May 20, 2025

Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love

Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love
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Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love

Send us a text In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you. 💬 Topics We Cover: Growing up and finding your voice Learning (and unlearning) love Lesso...

Send us a text

In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you.

💬 Topics We Cover:

Growing up and finding your voice

Learning (and unlearning) love

Lessons life teaches us the hard way

Self-love as a daily practice

Embracing midlife with grace and power

💖 This episode is for every woman who’s ever had to start over, find herself, and love herself fiercely.

✨ Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE for more unfiltered conversations every Tuesday.
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Chapters

00:00 - Military Kid to Akron Culture Shock

09:30 - Learning to Fight Back

11:40 - Pregnancy Changes Everything

17:40 - Journey to Atlanta

19:10 - The Artistry Platform

22:20 - Dating Struggles at Midlife

31:00 - Finding Alignment vs Attachment

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.300 --> 00:00:02.408
You get to know Stephanie, stephanie, stephanie.

00:00:02.408 --> 00:00:07.969
So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's talk about your childhood.

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What's it like being a military?

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I allow people to love me on their terms and you can't tell someone how to love you, but I want to be loved on my terms.

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The wisdom that we need to go further, because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it.

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Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up.

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Okay, let's go, let's go.

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This is Legra.

00:00:38.485 --> 00:00:40.426
This is Stephanie.

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This is Cherie and this is Ivanya.

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This is Stephanie.

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This is Cherie and this is Ivanya.

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And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife.

00:00:59.985 --> 00:01:01.847
One laugh at a time, hello, hello, hello, hello.

00:01:01.847 --> 00:01:05.132
Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered.

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I am Lekra and I am Stephanie, and you may notice there is nobody else on the couch but the two of us.

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We didn't kick them to the curb, we didn't kick them to the curb.

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We wanted to do an episode where you guys kind of get to know us a little bit better, yeah, so we wanted it to feel a little more intimate.

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So today we're gonna have a conversation with stephanie.

00:01:30.709 --> 00:01:31.852
Oh, it's stephanie.

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Stephanie, you and I go way back, but we don't go way back which?

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is funny.

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It's like we go way back, but we don't go way back I'll talk about how I guess how we met, or our relationship, or how do you know, I'm not exactly sure.

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So I I tell people I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew, because I have different friend groups, yes, here in Atlanta.

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And I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew and I'm like, wait, who's the Akron crew?

00:01:56.549 --> 00:02:00.025
And the Akron crew was you, kyra and your sister.

00:02:00.025 --> 00:02:02.170
Yes, so I was like that was my Akron crew.

00:02:02.170 --> 00:02:04.795
So I met you guys through Kyra.

00:02:05.537 --> 00:02:05.856
I guess.

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So well, first of all, look we both.

00:02:08.382 --> 00:02:16.989
Well, I guess you can't say exactly, being from Akron Ohio no, but yeah, we went to the same high school for a period of time, were you?

00:02:17.008 --> 00:02:17.853
there when I was there?

00:02:17.973 --> 00:02:45.326
no, okay, I was already gone, yeah but I heard of you and like Kyra because you guys were like yeah, and you guys were like the girl legends like, yeah, they were cold, they were the cold girls, so I had heard of you guys, okay and I would see you all in passing like, oh, that's being an underclassman no, like if there was events that you guys went back to games and stuff oh yeah, we would come home every once in a while.

00:02:45.326 --> 00:02:49.954
Yeah, yeah, so okay because no, you guys were in college y'all left.

00:02:50.054 --> 00:02:53.346
Well, we know we have a connection somewhere and it comes from Akron Ohio.

00:02:53.385 --> 00:02:59.865
We don't know exactly how but then you know years and years later we're both now in Atlanta.

00:02:59.944 --> 00:03:01.907
Yeah, and we both.

00:03:01.907 --> 00:03:09.562
Well, I had lost track of kyra for years, because even after high school she went to school.

00:03:09.562 --> 00:03:15.704
I went to a different school and at one point our schools played each other so we were able to connect again.

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But then of course, we everybody life, life happens, yeah and then we didn't see each other again and I'm not even sure how we connected.

00:03:22.655 --> 00:03:35.514
I'm not even sure how we connected once we got back down here, but I'm glad we did right, and that's what I tell and then you were friends with Kyra, yeah okay, kyra, and and yeah, yeah that's so funny.

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Like you know, it's just full circle now.

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But I tell people, as big as Atlanta is, it's really not that big, it's not.

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It's smaller pockets of people and smaller circles of people.

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So we were going to inevitably, I guess, run across each other's paths some at some point, and it's so funny.

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I remember when I first moved to Atlanta I think I was downtown somewhere and somebody said Hooper.

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I was like because he used to call me that in high school sometime and I was like I know ain't nobody okay, they came, not they're not talking to me and they said it again and I remember turning around.

00:04:08.127 --> 00:04:41.783
I can't remember who it was, but it was somebody I knew from high school and I was like I love that, oh you know I just I was downtown, but anyway, um, somehow we have connected yes, we have again, and you know, between all of our old school concerts oh yeah, we like to go to Our geriatric concerts Because baby people get old oh my goodness Well, I had the blessing of, not too long ago, going to a concert with my son Went to see Cowboy Carter tour with Beyonce and I remember sitting there thinking boy.

00:04:41.803 --> 00:04:46.093
This is really different of how concerts we used to go to.

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Ours were one a lot smaller.

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They weren't Well no, I went to a Janet concert back then.

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Hers was cold like the answer.

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Okay, I'm sorry.

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Janet is somebody else.

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Okay, because Janet is cold.

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Janet is different.

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Janet, beyonce, that's different.

00:05:01.586 --> 00:05:04.208
Okay, yeah, but I remember concerts felt more intimate.

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I guess they Beyonce, that's different.

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But I remember concerts felt more intimate.

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I guess they were you know, and you felt almost connected with the artist, so it was a little more intimate and stuff.

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And I remember sitting in the stadium going, wow, this is so nice.

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And then even the theatrics and the technology and the.

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You know we all had the little bands on.

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I loved how she controlled the environment.

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We had these little bands on and they light up.

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So when she wanted the stadium to be red, all our bands were.

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Our little things was red and when she wanted it white.

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It was white when she wanted it blue, they were blue.

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So when you came in, they put these little thing, gave you these little bands and had the cowboy carter band on it, and you didn't do anything.

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It just lit up when she wanted it to.

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It was amazing, that is so.

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So I was like, oh come on technology, so I was looking at him.

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You know, my, my son was looking at at uh, beyonce, I was looking at everything.

00:05:52.329 --> 00:05:58.028
I was like oh wow, this is wow, this is you know, yeah our concerts were, you know, very simple.

00:05:58.048 --> 00:06:04.250
They just don't stage right there, yeah, and we just right there with that was our concert, but was our concert.

00:06:04.250 --> 00:06:14.766
But yeah, so I know, with your love of music, what I know about Stephanie is Stephanie loves to dance, stephanie loves to sing, stephanie loves music.

00:06:14.766 --> 00:06:19.927
She's always a big, bright, bubbly ball of energy.

00:06:19.927 --> 00:06:23.720
Ball of energy when she comes in the room.

00:06:23.720 --> 00:06:28.591
But we want to get to know, but we want to get to know, we want to get to know, stephanie, stephanie, stephanie.

00:06:28.591 --> 00:06:34.130
So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's, let's talk about your childhood.

00:06:34.130 --> 00:06:35.815
What's it like being a military?

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we moved around um every couple of years, I think, maybe every two to three years.

00:06:41.088 --> 00:06:49.716
Both of my parents were in the air force, so in the air force, yeah we both move around a lot, but we were primarily based on the West Coast.

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So when I came to Akron, I migrated from the West Coast to Akron and I was different.

00:06:56.031 --> 00:07:09.083
Well, first of all, west Coast to Akron Ohio was a lot, lot and it was literally a culture shock like I had never seen so many black people in my life.

00:07:09.403 --> 00:07:19.553
Oh okay, when I enrolled in high school to where I was like and my grandma also went to John R Bookdale high school, which was a predominantly black high school.

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You went to the blackest of the blackest, and it was such a culture shock to me that I, like mentally, couldn't deal with it, and so my grandmother had to pull me out of school for a minute and then she put me back in and I went and was like, ok, this is, this is, we're going to see how this is.

00:07:39.134 --> 00:07:50.370
And I remember it was a lot to me and when I walked into the cafeteria I had the tray and I was like I'm probably like 60 pounds in a ninth grade.

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I'm really tiny and I'm like and it was two girls that were like, come, come, sit with us and they were upperclassmen okay, and it was Aaliyah Dawson and Heather Maxwell, and they were like little.

00:08:02.886 --> 00:08:08.571
I remember their names, I remember them and they just like took me under their wing because I'm just like I don't know what to do.

00:08:08.571 --> 00:08:22.733
It was just gosh and they were just my friends and just it was great, um, but my vernacular coming I was like such a valley girl and I'm like so you guys like want to hang out?

00:08:22.752 --> 00:08:26.899
I got beat up a lot, oh, oh, that's what.

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I got jumped so much and and it's really up.

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And I'm gonna say it's up because, like I said I was like 60 pounds.

00:08:35.942 --> 00:08:39.129
I was very tiny and it would be the upperclassmen girls.

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It would be like five at a time jumping on me because for whatever reason, some, some boy looked at me or liked me and I didn't understand that either.

00:08:48.284 --> 00:08:49.107
That's how it always happens.

00:08:49.268 --> 00:08:57.000
I'm new, what is and from where I came from in Colorado, I was okay wait a minute how'd you get to Colorado?

00:08:57.019 --> 00:08:57.701
wait a minute.

00:08:57.981 --> 00:08:59.043
That's the west coast.

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I grew up between Arizona, california, colorado okay, okay that little.

00:09:04.144 --> 00:09:26.642
We were just stationed, we moved around, but when I migrated from Colorado to Akron, and then the thing with what you consider a valley girl, it was just my vernacular, I was just more proper, or I was just proper it comes out every once in a while it does, and I hear that people like, oh, there goes that.

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And I'm like, oh my god, it comes out.

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It comes out every once in a while, but I just felt that it was just.

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It was never fair.

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Um, if a boy like me it was.

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That's why I said Akron was like the worst five years of my life, which is so.

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I hate that for you.

00:09:44.188 --> 00:09:53.254
I got beat up so much Like the ninth grade to where my grandmother had to pull me out of John R Buchtel and send me over to Central Howard where it was more diverse.

00:09:53.419 --> 00:10:01.105
Yeah, it was very diverse over there, because I was like Griffin of the Month in the ninth grade Because I was like I strive to maintain my academic level.

00:10:01.105 --> 00:10:04.491
I was just like all the white administrators at John.

00:10:04.491 --> 00:10:07.014
They loved me and I worked in the office.

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They were like, come hang out in the office because they've seen the kids picking on me a lot and they're like she ain't even from here Y'all messing with this little girl.

00:10:13.565 --> 00:10:17.285
And they always had me in the office helping them out just to keep me out of the hallways.

00:10:17.285 --> 00:10:20.903
It was now, jack people up now.

00:10:20.903 --> 00:10:21.886
I loved high school.

00:10:21.886 --> 00:10:32.547
It was um, but I went to central howard and I hung with some people that taught me how to fight.

00:10:32.547 --> 00:10:37.144
So now, now you that, now you, that girl, what.

00:10:37.144 --> 00:10:38.508
I was able to go back to booktube.

00:10:38.528 --> 00:11:00.014
I was like I wish somebody would mess with me at this so you ended up going back to the yeah yeah, okay, I just went 10th grade central howard learned a couple of ones and then I was always fighting in the streets, now you know, outside of, and then I started dancing, hip-hop dancing okay when, I got back to um booked old chastity right was like when I was in the hall.

00:11:00.095 --> 00:11:05.758
She's like you look like you could dance and I was like I don't know, and then I wound up joining a girls group with her.

00:11:05.758 --> 00:11:09.873
So now we're opening up pep assemblies, winning the talent shows.

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We're traveling to, like the what was it sand run the african festival yeah we're dancing.

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So now people know me as, oh, she's a dancer and people really stop kind of messing with me because now I kind of made a name for myself.

00:11:21.869 --> 00:11:23.315
I'm the girl that dance.

00:11:23.414 --> 00:11:29.519
You know we're opening for men at large and laverde and x clan like we're doing like big stuff yeah we was cold.

00:11:29.519 --> 00:11:31.645
We was cold, um, we was cold.

00:11:31.645 --> 00:11:32.830
What happened?

00:11:32.830 --> 00:11:37.061
I got pregnant, you little fast ass.

00:11:37.061 --> 00:11:40.929
And so, the crazy thing about it, I got pregnant.

00:11:40.929 --> 00:11:45.360
I didn't start my menstrual till 17, which was people consider yeah, that's late.

00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:48.157
That is late for and the first time I had sex, I got pregnant.

00:11:48.157 --> 00:11:55.875
Oh, wow, jesus, the first time, the very first time I had, and it wasn't even worth it because we struggled so bad.

00:11:58.743 --> 00:11:59.985
I was like how did that happen?

00:11:59.985 --> 00:12:01.750
Because we struggled so bad.

00:12:01.750 --> 00:12:09.215
But we had literally just went to Boston and performed at an Orchard Park rec center where new addition was discovered.

00:12:09.215 --> 00:12:20.163
And so this scout was there and was like, oh, oh, I want to work with you girls, and he was building a girls group and it was like five of us that went up there to perform, but he only wanted me and Chastity at the time.

00:12:20.635 --> 00:12:21.861
And I was like dog man.

00:12:22.177 --> 00:12:25.195
But he had some other girls and he wanted to combine us into a girls group.

00:12:25.195 --> 00:12:26.856
That's how that usually works, yeah.

00:12:26.976 --> 00:12:34.003
Yeah, and then when we were up there at 2 o'clock in the morning I'm like God, I want some Chinese food and some pizza Didn't dawn on me that I was pregnant.

00:12:34.003 --> 00:12:40.470
I'm doing the backflips and Sammy grow up and performing, doing all the little stuff, and didn't know that my high-end pops was pregnant.

00:12:40.470 --> 00:12:48.937
And then we got back home and I told Chaz I was like you know, I miss my period, and she's like well, let's go to Planned Parenthood.

00:12:48.937 --> 00:12:50.279
And we skipped school that day.

00:12:50.279 --> 00:12:50.860
Oh wow.

00:12:50.899 --> 00:12:58.388
She went with me to Planned Parenthood and I took the pregnancy test and the lady was like, oh, I think you're in the clear and you start wearing protection.

00:12:58.388 --> 00:13:00.910
And I was like, ok, oh, so you came back negative.

00:13:00.910 --> 00:13:02.511
Nothing showed up on the thing.

00:13:02.532 --> 00:13:02.993
It was too soon.

00:13:08.182 --> 00:13:11.365
So, I was like yeah, hall and she's like I need to talk to you.

00:13:11.365 --> 00:13:13.408
So Chassie's like, did you leave something in there?

00:13:13.428 --> 00:13:14.250
And I was like I don't know.

00:13:14.416 --> 00:13:22.325
So they told you you were negative, that you weren't pregnant, and then called you didn't even make it down the hall, it was a faint line that started showing up.

00:13:22.325 --> 00:13:38.748
She was like I said oh my God and my coat, and I walked out, sad like the 90s sitcom challenge, because I was really like on the sitcom and I walked out with my coat and I was looking.

00:13:38.748 --> 00:13:40.134
She said what, why you look like that, I said.

00:13:40.134 --> 00:13:46.076
She said I'm pregnant and chastity, I didn't cry, I didn't do nothing, I was just like oh my god, I'm pregnant.

00:13:46.076 --> 00:13:47.859
Chastity cried.

00:13:47.859 --> 00:13:56.302
She's like you f***ed up the group baby when I tell you that was all that lady was worried about cause she's like this is our chance to blow up.

00:13:56.456 --> 00:13:57.404
And you messed it up.

00:13:57.404 --> 00:14:06.115
And she ran down the street crying and went and talked to me on the bus and I was like so it didn't go anywhere.

00:14:06.115 --> 00:14:08.355
At that point we didn't blow up.

00:14:08.355 --> 00:14:27.327
But that didn't stop the talent and my drive to try to do anything and that's why I wound up in Atlanta, because I would come down here and notice that I was like man, there's a bunch of people that look like me and they're young and they're doing it and they got cars and it's just, you know, I'm going to a club, ain't nobody fighting like it was just all love.

00:14:27.347 --> 00:14:32.466
This is in the 90s, so I'm just like, oh so that's what made you come down, baby?

00:14:32.466 --> 00:14:38.365
As soon as I got out of high school well no, because I started some mess in Akron, my grandma sent me to California.

00:14:38.365 --> 00:14:42.666
You got to go and I was like, so I got sent back to California.

00:14:43.307 --> 00:14:49.187
No, did you have a baby at this time, so you and the baby got sent back to California.

00:14:49.207 --> 00:14:50.311
The port of California.

00:14:50.311 --> 00:14:54.043
My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California.

00:14:54.043 --> 00:14:54.645
And what?

00:14:54.645 --> 00:14:55.207
Deported to California.

00:14:55.207 --> 00:14:57.195
My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California.

00:14:57.195 --> 00:15:02.414
And what I realize now in hindsight, my dad, I was 19.

00:15:02.414 --> 00:15:13.341
So my dad was 39 and he has a teenager, now a grandchild, and this teenager that was off the chain because now she learned how to fight and she talked messed to dudes and chicks and she's like yeah, yeah, yeah, just just this is you?

00:15:13.503 --> 00:15:14.765
Yeah, I'm assuming, okay.

00:15:15.615 --> 00:15:23.748
I started a whole bunch of mess man, and so now in California it's synonymous for gangs, yeah, Gangs.

00:15:23.748 --> 00:15:26.313
So he like oh, how do I keep this?

00:15:26.333 --> 00:15:27.880
girl, he don't know what to do with you at this point.

00:15:28.541 --> 00:15:30.562
And he just kept trying to keep me locked up in the house.

00:15:30.562 --> 00:15:32.183
Bless his heart and I get it.

00:15:32.183 --> 00:15:34.264
But I was like yeah, I'm not doing this.

00:15:34.264 --> 00:15:41.831
And one day I called a friend down in Atlanta, was like hey, can I come down there for a minute?

00:15:41.831 --> 00:15:45.316
And me and a baby, because this was her niece and she was like girl come on.

00:15:46.500 --> 00:15:51.134
And then, um, one day he went to work, I got it and I actually my second baby daddy.

00:15:51.134 --> 00:15:56.058
He was coming to see me in California and he had sent me money.

00:15:56.058 --> 00:15:58.004
He was like yeah, I'm gonna come check you out or whatever.

00:15:58.004 --> 00:16:02.183
And he sent me money and I used that money to buy a ticket and to come to Atlanta.

00:16:02.183 --> 00:16:04.177
And he done went out to California.

00:16:04.177 --> 00:16:05.279
He like where is she at?

00:16:05.279 --> 00:16:06.682
And my dad like I don't know.

00:16:06.702 --> 00:16:26.500
She left and then he called my grandma and grandma like she in Georgia you do, know, do know you and I just had a conversation before we came on camera and I said, Stephanie, you need to put these stories to music or something, Because what I tell you, my girl got stories, I got stories, you got stories for days.

00:16:26.562 --> 00:16:28.697
My life, my life, it's just so.

00:16:28.697 --> 00:16:32.628
That's how I came to Atlanta and then my goal was.

00:16:32.628 --> 00:16:40.755
Goal was oh, I'm gonna be a rapper and an interior designer, because I went to Akron U for a year for architecture and interior design okay, I was like yeah.

00:16:40.816 --> 00:16:44.791
I'm gonna do interior design and my goal was to get the athletes down here.

00:16:44.791 --> 00:16:49.755
So I was like I know these basketball players and football players they houses don't look like nothing because they're dudes.

00:16:49.755 --> 00:16:58.304
So I was like I'm a network with the athletes and be like, hey, let me decorate your house and in the meantime I'm going to try to be a rapper and blow up.

00:16:58.304 --> 00:17:00.000
And that didn't happen.

00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:05.461
My album is still on the shelf, so, but you did cut an album.

00:17:05.461 --> 00:17:06.565
No, not really.

00:17:06.654 --> 00:17:20.143
I was running around with somebody that said they were putting me on, that was on the label and he had me running around with him and I'm like but I think you just want me to run around, be cute with you.

00:17:20.143 --> 00:17:20.644
And then I did try.

00:17:20.644 --> 00:17:21.867
I still was like dancing.

00:17:21.867 --> 00:17:25.597
I tried out for it to be a background dancer.

00:17:25.597 --> 00:17:33.234
I was a fill-in for Blackstreet and then I tried out to be a Hawks cheerleader and I felt like I was too dark.

00:17:33.679 --> 00:17:35.075
I didn't know all of this about you.

00:17:35.496 --> 00:17:42.362
I think I was too black back in the day in the 90s Because I got through two rounds and they'd be like oh, cut.

00:17:42.522 --> 00:17:45.228
I'm like oh, oh yeah, but that's more.

00:17:45.228 --> 00:17:45.938
I was going to say so.

00:17:45.938 --> 00:17:48.181
You were a cheerleader too, but that's more dancing.

00:17:53.914 --> 00:17:55.018
It's dancing, dancing, like the dancing.

00:17:55.018 --> 00:17:56.000
But I was a cheerleader in um Colorado.

00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.566
That was little kid stuff and that's what I was going to say.

00:17:57.566 --> 00:18:00.596
My point is, when I migrated from Colorado and on the west coast, I was still in junior high.

00:18:00.596 --> 00:18:01.258
Okay.

00:18:01.258 --> 00:18:09.801
So to come to Akron and be in high school was like whoa and all the kids were really junior high was part of high school like ninth grade for y'all.

00:18:09.821 --> 00:18:11.163
Yeah, it was like ninth grade and twelfth.

00:18:11.163 --> 00:18:19.325
But um, in on the west coast, ninth grade was still in junior high and high school was 10th, 11th and 12th.

00:18:19.325 --> 00:18:19.705
Yes.

00:18:19.705 --> 00:18:26.738
So I was like, oh, I'm not an upperclassman here, I'm a lower classman and these people are way bigger than the people I'm used to seeing.

00:18:26.758 --> 00:18:42.663
Well, if you were 60 pounds, everybody was bigger than you yeah, I was tiny, oh well, I hate that you have that experience, but part of all of these things and all of these stories is what has grown you to, what is built character yes, and who you are now.

00:18:42.663 --> 00:18:50.558
Well, one of the things I love about, um, just even hearing your story is like here we are now.

00:18:50.558 --> 00:18:51.961
What 50?

00:18:51.961 --> 00:18:55.905
Still have the dream, still striving.

00:18:55.905 --> 00:18:58.068
But not only that, but you're trying to help other people.

00:18:58.068 --> 00:19:02.005
Oh yeah, with theirs, so tell me about.

00:19:02.914 --> 00:19:03.195
The artistry?

00:19:03.195 --> 00:19:05.142
Yeah, tell us about the artistry, the artistry.

00:19:06.174 --> 00:19:07.954
First of all, spell it because people don't spell it wrong.

00:19:08.075 --> 00:19:12.346
It's capital R-T-I-S-T-R-Y.

00:19:12.515 --> 00:19:14.003
Yes, the artistry.

00:19:14.003 --> 00:19:15.452
Yes, okay, take the a out of it.

00:19:15.492 --> 00:19:28.175
Take the a out of it um, and what I tell people is that I moved to atlanta to pursue my dreams of being a star and we didn't have the platforms that they have now with social media and things of that sort.

00:19:28.175 --> 00:19:40.266
I was like I was literally out looking like a fool, dancing everywhere, everywhere and I'm just like yeah, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I just did some stuff, man, it's so.

00:19:40.346 --> 00:19:43.459
I was like this is so different.

00:19:43.459 --> 00:19:57.482
Now it's so different and I just like to provide a platform because I love talented people, I just love the art of, I love how God gives everybody their talents and their spirits and I was like, oh, this is so great and I love watching it so.

00:19:57.482 --> 00:20:00.155
I tell people come out, do your thing.

00:20:00.155 --> 00:20:05.116
And I tell people you know it takes a lot for people to get up here and to do what they do, because you do.

00:20:05.237 --> 00:20:06.519
You have people come sing.

00:20:06.558 --> 00:20:20.523
Yeah, they do spoken word, comedians, vocalists, rappers, um, that's pretty much it for now, but I'm like, whatever y'all do, come on out, you know um, but I just like and I just be like.

00:20:20.523 --> 00:20:23.576
I love looking at the people do their thing.

00:20:23.635 --> 00:20:28.280
I just think it's so dope okay, how do they, how, how do they find the artistry?

00:20:28.280 --> 00:20:30.022
I'm on instagram.

00:20:30.202 --> 00:20:35.249
I'm under the artistry r-t-i-s-t-r-y.

00:20:35.249 --> 00:20:38.217
There was somebody else named the artistry.

00:20:38.217 --> 00:20:40.722
I had to put ink but I'm in the artistry.

00:20:40.722 --> 00:20:51.048
I'm legally incorporated as the artistry okay, um so, yeah, on tiktok, facebook and instagram, I want to do the the youtube.

00:20:51.048 --> 00:20:57.976
I feel like I'm so old and out of touch with technology, jesus, because even when I post my videos, I'll have people like you want me to help you with your video.

00:20:57.976 --> 00:21:04.346
I'm like, yeah, that'd be great because y'all trying to tell me I still look like shit trying to put the people out there.

00:21:04.385 --> 00:21:10.723
I'm trying to put them out there, but yeah, the artistry, come check us out once monthly follow us okay.

00:21:11.305 --> 00:21:13.228
So I know your life is such a journey.

00:21:13.228 --> 00:21:19.130
What would you, what would you want to change about your journey to where you are now?

00:21:19.130 --> 00:21:22.719
Or or would you change anything about your journey to where you are now?

00:21:22.719 --> 00:21:23.820
I feel?

00:21:23.861 --> 00:21:32.607
like I wouldn't change, because I think in one of our conversations on one of the episodes, it's a part.

00:21:32.607 --> 00:21:41.469
It helps us gain the wisdom that we need to go further, because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it.

00:21:41.469 --> 00:21:48.243
Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up and, okay, let's go, let's go.

00:21:48.243 --> 00:21:53.892
And so I've learned a lot and even till today I'm still learning.

00:21:53.892 --> 00:21:59.863
Yes, I learning never ceases and what I realize is that no one is perfect.

00:21:59.863 --> 00:22:01.788
We're all going to go through some mess.

00:22:01.788 --> 00:22:03.997
It's just how you handle it.

00:22:03.997 --> 00:22:07.319
Yeah, how you, who Jesus?

00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:08.741
Yeah, it's how you handle it.

00:22:08.741 --> 00:22:18.651
Sometimes I want to crash out like Lord Jesus, but it's a part of life and I take it and keep it going, keep it moving.

00:22:22.174 --> 00:22:23.357
Well, let's talk about a little more personal, stephanie.

00:22:23.377 --> 00:22:25.384
You know Stephanie loves love.

00:22:25.384 --> 00:22:30.540
I do, Stephanie, love love.

00:22:30.540 --> 00:22:34.098
I want to be in love.

00:22:34.098 --> 00:22:44.986
Know you do so bad, so bad, so bad that sometimes do you think sometimes you wanting to be in love so bad have tainted your choices?

00:22:44.986 --> 00:22:49.339
Yeah, oh, your selection of yeah, yeah, people in your life.

00:22:49.480 --> 00:22:56.288
Yeah, and I think that's a lesson um, a lesson that I'm learning.

00:22:56.288 --> 00:23:10.604
I think I I allow people to love me on their terms, and you can't tell someone how to love you, but I want to be loved on my terms.

00:23:10.604 --> 00:23:22.867
So what I realized is that, instead of just settling for people loving me on their terms, I need to love Stephanie enough to put her foot down and say listen, this is what I.

00:23:22.867 --> 00:23:45.137
I want to find someone that's in alignment with me and not try to love people into my alignment because I keep getting kicked in the face trying to do that I do, and so, god Jesus, yeah, I just got to find somebody that's in alignment with how I want to be loved, and I swear.

00:23:45.178 --> 00:23:46.182
I feel like it's simple.

00:23:46.182 --> 00:24:00.625
We all say that it sounds so simple, but finding that person and let's keep in mind, in mind too, we're in a very small pool that pool got piss and shit right.

00:24:00.684 --> 00:24:16.500
We're in a very small pool, it's not the same as when we were younger, so finding, finding that person and you know that's sad because you would think people have evolved but a lot of people aren't putting in the work to evolve.

00:24:16.500 --> 00:24:22.655
Geez, because I'm evolving what you saying.

00:24:22.655 --> 00:24:27.029
But why you saying like that Because I'm evolving, because I know I got my shit about me.

00:24:27.029 --> 00:24:32.953
I'm OCD, but not like super crazy.

00:24:32.953 --> 00:24:35.964
I just want you to wash your hands when you come out of the bathroom.

00:24:36.746 --> 00:24:37.849
I think that's just standard.

00:24:37.849 --> 00:24:38.672
No, it's not.

00:24:38.672 --> 00:24:39.674
It's supposed to be.

00:24:39.674 --> 00:24:41.692
But I wouldn't say that's making you OCD.

00:24:42.066 --> 00:24:59.656
You would think that people do, but it's not that freaking common men and women, shit, it's not and I'm like yeah, and so I'm just like this, like germaphobe, so um, yeah, so that might get on somebody's nerves.

00:24:59.675 --> 00:25:07.103
I'm like so you're not, you're not gonna wash your hands well, first of all, you, I would, you would have to align with somebody that that's just normal for them let's start with that.

00:25:07.103 --> 00:25:24.015
A lot of times you don't you may not know that right a lot of those things well, we, we have your story from before about the, the basketball shorts and and, yeah, and I didn't know that that was months in, yeah, so it's like, dang, how do you have these conversations with people?

00:25:24.415 --> 00:25:32.092
and so, jokingly, I had discussed this with somebody and I was like, yeah, I'm gonna just start asking dudes straight up like, hey, uh, this dad, this dad, this dad.

00:25:32.092 --> 00:25:35.198
And he said, man, I would, I'd get up and walk away from you.

00:25:35.198 --> 00:25:38.460
He was like now I tell the other dudes, man, don't go talk to her, she's crazy.

00:25:38.460 --> 00:25:44.130
And I was like, because I want to not waste your time, I don't want to waste nobody's time.

00:25:44.130 --> 00:25:46.613
So, listen, do you do this, do you do that?

00:25:46.613 --> 00:25:46.873
Do you?

00:25:46.873 --> 00:25:49.455
No, okay, we good, let's, let's move forward.

00:25:49.455 --> 00:25:53.361
And he's like, yeah, I would walk away from you and tell the other dudes don't talk to her, she crazy.

00:25:53.361 --> 00:26:19.847
And I said it's probably a lot of y''t be that crass, but you know it's you know, yeah, just don't put your hand in my plate.

00:26:19.867 --> 00:26:20.569
No, and I'm not.

00:26:20.569 --> 00:26:21.731
Don't get anything right?

00:26:21.792 --> 00:26:28.115
no, don't touch me hey dating is hard at this age.

00:26:28.115 --> 00:26:29.318
It's dating is hard.

00:26:29.318 --> 00:26:30.000
I don't wish this.

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:35.011
I don't wish being single at this age on anybody it's very hard.

00:26:35.011 --> 00:26:36.976
The dating pool is very small.

00:26:36.976 --> 00:26:41.307
The um well one.

00:26:41.307 --> 00:26:44.094
A lot of people are married, whether they are married.

00:26:44.114 --> 00:26:47.490
You're not, you know happy or not you're, they're married at our age.

00:26:47.490 --> 00:27:00.667
Um, a lot of us that are single, like you said, a lot of people haven't done the work on themselves or are still carrying things from past relationships and and and things like that.

00:27:00.667 --> 00:27:06.198
Um, and it's hard meeting people now, um one, I don't know.

00:27:06.198 --> 00:27:10.715
For me, I think I've become a little bit of a recluse sometimes.

00:27:10.715 --> 00:27:18.282
I think, like you, we have our circle of friends and you just kind of roll in that circle, so you don't, you don't go to beat, we don't.

00:27:18.282 --> 00:27:22.964
It's harder to meet people, I think, unless you're doing something virtually and online or what they say.

00:27:22.964 --> 00:27:25.651
You got to get out in these streets, but I'm, you're in your 50s.

00:27:26.432 --> 00:27:27.695
I'll be in the streets, baby.

00:27:27.695 --> 00:27:28.576
I mean you do.

00:27:28.576 --> 00:27:36.606
I'll go to a bar and it'll be with girlfriends where we're like let's meet up and have a drink, and yeah, I get to drink.

00:27:36.626 --> 00:27:37.409
I'm chatty, kathy.

00:27:37.409 --> 00:27:38.851
Baby, I'm very social.

00:27:38.851 --> 00:27:39.771
I know you are.

00:27:39.852 --> 00:27:41.855
Hey, it's your food, good sir.

00:27:41.855 --> 00:27:51.230
Yeah, yeah, um, so yeah I, I, but even with going out, I.

00:27:51.230 --> 00:27:56.343
I went to an event last night and the men just sit there and stare.

00:27:56.522 --> 00:27:57.625
Yeah, it's, that's what I'm saying.

00:27:57.625 --> 00:27:59.871
It's different, it's different.

00:27:59.871 --> 00:28:17.313
Men used to approach men used to send drinks or um, some of them, that's a few, but it's it's far and few between, yeah, few farm, it's far and few between um, and then I always love like we danced back then.

00:28:17.313 --> 00:28:20.046
That's why I want to go to ellery's okay, we're gonna have to get you.

00:28:20.066 --> 00:28:21.871
I tried to go last night we got got there too late.

00:28:22.070 --> 00:28:23.935
We're going to have to get you over there girl.

00:28:23.935 --> 00:28:33.671
But I love to, but it wasn't just one place that you would go you could go People dance, even when you go to parties and events and stuff.

00:28:33.671 --> 00:28:39.675
It's a lot of standing around, not the grown folks.

00:28:39.765 --> 00:28:44.051
Because even the event last night they was out there jooking, it's just not the same.

00:28:49.125 --> 00:28:49.626
But you have to go.

00:28:49.626 --> 00:28:52.737
You would have to be in a, in a space where it is people our age, yeah, yeah, our age, our age.

00:28:52.737 --> 00:28:54.643
But it's let's talk about this age thing um with dating.

00:28:54.643 --> 00:28:56.006
Have you dated younger?

00:28:56.006 --> 00:29:00.913
Yeah, younger men, yeah, because it seems like now younger.

00:29:00.913 --> 00:29:12.999
The last relationship I was in, he was four years younger that's still same to me, that's he's still in the he in the range oh, no, younger, my nerves too bad.

00:29:14.429 --> 00:29:17.881
I just know I had a 39 piece and that still had my nerves.

00:29:17.881 --> 00:29:19.023
I said, oh, you 39?

00:29:19.023 --> 00:29:23.574
Oh, I just felt like I was just just doing something so wrong.

00:29:23.574 --> 00:29:24.997
I just I don't know.

00:29:25.238 --> 00:29:28.931
No, it's, it's, it's weird, it is, it's a little it feels.

00:29:29.372 --> 00:29:36.414
It feels unnatural sometimes well, and then you're going to have to have your stuff together.

00:29:36.414 --> 00:29:49.289
Yeah, like I ain't trying to be be funny, because I don't want you to feel like I'm no sugar mama and I just no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:29:49.289 --> 00:29:50.773
I just, I don't know.

00:29:50.773 --> 00:30:05.634
I've always had this thing that you, you could maybe fuck around with somebody younger than you, but I don't know that I would necessarily marry, because in my mind I'm always thinking that as a woman, you're going to get older and our bodies are going to change and this man is still going to be younger.

00:30:06.036 --> 00:30:14.015
And he's going to want you to try to keep up with him and you're like I can't keep up, and then he's like well, I'm going to go find something younger that can.

00:30:14.015 --> 00:30:30.587
And I just always, because I just know men, and nine times out of 10, they just go find something younger and they may not lead a woman or whatever.

00:30:30.587 --> 00:30:32.453
But she's like I don't feel like it tonight, or I'm, I'm going through menopausal symptoms.

00:30:32.473 --> 00:30:35.964
I always different and I just he gonna go get something younger and to mess with, so and that's why I was like I can't, I don't want to with them, no, but then you.

00:30:36.125 --> 00:30:40.613
But then we also have the opposite with men.

00:30:40.613 --> 00:30:44.900
Our age, yeah, that don't stop them from wanting something younger.

00:30:46.385 --> 00:30:48.133
I don't know what you're doing with it.

00:30:48.845 --> 00:30:50.251
It don't matter what they're doing with it.

00:30:51.288 --> 00:30:53.866
If they want it, they want it Y'all.

00:30:53.866 --> 00:30:58.433
You on the struggle bus, sir, and you want to run out and try to and you can't.

00:30:58.433 --> 00:31:00.833
Yeah, it's so.

00:31:02.227 --> 00:31:03.853
So do you still believe in soulmates?

00:31:08.765 --> 00:31:10.407
I do, I do with all my heart and with all my soul.

00:31:10.407 --> 00:31:12.692
And wherever you are soulmate, so you haven't met him yet.

00:31:12.692 --> 00:31:22.836
I couldn't have, because I'd be with him and be happy and just in love and marry, and I wouldn't be looking for a deaf buddy.

00:31:22.836 --> 00:31:26.307
I'd have my deaf buddy, my deaf buddy would be here.

00:31:26.688 --> 00:31:27.869
He would be here.

00:31:27.869 --> 00:31:29.153
So what?

00:31:29.153 --> 00:31:32.618
What would you hope people or want people to know about you?

00:31:32.618 --> 00:31:43.871
Um, that I'm the timeless and unfiltered audience that I am a very approachable person.

00:31:44.751 --> 00:31:53.496
I'm not stuck up, I'm not mean, because, contrary to people look at me, I've had women just look at me like I don't like her.

00:31:53.496 --> 00:31:58.818
I get that every day Like why, and then it'll take someone else, like have you talked to her?

00:31:58.818 --> 00:32:01.381
Like she's like the coolest person.

00:32:01.381 --> 00:32:05.742
But I just I hate that people look at me and judge me like that and I'm like, I'm so not.

00:32:07.665 --> 00:32:08.227
Now, why do you?

00:32:08.227 --> 00:32:10.171
Why do you think that is that they look at me like that?

00:32:10.171 --> 00:32:10.531
Why do you?

00:32:10.531 --> 00:32:12.395
Why do you think people have that perception?

00:32:12.395 --> 00:32:13.077
I don't know.

00:32:13.605 --> 00:32:22.458
I think, because I don't walk around smiling all the time and that's why I said you expect me to walk around, and every day, all day.

00:32:22.458 --> 00:32:27.953
I'm not going gonna do that because at the end of the day, I do have a life.

00:32:27.953 --> 00:32:28.836
I'm a single parent with three kids.

00:32:28.836 --> 00:32:33.796
That stressing me out, you know they're, they're grown, they live on their own, but they have their things.

00:32:33.796 --> 00:32:34.720
I'm still mama.

00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:45.236
I still have to walk them through things, mentally, emotionally, financially, and I get drained at times, and then I'm still trying to pursue my aspirations and do things, and you know.

00:32:45.236 --> 00:32:56.165
And then I'm there for my friends if my friends need anything, and then if I'm in a relationship, I'm trying to take care of my partner or whatever, and so a bitch be tired a lot of times Sound like you're being a woman.

00:32:57.067 --> 00:32:58.310
Yeah, yeah.

00:32:58.310 --> 00:33:08.921
So I'm not walking around just smiling all the time, but I'm just, maybe I guess I walk around with a resting bitch face until someone says it like hey, hey, girl, and then just, it's just.

00:33:08.921 --> 00:33:12.770
But I just, I have a lot on my mind all the time my life.

00:33:12.770 --> 00:33:19.371
So you think it shows, it does the stress shows, and I think that might be why people deem me unapproachable.

00:33:19.371 --> 00:33:21.214
But I'm not.

00:33:21.214 --> 00:33:22.057
How are we gonna release?

00:33:22.096 --> 00:33:22.678
some stress.

00:33:22.678 --> 00:33:24.329
How do we relieve stress?

00:33:24.329 --> 00:33:32.856
What's your stress reliever, other than that it's in a box under my bed?

00:33:32.856 --> 00:33:38.195
Well, that still don't stop you from having a resting bitch face.

00:33:38.195 --> 00:33:41.248
So what, I'll be happy I'll be happy.

00:33:41.248 --> 00:33:47.699
Afterward like, oh shit I can start anew start anew you're so crazy happy.

00:33:47.739 --> 00:33:49.568
But, um girl, you're so crazy.

00:33:49.568 --> 00:33:53.156
Stress really it's bad, because it shouldn't be a stress reliever.

00:33:53.156 --> 00:34:10.278
But shopping, when I feel bad, if I'm doing a bunch of stuff for everybody and I'm overwhelmed like I mean go look for some sales and even if it's just one little thing, I buy myself it just, and when it comes in the mail I'm like I feel it's like my dopamine.

00:34:10.298 --> 00:34:11.219
Shopping, shopping.

00:34:11.219 --> 00:34:13.208
Yeah, that's my stress reliever.

00:34:13.208 --> 00:34:18.735
Okay, all right, come on, give me three words to describe who Stephanie.

00:34:19.625 --> 00:34:26.557
Give me three words A mama, a creative and a hopeless romantic.

00:34:28.766 --> 00:34:30.112
You are a hopeless romantic.

00:34:30.112 --> 00:34:33.036
I love, love, buy me love.

00:34:33.905 --> 00:34:36.313
It is bad because I got people that love the shit out of me.

00:34:37.164 --> 00:34:45.434
Well, it has to be mutual, it has to be mutual, it has to be mutual, and especially at this stage of life, I think you have to.

00:34:45.434 --> 00:34:50.797
You got to find someone that not loving isn't enough.

00:34:50.797 --> 00:34:54.206
It can't just be love we gotta, we gotta like each other.

00:34:54.407 --> 00:34:58.157
Yeah, we gotta have stuff in common, because I want to ride this life out.

00:34:58.157 --> 00:34:59.407
It's.

00:34:59.407 --> 00:35:00.150
It's simple.

00:35:00.150 --> 00:35:03.039
I just want to travel, eating.

00:35:03.039 --> 00:35:03.840
We can gain weight.

00:35:03.840 --> 00:35:05.565
We ain't judging each other, we just gonna.

00:35:05.565 --> 00:35:09.134
We gonna baby, we gonna start walking, so keep these hearts up.

00:35:09.134 --> 00:35:24.818
We gonna still be healthy, but I don't want anybody judging me on me aging, and that's why I find a lot of men start judging women after a while, and it's like no hold on man, we all aging and we're all gonna go through stuff, so I just just listened.

00:35:24.818 --> 00:35:33.057
We could, though, or you do too much, or and I'm like Lord I just ain't everybody's cup of tea, evidently.

00:35:33.057 --> 00:35:37.869
Um so, alignment versus attachment.

00:35:38.530 --> 00:35:56.396
I like that alignment versus attachment yeah, because I got more summers behind me than I do ahead, so I just want to ride it out happy and creatively and as a mama girl, you know you're crazy.

00:35:57.117 --> 00:36:15.235
Well, thank you for sitting down and hopefully we kind of gave our our listeners a little bit of insight as to this lady you are, you know because when we're all four sitting on the couch, you know the conversation, you know we have to make sure the conversation is being spread and sometimes, you know we miss out.

00:36:15.235 --> 00:36:16.489
Yeah, you miss out on who's.

00:36:16.489 --> 00:36:17.853
Who's that, that person?

00:36:17.853 --> 00:36:27.782
So thanks for sitting down and taking a quick little chat with me on this little episode of timeless and unfiltered who the f is stephanie right, like I was.

00:36:27.802 --> 00:36:28.543
Like well, who the f is?

00:36:28.543 --> 00:36:28.983
Stephanie?

00:36:28.983 --> 00:36:35.967
I'm lecra and we are holding it down spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

00:36:35.967 --> 00:36:37.427
Thanks, stephanie.

00:36:37.427 --> 00:36:47.688
Thanks for watching guys.