:19:01.602 --> 00:19:03.865
Whatever that is, I don't even care.

00:19:03.865 --> 00:19:08.636
That's what I'm saying, your profession is not important to me anymore.

00:19:08.636 --> 00:19:10.405
You know, back in the day you wanted a man that did this or you wanted to do that.

00:19:10.405 --> 00:19:11.150
That's not important to me anymore.

00:19:11.150 --> 00:19:14.933
What are you doing now and in your fifties?

00:19:14.933 --> 00:19:17.317
I don't have a lot of time for people.

00:19:17.357 --> 00:19:22.364
That's fixing to or getting ready to, or one day I want to.

00:19:22.605 --> 00:19:23.065
And I'm going.

00:19:23.065 --> 00:19:24.333
Well, when does that day start?

00:19:24.333 --> 00:19:26.673
Because we in our 50s- bro.

00:19:27.115 --> 00:19:30.800
Yeah, it's like the 40-something wanting to be a rapper, what?

00:19:31.371 --> 00:19:37.660
He's still chasing that career, but it's what you said Tell me wrong, because Killer Mike just won all kind of Grammys.

00:19:37.869 --> 00:19:47.042
Yeah, and all that kind of stuff Shout out to Killer Mike, but he was still chasing the dream to get there.

00:19:47.083 --> 00:19:49.700
Yeah, at 40-something, I hear you 40-something, you can't tell me.

00:19:49.740 --> 00:19:56.903
I'm still trying to be a rapper, so I'm still saying that, Well, if not, then when it's like to me, it's never too late to try to do what you want to do.

00:19:57.029 --> 00:19:58.897
But remember, we just said we're all different.

00:19:58.897 --> 00:20:03.433
We just said we're all different.

00:20:03.453 --> 00:20:04.577
I mean we all want something different.

00:20:04.577 --> 00:20:05.502
So for me, you guys, it's just not my life.

00:20:05.502 --> 00:20:06.346
For me, I'm looking at what you're doing.

00:20:06.346 --> 00:20:07.190
It's not that you, it's not that you can't.

00:20:07.190 --> 00:20:09.977
First of all, you know, you can always start something new.

00:20:09.997 --> 00:20:11.661
Yeah, it's never too late.

00:20:11.781 --> 00:20:17.724
It's never too late, but I think I'm over the dreamer yeah, I think I.

00:20:17.744 --> 00:20:19.048
We dreamed back then.

00:20:19.128 --> 00:20:21.936
Now you got in your 50s, you got to be doing.

00:20:21.936 --> 00:20:23.642
Doing it got to be in motion.

00:20:23.990 --> 00:20:24.752
Even if you're not.

00:20:24.834 --> 00:20:25.877
I'm not where I want to be.

00:20:25.877 --> 00:20:28.354
I'm not where I want to be, but I'm still.

00:20:28.394 --> 00:20:29.522
I don't think any of us are.

00:20:29.522 --> 00:20:31.638
I'm still trying to get there.

00:20:31.951 --> 00:20:33.376
I'm still trying to get there.

00:20:33.376 --> 00:20:38.338
But that person that sits back and just say, one day I'm going to well, when is one day?

00:20:38.338 --> 00:20:39.240
When you're in your 50s?

00:20:39.559 --> 00:20:41.402
When they wait for you to help them do it.

00:20:41.782 --> 00:20:42.763
When you're in your 50s.

00:20:43.545 --> 00:20:44.726
So yeah, so I'm you know.

00:20:45.165 --> 00:21:01.010
But it's just, these are our own preferences, these are our own experiences that we've had, and it's just been amazing to me how our male audience has something to say Privately, though privately, comment.

00:21:01.010 --> 00:21:03.419
Look whichever camera, comment on if you got something to say I got.

00:21:03.419 --> 00:21:04.763
Privately, though privately comment whichever camera.

00:21:04.763 --> 00:21:05.748
Yeah, comment.

00:21:05.748 --> 00:21:08.545
If you got something to say, comment on it?

00:21:08.565 --> 00:21:23.515
Yeah, we look at comments, we respond we look at all the comments yeah, you ain't got to call privately, you ain't got to text privately and a hit dog will holler the conversation might not even have been about you, and I think it's interesting.

00:21:23.535 --> 00:21:24.538
I think I talked to you.

00:21:24.538 --> 00:21:34.692
I may have said something to you, aunt Stephanie, but we did that one on marriage with Cheryl and You're either married or you're single right.

00:21:34.692 --> 00:21:42.142
Right and so several people actually said something to my boo about she's sitting out there talking about she's single.

00:21:42.142 --> 00:21:43.204
What are y'all talking about?

00:21:43.204 --> 00:21:44.383
Like I'm not married.

00:21:44.383 --> 00:21:50.596
The people that reach out and say something to her about this podcast thing.

00:21:50.596 --> 00:21:54.771
It's like crazy, I'm not, and the fact that I had to talk about that?

00:21:54.952 --> 00:22:00.498
Yeah, and based on what was happening, you were married or you were single Right.

00:22:00.498 --> 00:22:01.710
What are we talking about?

00:22:02.491 --> 00:22:06.269
Or married and unmarried, right, but they're watching and make comments to you.

00:22:06.369 --> 00:22:18.858
Right, they are watching, but that's why Y'all know, I told y'all I don't even go back and watch and look at the comments, because you know my personality can't take it your personality disorder.

00:22:18.858 --> 00:22:21.987
I can't.

00:22:21.987 --> 00:22:23.648
I'm too wired for all of that.

00:22:23.648 --> 00:22:24.990
Like what?

00:22:25.631 --> 00:22:27.032
What are we doing, but to your?

00:22:27.073 --> 00:22:28.314
point they are watching.

00:22:28.314 --> 00:22:31.719
Yeah, but why y'all have to do that negative stuff?

00:22:31.719 --> 00:22:32.839
It's just ridiculous.

00:22:32.859 --> 00:22:35.347
It's funny, it's funny, it's the world.

00:22:35.347 --> 00:22:37.054
We making your life hard over there, stephanie.

00:22:38.525 --> 00:22:38.969
It's funny, it's funny.

00:22:38.969 --> 00:22:40.844
So we start making your life hard over there, stephanie, but it's already hard.

00:22:41.484 --> 00:22:42.887
I mean, I'm sure it's hard.

00:22:42.887 --> 00:22:50.333
One of the things we talked about is that grieving you know when it's over it is, you have to mourn and grieve.

00:22:50.605 --> 00:22:51.989
It doesn't mean it's easy.

00:22:52.088 --> 00:22:56.019
You know those kind of decisions are, they're just really hard.

00:22:56.019 --> 00:23:03.108
And then when you get on here and you're making all of us, when we're saying things we're not none of us are like this.

00:23:03.108 --> 00:23:08.573
We're not saying anything negative towards the person we were with currently with at all.

00:23:08.573 --> 00:23:12.050
We're having generalized conversations like talking about men.

00:23:12.050 --> 00:23:21.191
I'm not even one of them, God, but I sit here and have these conversations right, and she could be like, well, damn, I want people to know, but that's not what we're doing.

00:23:21.285 --> 00:23:23.753
We're just having generalized conversations.

00:23:24.765 --> 00:23:33.057
And so we can't just take everything and personalize it to ourself to appease somebody else.

00:23:33.057 --> 00:23:34.961
You kind of need you, not kind of.

00:23:34.961 --> 00:23:46.680
You need people who are strong enough to withstand whatever you're talking about and they're okay because they know that y'all are good, mm-hmm you're just having a conversation.

00:23:46.680 --> 00:23:51.034
So it is what you said the hit dogs will have conversations.

00:23:51.034 --> 00:23:59.213
The feedback that follow up is a lot from the guys apart that you've had our conversation about boundaries yeah, about boundaries.

00:24:00.134 --> 00:24:06.833
And I, you know, I'm the first person to tell everybody don't listen to me, because you will be single, because I.

00:24:06.833 --> 00:24:12.770
One thing I have learned and it's taken me time to get here is I have very strict and firm boundaries.

00:24:12.770 --> 00:24:16.057
If it disrupts my peace, oh absolutely.

00:24:16.057 --> 00:24:26.125
If it disrupts my peace, if you and I are in a relationship and we are no longer together, I don't need to call you no more and there's no conversation.

00:24:26.125 --> 00:24:27.409
We don't need to talk.

00:24:27.409 --> 00:24:29.795
I'm okay with that.

00:24:29.795 --> 00:24:36.776
But what you're not gonna do is call me with your tricks because something has triggered you and now you need to project that back onto me.

00:24:36.776 --> 00:24:37.866
We're together.

00:24:37.866 --> 00:24:41.035
We're not together if we're not together what I could say.

00:24:41.075 --> 00:24:51.347
Whatever I want to say about how I feel and my feelings, my perspective, same way you can do the same about your feelings and all those kind of things.

00:24:51.347 --> 00:24:55.008
But what you can't do is call me to bother me with your right no, I agree with that 100.

00:24:55.028 --> 00:24:56.554
That's called setting boundaries, I agree with that 100%.

00:24:56.574 --> 00:24:58.541
That's called setting boundaries 100%.

00:24:58.541 --> 00:24:59.204
I agree with that.

00:24:59.204 --> 00:25:02.932
You cannot disrupt my peace and you're in a mourning period.

00:25:02.932 --> 00:25:13.497
This is a mourning period, so that constant antagonizing that just keeps ripping the band-aid back off, yeah, you got to heal.

00:25:13.497 --> 00:25:16.306
Give yourself time to heal, and that's when you got to set boundaries.

00:25:16.306 --> 00:25:16.946
Set boundaries.

00:25:16.946 --> 00:25:25.376
And you know, and I know, your, your ex, I like him, me too, from what I know of him, but I'm not in a relationship with him.

00:25:25.376 --> 00:25:27.239
You know, you know what I'm saying.

00:25:27.239 --> 00:25:29.682
I like him and so it's no, it's that's what I'm saying.

00:25:29.682 --> 00:25:34.386
It's never, it's not anything negative.

00:25:34.386 --> 00:25:35.529
That's the same thing with me and my ex-husband.

00:25:35.529 --> 00:25:37.653
My ex-husband, my ex-husband is a great guy.

00:25:37.653 --> 00:25:39.659
We're just not meant to be together.

00:25:39.659 --> 00:25:43.817
It don't take away from him being a great guy he's not a bad that's what

00:25:43.857 --> 00:25:47.410
I'm like and you've never said anything about him he's like man, he's so much fun, or whatever.

00:25:47.750 --> 00:25:55.733
And because the two of you don't make it in a relationship, don't take away any from who from him from him being a great guy or you being a great woman.

00:25:55.733 --> 00:25:58.037
It just weren't meant for y'all two to be together.

00:25:58.037 --> 00:26:00.140
Yeah, that's it, you know.

00:26:00.140 --> 00:26:00.480
But?

00:26:00.519 --> 00:26:00.820
all that.

00:26:01.306 --> 00:26:01.827
No, she'll be.

00:26:01.827 --> 00:26:11.354
Yeah, I know, but that constant this, this, this, that just keeps ripping that band-aid back off, You're going to have to set your boundaries Because I might have some shit I need him to fix around here one day.

00:26:11.354 --> 00:26:13.087
So don't be mad.

00:26:13.087 --> 00:26:15.292
I'll be like Stephanie, y'all cool.

00:26:15.292 --> 00:26:19.469
Yet I'm going to find somebody else and I'll be like can you call him?

00:26:19.469 --> 00:26:25.910
And let him come fix that over there for me, because he good at what he do he great he is.

00:26:25.910 --> 00:26:27.013
But not over here.

00:26:29.626 --> 00:26:31.730
I'm not petty like that and I know you're not.

00:26:32.888 --> 00:26:36.086
And you know that's a whole other conversation, right, that is a whole nother conversation.

00:26:36.106 --> 00:26:36.708
Right Like for real.

00:26:36.807 --> 00:26:41.557
That is a whole nother conversation about exes and then those connections.

00:26:41.698 --> 00:26:41.959
Yeah.

00:26:42.766 --> 00:26:43.567
My ex-husband.

00:26:43.567 --> 00:26:46.556
We're going to be filming an episode in Jamaica in a couple of weeks.

00:26:46.556 --> 00:26:49.613
Ok, all four of us will be together in Jamaica.

00:26:49.613 --> 00:26:55.407
I called and invited my ex-husband and his wife to come, that's so progressive Because my son is going to be there.

00:26:55.407 --> 00:26:56.690
My son is going to be there.

00:26:56.690 --> 00:27:01.917
My son is going to be there and we've never all been in the same, whatever.

00:27:01.917 --> 00:27:07.608
At the same time, I don't have anything against his current wife.

00:27:07.608 --> 00:27:08.309
He's a great guy.

00:27:08.329 --> 00:27:09.573
That's an interesting topic.

00:27:09.573 --> 00:27:12.499
So, progressive, and let me tell you why that's an interesting topic.

00:27:15.865 --> 00:27:17.068
Because, oh my gosh, that would be a really good topic.

00:27:17.068 --> 00:27:23.632
Okay, well, we're going to hold it there for another episode, then that's a good topic Because it's so progressive, it's so progressive that I can just hear all the comments.

00:27:24.093 --> 00:27:24.294
Yeah.

00:27:24.996 --> 00:27:25.277
Okay.

00:27:25.984 --> 00:27:27.049
Maybe we all set up.

00:27:28.705 --> 00:27:32.093
Well, we already know we're going to have to talk about that next episode.

00:27:32.093 --> 00:27:35.314
We're going to have to talk about that next episode because we're going to get off of here.

00:27:35.314 --> 00:27:37.701
We we're going to have to talk about that next episode because we're going to get off of here.

00:27:37.721 --> 00:27:38.223
We miss you, evonja, we do.

00:27:38.223 --> 00:27:40.250
We miss you, but we're done for today.

00:27:40.250 --> 00:27:43.835
But listen, man, we are not talking about you at all.

00:27:43.835 --> 00:27:47.830
Look in every camera, all right, at all we are not talking about you.

00:27:47.830 --> 00:27:49.511
We are talking about our experiences.

00:27:49.511 --> 00:27:51.553
But we would love to hear from you.

00:27:52.525 --> 00:27:53.766
We would love to hear from you.

00:27:53.766 --> 00:27:55.347
So we would love to hear from you.

00:27:55.347 --> 00:27:56.548
So that was just a little people.

00:27:56.548 --> 00:27:58.431
Yeah, in general, we would love to hear from you.

00:27:58.451 --> 00:27:58.892
Comment.

00:27:58.892 --> 00:27:59.592
Comment.

00:27:59.612 --> 00:28:00.492
Share, subscribe.

00:28:00.492 --> 00:28:03.655
Leave our we all know we got voicemail Leave our.

00:28:03.655 --> 00:28:12.489
Leave a voicemail for us If you have a topic you want us to talk about and then I think we were talking about Stephanie brought it up too we're going to start doing some lives.

00:28:12.489 --> 00:28:13.451
Come on and talk to us.

00:28:13.672 --> 00:28:15.335
Come on and talk to us live.

00:28:15.575 --> 00:28:17.739
Ask some questions, defend yourself.

00:28:17.739 --> 00:28:22.816
Yeah, dog me out, since you feel like you need to defend yourself, all those kind of things.

00:28:22.816 --> 00:28:24.730
But anyway, y'all this is Timeless and Unfiltered.

00:28:24.730 --> 00:28:26.174
I'm Legra, I'm Stephanie, I'm.

00:28:26.214 --> 00:28:27.147
Cherise, and we're missing.

00:28:27.228 --> 00:28:33.487
Avanya, but we're going to keep coming back spilling it to your midlife one life at to talk to y'all later.