May 20, 2025
Growing Up, Life & Love Lessons, and the Power of Self-Love
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Send us a text In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you. 💬 Topics We Cover: Growing up and finding your voice Learning (and unlearning) love Lesso...
In this powerful episode of Timeless & Unfiltered, host Leggra talks with s Stephenye about growing up, navigating life and love lessons, and discovering the power of self-love after 50. If you're looking for inspirational conversations for women over 50, real talk about healing, growth, and self-worth, and the unfiltered truth about midlife transformation, this episode is for you.
💬 Topics We Cover:
Growing up and finding your voice
Learning (and unlearning) love
Lessons life teaches us the hard way
Self-love as a daily practice
Embracing midlife with grace and power
💖 This episode is for every woman who’s ever had to start over, find herself, and love herself fiercely.
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Transcript
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You get to know Stephanie, stephanie, stephanie.
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So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's talk about your childhood.
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What's it like being a military?
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I allow people to love me on their terms and you can't tell someone how to love you, but I want to be loved on my terms.
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The wisdom that we need to go further, because a lot of things that I've been through I've taken lessons from it.
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Like I had to fall and figure it out and get back up.
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Okay, let's go, let's go.
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This is Legra.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie and this is Ivanya.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie and this is Ivanya.
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And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife.
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One laugh at a time, hello, hello, hello, hello.
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Welcome to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered.
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I am Lekra and I am Stephanie, and you may notice there is nobody else on the couch but the two of us.
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We didn't kick them to the curb, we didn't kick them to the curb.
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We wanted to do an episode where you guys kind of get to know us a little bit better, yeah, so we wanted it to feel a little more intimate.
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So today we're gonna have a conversation with stephanie.
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Oh, it's stephanie.
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Stephanie, you and I go way back, but we don't go way back which?
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is funny.
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It's like we go way back, but we don't go way back I'll talk about how I guess how we met, or our relationship, or how do you know, I'm not exactly sure.
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So I I tell people I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew, because I have different friend groups, yes, here in Atlanta.
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And I'm like, yeah, I'm hanging out with my Akron crew and I'm like, wait, who's the Akron crew?
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And the Akron crew was you, kyra and your sister.
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Yes, so I was like that was my Akron crew.
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So I met you guys through Kyra.
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I guess.
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So well, first of all, look we both.
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Well, I guess you can't say exactly, being from Akron Ohio no, but yeah, we went to the same high school for a period of time, were you?
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there when I was there?
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no, okay, I was already gone, yeah but I heard of you and like Kyra because you guys were like yeah, and you guys were like the girl legends like, yeah, they were cold, they were the cold girls, so I had heard of you guys, okay and I would see you all in passing like, oh, that's being an underclassman no, like if there was events that you guys went back to games and stuff oh yeah, we would come home every once in a while.
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Yeah, yeah, so okay because no, you guys were in college y'all left.
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Well, we know we have a connection somewhere and it comes from Akron Ohio.
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We don't know exactly how but then you know years and years later we're both now in Atlanta.
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Yeah, and we both.
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Well, I had lost track of kyra for years, because even after high school she went to school.
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I went to a different school and at one point our schools played each other so we were able to connect again.
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But then of course, we everybody life, life happens, yeah and then we didn't see each other again and I'm not even sure how we connected.
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I'm not even sure how we connected once we got back down here, but I'm glad we did right, and that's what I tell and then you were friends with Kyra, yeah okay, kyra, and and yeah, yeah that's so funny.
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Like you know, it's just full circle now.
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But I tell people, as big as Atlanta is, it's really not that big, it's not.
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It's smaller pockets of people and smaller circles of people.
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So we were going to inevitably, I guess, run across each other's paths some at some point, and it's so funny.
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I remember when I first moved to Atlanta I think I was downtown somewhere and somebody said Hooper.
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I was like because he used to call me that in high school sometime and I was like I know ain't nobody okay, they came, not they're not talking to me and they said it again and I remember turning around.
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I can't remember who it was, but it was somebody I knew from high school and I was like I love that, oh you know I just I was downtown, but anyway, um, somehow we have connected yes, we have again, and you know, between all of our old school concerts oh yeah, we like to go to Our geriatric concerts Because baby people get old oh my goodness Well, I had the blessing of, not too long ago, going to a concert with my son Went to see Cowboy Carter tour with Beyonce and I remember sitting there thinking boy.
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This is really different of how concerts we used to go to.
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Ours were one a lot smaller.
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They weren't Well no, I went to a Janet concert back then.
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Hers was cold like the answer.
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Okay, I'm sorry.
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Janet is somebody else.
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Okay, because Janet is cold.
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Janet is different.
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Janet, beyonce, that's different.
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Okay, yeah, but I remember concerts felt more intimate.
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I guess they Beyonce, that's different.
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But I remember concerts felt more intimate.
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I guess they were you know, and you felt almost connected with the artist, so it was a little more intimate and stuff.
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And I remember sitting in the stadium going, wow, this is so nice.
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And then even the theatrics and the technology and the.
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You know we all had the little bands on.
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I loved how she controlled the environment.
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We had these little bands on and they light up.
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So when she wanted the stadium to be red, all our bands were.
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Our little things was red and when she wanted it white.
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It was white when she wanted it blue, they were blue.
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So when you came in, they put these little thing, gave you these little bands and had the cowboy carter band on it, and you didn't do anything.
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It just lit up when she wanted it to.
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It was amazing, that is so.
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So I was like, oh come on technology, so I was looking at him.
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You know, my, my son was looking at at uh, beyonce, I was looking at everything.
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I was like oh wow, this is wow, this is you know, yeah our concerts were, you know, very simple.
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They just don't stage right there, yeah, and we just right there with that was our concert, but was our concert.
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But yeah, so I know, with your love of music, what I know about Stephanie is Stephanie loves to dance, stephanie loves to sing, stephanie loves music.
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She's always a big, bright, bubbly ball of energy.
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Ball of energy when she comes in the room.
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But we want to get to know, but we want to get to know, we want to get to know, stephanie, stephanie, stephanie.
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So I do know that you were a military kid, yeah, so let's, let's talk about your childhood.
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What's it like being a military?
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we moved around um every couple of years, I think, maybe every two to three years.
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Both of my parents were in the air force, so in the air force, yeah we both move around a lot, but we were primarily based on the West Coast.
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So when I came to Akron, I migrated from the West Coast to Akron and I was different.
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Well, first of all, west Coast to Akron Ohio was a lot, lot and it was literally a culture shock like I had never seen so many black people in my life.
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Oh okay, when I enrolled in high school to where I was like and my grandma also went to John R Bookdale high school, which was a predominantly black high school.
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You went to the blackest of the blackest, and it was such a culture shock to me that I, like mentally, couldn't deal with it, and so my grandmother had to pull me out of school for a minute and then she put me back in and I went and was like, ok, this is, this is, we're going to see how this is.
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And I remember it was a lot to me and when I walked into the cafeteria I had the tray and I was like I'm probably like 60 pounds in a ninth grade.
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I'm really tiny and I'm like and it was two girls that were like, come, come, sit with us and they were upperclassmen okay, and it was Aaliyah Dawson and Heather Maxwell, and they were like little.
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I remember their names, I remember them and they just like took me under their wing because I'm just like I don't know what to do.
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It was just gosh and they were just my friends and just it was great, um, but my vernacular coming I was like such a valley girl and I'm like so you guys like want to hang out?
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I got beat up a lot, oh, oh, that's what.
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I got jumped so much and and it's really up.
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And I'm gonna say it's up because, like I said I was like 60 pounds.
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I was very tiny and it would be the upperclassmen girls.
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It would be like five at a time jumping on me because for whatever reason, some, some boy looked at me or liked me and I didn't understand that either.
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That's how it always happens.
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I'm new, what is and from where I came from in Colorado, I was okay wait a minute how'd you get to Colorado?
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wait a minute.
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That's the west coast.
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I grew up between Arizona, california, colorado okay, okay that little.
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We were just stationed, we moved around, but when I migrated from Colorado to Akron, and then the thing with what you consider a valley girl, it was just my vernacular, I was just more proper, or I was just proper it comes out every once in a while it does, and I hear that people like, oh, there goes that.
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And I'm like, oh my god, it comes out.
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It comes out every once in a while, but I just felt that it was just.
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It was never fair.
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Um, if a boy like me it was.
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That's why I said Akron was like the worst five years of my life, which is so.
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I hate that for you.
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I got beat up so much Like the ninth grade to where my grandmother had to pull me out of John R Buchtel and send me over to Central Howard where it was more diverse.
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Yeah, it was very diverse over there, because I was like Griffin of the Month in the ninth grade Because I was like I strive to maintain my academic level.
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I was just like all the white administrators at John.
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They loved me and I worked in the office.
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They were like, come hang out in the office because they've seen the kids picking on me a lot and they're like she ain't even from here Y'all messing with this little girl.
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And they always had me in the office helping them out just to keep me out of the hallways.
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It was now, jack people up now.
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I loved high school.
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It was um, but I went to central howard and I hung with some people that taught me how to fight.
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So now, now you that, now you, that girl, what.
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I was able to go back to booktube.
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I was like I wish somebody would mess with me at this so you ended up going back to the yeah yeah, okay, I just went 10th grade central howard learned a couple of ones and then I was always fighting in the streets, now you know, outside of, and then I started dancing, hip-hop dancing okay when, I got back to um booked old chastity right was like when I was in the hall.
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She's like you look like you could dance and I was like I don't know, and then I wound up joining a girls group with her.
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So now we're opening up pep assemblies, winning the talent shows.
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We're traveling to, like the what was it sand run the african festival yeah we're dancing.
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So now people know me as, oh, she's a dancer and people really stop kind of messing with me because now I kind of made a name for myself.
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I'm the girl that dance.
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You know we're opening for men at large and laverde and x clan like we're doing like big stuff yeah we was cold.
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We was cold, um, we was cold.
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What happened?
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I got pregnant, you little fast ass.
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And so, the crazy thing about it, I got pregnant.
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I didn't start my menstrual till 17, which was people consider yeah, that's late.
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That is late for and the first time I had sex, I got pregnant.
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Oh, wow, jesus, the first time, the very first time I had, and it wasn't even worth it because we struggled so bad.
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I was like how did that happen?
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Because we struggled so bad.
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But we had literally just went to Boston and performed at an Orchard Park rec center where new addition was discovered.
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And so this scout was there and was like, oh, oh, I want to work with you girls, and he was building a girls group and it was like five of us that went up there to perform, but he only wanted me and Chastity at the time.
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And I was like dog man.
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But he had some other girls and he wanted to combine us into a girls group.
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That's how that usually works, yeah.
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Yeah, and then when we were up there at 2 o'clock in the morning I'm like God, I want some Chinese food and some pizza Didn't dawn on me that I was pregnant.
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I'm doing the backflips and Sammy grow up and performing, doing all the little stuff, and didn't know that my high-end pops was pregnant.
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And then we got back home and I told Chaz I was like you know, I miss my period, and she's like well, let's go to Planned Parenthood.
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And we skipped school that day.
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Oh wow.
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She went with me to Planned Parenthood and I took the pregnancy test and the lady was like, oh, I think you're in the clear and you start wearing protection.
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And I was like, ok, oh, so you came back negative.
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Nothing showed up on the thing.
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It was too soon.
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So, I was like yeah, hall and she's like I need to talk to you.
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So Chassie's like, did you leave something in there?
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And I was like I don't know.
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So they told you you were negative, that you weren't pregnant, and then called you didn't even make it down the hall, it was a faint line that started showing up.
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She was like I said oh my God and my coat, and I walked out, sad like the 90s sitcom challenge, because I was really like on the sitcom and I walked out with my coat and I was looking.
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She said what, why you look like that, I said.
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She said I'm pregnant and chastity, I didn't cry, I didn't do nothing, I was just like oh my god, I'm pregnant.
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Chastity cried.
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She's like you f***ed up the group baby when I tell you that was all that lady was worried about cause she's like this is our chance to blow up.
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And you messed it up.
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And she ran down the street crying and went and talked to me on the bus and I was like so it didn't go anywhere.
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At that point we didn't blow up.
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But that didn't stop the talent and my drive to try to do anything and that's why I wound up in Atlanta, because I would come down here and notice that I was like man, there's a bunch of people that look like me and they're young and they're doing it and they got cars and it's just, you know, I'm going to a club, ain't nobody fighting like it was just all love.
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This is in the 90s, so I'm just like, oh so that's what made you come down, baby?
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As soon as I got out of high school well no, because I started some mess in Akron, my grandma sent me to California.
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You got to go and I was like, so I got sent back to California.
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No, did you have a baby at this time, so you and the baby got sent back to California.
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The port of California.
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My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California.
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And what?
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Deported to California.
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My grandma's like I ain't doing this with her and I got sent to California.
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And what I realize now in hindsight, my dad, I was 19.
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So my dad was 39 and he has a teenager, now a grandchild, and this teenager that was off the chain because now she learned how to fight and she talked messed to dudes and chicks and she's like yeah, yeah, yeah, just just this is you?
00:15:13.503 --> 00:15:14.765
Yeah, I'm assuming, okay.
00:15:15.615 --> 00:15:23.748
I started a whole bunch of mess man, and so now in California it's synonymous for gangs, yeah, Gangs.
00:15:23.748 --> 00:15:26.313
So he like oh, how do I keep this?
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girl, he don't know what to do with you at this point.
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And he just kept trying to keep me locked up in the house.
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Bless his heart and I get it.
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But I was like yeah, I'm not doing this.
00:15:34.264 --> 00:15:41.831
And one day I called a friend down in Atlanta, was like hey, can I come down there for a minute?
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And me and a baby, because this was her niece and she was like girl come on.
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And then, um, one day he went to work, I got it and I actually my second baby daddy.
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He was coming to see me in California and he had sent me money.
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He was like yeah, I'm gonna come check you out or whatever.
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And he sent me money and I used that money to buy a ticket and to come to Atlanta.
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And he done went out to California.
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He like where is she at?
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And my dad like I don't know.
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She left and then he called my grandma and grandma like she in Georgia you do, know, do know you and I just had a conversation before we came on camera and I said, Stephanie, you need to put these stories to music or something, Because what I tell you, my girl got stories, I got stories, you got stories for days.
00:16:26.562 --> 00:16:28.697
My life, my life, it's just so.
00:16:28.697 --> 00:16:32.628
That's how I came to Atlanta and then my goal was.
00:16:32.628 --> 00:16:40.755
Goal was oh, I'm gonna be a rapper and an interior designer, because I went to Akron U for a year for architecture and interior design okay, I was like yeah.
00:16:40.816 --> 00:16:44.791
I'm gonna do interior design and my goal was to get the athletes down here.
00:16:44.791 --> 00:16:49.755
So I was like I know these basketball players and football players they houses don't look like nothing because they're dudes.
00:16:49.755 --> 00:16:58.304
So I was like I'm a network with the athletes and be like, hey, let me decorate your house and in the meantime I'm going to try to be a rapper and blow up.
00:16:58.304 --> 00:17:00.000
And that didn't happen.
00:17:00.000 --> 00:17:05.461
My album is still on the shelf, so, but you did cut an album.
00:17:05.461 --> 00:17:06.565
No, not really.
00:17:06.654 --> 00:17:20.143
I was running around with somebody that said they were putting me on, that was on the label and he had me running around with him and I'm like but I think you just want me to run around, be cute with you.
00:17:20.143 --> 00:17:20.644
And then I did try.
00:17:20.644 --> 00:17:21.867
I still was like dancing.
00:17:21.867 --> 00:17:25.597
I tried out for it to be a background dancer.
00:17:25.597 --> 00:17:33.234
I was a fill-in for Blackstreet and then I tried out to be a Hawks cheerleader and I felt like I was too dark.
00:17:33.679 --> 00:17:35.075
I didn't know all of this about you.
00:17:35.496 --> 00:17:42.362
I think I was too black back in the day in the 90s Because I got through two rounds and they'd be like oh, cut.
00:17:42.522 --> 00:17:45.228
I'm like oh, oh yeah, but that's more.
00:17:45.228 --> 00:17:45.938
I was going to say so.
00:17:45.938 --> 00:17:48.181
You were a cheerleader too, but that's more dancing.
00:17:53.914 --> 00:17:55.018
It's dancing, dancing, like the dancing.
00:17:55.018 --> 00:17:56.000
But I was a cheerleader in um Colorado.
00:17:56.000 --> 00:17:57.566
That was little kid stuff and that's what I was going to say.
00:17:57.566 --> 00:18:00.596
My point is, when I migrated from Colorado and on the west coast, I was still in junior high.
00:18:00.596 --> 00:18:01.258
Okay.
00:18:01.258 --> 00:18:09.801
So to come to Akron and be in high school was like whoa and all the kids were really junior high was part of high school like ninth grade for y'all.
00:18:09.821 --> 00:18:11.163
Yeah, it was like ninth grade and twelfth.
00:18:11.163 --> 00:18:19.325
But um, in on the west coast, ninth grade was still in junior high and high school was 10th, 11th and 12th.
00:18:19.325 --> 00:18:19.705
Yes.
00:18:19.705 --> 00:18:26.738
So I was like, oh, I'm not an upperclassman here, I'm a lower classman and these people are way bigger than the people I'm used to seeing.
00:18:26.758 --> 00:18:42.663
Well, if you were 60 pounds, everybody was bigger than you yeah, I was tiny, oh well, I hate that you have that experience, but part of all of these things and all of these stories is what has grown you to, what is built character yes, and who you are now.
00:18:42.663 --> 00:18:50.558
Well, one of the things I love about, um, just even hearing your story is like here we are now.
00:18:50.558 --> 00:18:51.961
What 50?
00:18:51.961 --> 00:18:55.905
Still have the dream, still striving.
00:18:55.905 --> 00:18:58.068
But not only that, but you're trying to help other people.
00:18:58.068 --> 00:19:02.005
Oh yeah, with theirs, so tell me about.
00:19:02.914 --> 00:19:03.195
The artistry?
00:19:03.195 --> 00:19:05.142
Yeah, tell us about the artistry, the artistry.
00:19:06.174 --> 00:19:07.954
First of all, spell it because people don't spell it wrong.
00:19:08.075 --> 00:19:12.346
It's capital R-T-I-S-T-R-Y.
00:19:12.515 --> 00:19:14.003
Yes, the artistry.
00:19:14.003 --> 00:19:15.452
Yes, okay, take the a out of it.
00:19:15.492 --> 00:19:28.175
Take the a out of it um, and what I tell people is that I moved to atlanta to pursue my dreams of being a star and we didn't have the platforms that they have now with social media and things of that sort.
00:19:28.175 --> 00:19:40.266
I was like I was literally out looking like a fool, dancing everywhere, everywhere and I'm just like yeah, yeah, and I'm like, oh, I just did some stuff, man, it's so.
00:19:40.346 --> 00:19:43.459
I was like this is so different.
00:19:43.459 --> 00:19:57.482
Now it's so different and I just like to provide a platform because I love talented people, I just love the art of, I love how God gives everybody their talents and their spirits and I was like, oh, this is so great and I love watching it so.
00:19:57.482 --> 00:20:00.155
I tell people come out, do your thing.
00:20:00.155 --> 00:20:05.116
And I tell people you know it takes a lot for people to get up here and to do what they do, because you do.
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