Oct. 22, 2025

High Value Looks Different a 50

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Send us a text At 50+, “high value” hits different. It’s not about money, status, or six-packs — it’s about peace, emotional maturity, and consistency. In this episode, we get real about what women truly want at this stage in life: honesty, effort, and energy that feels safe. Because at this age, we’re not building men — we’re building peace. ✨ Watch, laugh, and relate as we unpack love, standards, and what “high value” really means now. #TimelessAndUnfiltered #HighValueMen #WomenOver50 #So...

Send us a text

At 50+, “high value” hits different. It’s not about money, status, or six-packs — it’s about peace, emotional maturity, and consistency. In this episode, we get real about what women truly want at this stage in life: honesty, effort, and energy that feels safe. Because at this age, we’re not building men — we’re building peace.

✨ Watch, laugh, and relate as we unpack love, standards, and what “high value” really means now.

#TimelessAndUnfiltered #HighValueMen #WomenOver50 #SoftLife #GrownWomanEnergy

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🌐 Website: timelessandunfiltered.com

Chapters

00:00 - Setting The Stage: What Is “High Value”

02:35 - Social Media Clips And Gold Digger Pranks

06:20 - Reading The “High-Value” Definitions

10:30 - What Value Means At 25 Versus 55

14:40 - “Pour Into Me”: Intelligence Over Income

22:00 - Partners, Insecurity, And Dimmed Light

28:30 - Beyond Buzzwords: Character And Work

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.080 --> 00:00:04.400
I've been seeing a lot of stuff all summer about high value men, what you bring to the table.

00:00:04.559 --> 00:00:06.639
Always asking women what they bring to the table.

00:00:06.799 --> 00:00:08.800
We never rarely ask men what they bring to the table.

00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:10.800
It's actually more good in the world.

00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:11.359
Yes.

00:00:11.599 --> 00:00:14.480
It's actually more good in the world, period, than bad.

00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:16.559
We just focus on the bad.

00:00:17.359 --> 00:00:19.760
Because it's so bad that that's all we know.

00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:19.920
Yeah.

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And we forget about all the good.

00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:26.000
If I sit here and take care of you, you say when I walk out the door, you can't ask me nothing.

00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:27.760
You can't ask me when you come home.

00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:37.039
I think a lot of single mother homes, a lot of them have never seen healthy relationships.

00:00:37.359 --> 00:00:38.799
And we don't know what that looks like.

00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:43.679
And if you look off, if you look like society, if you go off of society, you you gonna get close.

00:00:43.920 --> 00:00:51.679
I wanted to read y'all first what the dictionary says a high-value man is, and then what the description of a high value woman is and the conditions.

00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:59.280
So a high value man is this is Legra.

00:00:59.840 --> 00:01:05.439
This is Stephanie, this is Cherie, and this is Ivanya.

00:01:09.920 --> 00:01:16.239
And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.959
Hey everybody, this is Legra with Timeless and Unfiltered.

00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:23.840
This is Stephanie.

00:01:23.920 --> 00:01:24.719
This is Sharice.

00:01:24.879 --> 00:01:25.599
This is Ivanya.

00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:29.599
And we are here to spill the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:33.439
All right, ladies, this we're gonna deep dive into some stuff.

00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:36.480
We might as well just jump right in for this season two.

00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:38.159
We talking crap.

00:01:39.760 --> 00:01:48.000
Okay, so all summer I have been hearing about high value men and what women want in this high value man.

00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:50.799
And y'all know I you know I go down the rabbit hole.

00:01:50.879 --> 00:01:54.560
You know, sometime when I'm starting and we start getting texts.

00:01:54.799 --> 00:01:55.280
What is this?

00:01:55.359 --> 00:01:55.680
What is this?

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What else does all that speech?

00:01:58.079 --> 00:02:03.760
What is that stupid stuff be popping up on my phone, which especially the lady that be reading the books.

00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:04.400
Oh, yeah.

00:02:04.719 --> 00:02:05.840
The little children's books.

00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:06.719
Oh, I love that.

00:02:07.200 --> 00:02:08.879
The little children's books, but they nasty.

00:02:09.439 --> 00:02:11.039
That just cracks me up all the time.

00:02:11.280 --> 00:02:14.879
But I've been seeing a lot of stuff all summer by how high value men.

00:02:15.120 --> 00:02:17.520
A lot of stuff about what you bring to the table.

00:02:17.680 --> 00:02:20.560
Like always asking women what they bring to the table.

00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:22.639
We very rarely ask men what they bring to the table.

00:02:23.280 --> 00:02:23.439
Right?

00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:25.759
Women, what they bring to the table.

00:02:25.919 --> 00:02:31.280
And y'all know, like I said, I go down the rabbit hole and I start watching all my little, you know, I love all my little ratchet stuff.

00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:33.840
I don't post it, but I love it.

00:02:34.159 --> 00:02:35.199
That's your guilty pleasure.

00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:36.400
That's my guilty pleasure.

00:02:36.479 --> 00:02:38.479
That's my break where I need to take a break for a minute.

00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:40.080
I just go down the rabbit hole.

00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:46.960
And I'm always watching the episodes with um the gold digger pranks, which is probably one of my favorite.

00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:49.199
But at the same time, it gets on my nerves.

00:02:49.280 --> 00:02:52.319
Like I be rooting for the young girls, like, okay, she's not gonna be a gold digger.

00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:53.439
She's not gonna be a gold digger.

00:02:53.759 --> 00:02:55.199
And they get in the car.

00:02:55.680 --> 00:02:59.759
Well, first of all, they they see a gentleman walks up to him, introduces himself.

00:02:59.919 --> 00:03:01.360
Hi, I'm so-and-so or whatever.

00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:02.400
You look beautiful today.

00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:03.919
Uh are you talking to me?

00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:05.360
I can't believe you're even talking to me.

00:03:05.439 --> 00:03:06.639
And he's like, What are you talking about?

00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:08.159
I just said, hi, how you doing?

00:03:08.240 --> 00:03:10.879
Uh no, you don't look like you, you, you don't have no money.

00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:14.000
You don't look like you did the that's that's the opening hello.

00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:16.000
Do you think that's a skit or is it real?

00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:17.840
No, I'm telling you.

00:03:18.080 --> 00:03:19.840
Because I really don't think so.

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I don't think all of them that terrible.

00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.599
But no, they usually have the, yeah, they have the camera across the street.

00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:29.919
They have a guy usually, and sometimes he'll say, like, because a couple of them get wild.

00:03:30.240 --> 00:03:32.159
And he'll be like, ma'am, you're being recorded.

00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:36.080
Like, there's my and he'll point out the cameraman across the street.

00:03:36.159 --> 00:03:39.680
Like he would have to tell them that anyway, because you can't just post random people.

00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:40.879
Well, you can't interact with that.

00:03:41.039 --> 00:03:42.159
You could get their permission after.

00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:44.479
Well, you don't even have to have their permission.

00:03:45.439 --> 00:03:47.199
No, I don't think, I don't think you have to.

00:03:47.360 --> 00:03:48.159
I'm gonna sue you.

00:03:48.479 --> 00:03:51.520
You walking down the sidewalk and you have like anywhere, everywhere.

00:03:51.759 --> 00:03:53.520
Yeah, you have walking down the sidewalk.

00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:59.840
I introduce myself, I say hello, you tell me how a couple people are like, well, I don't like fat boys, or I don't like this, I don't like that.

00:03:59.919 --> 00:04:00.960
And he'd be like, you know what?

00:04:01.039 --> 00:04:02.319
I'm sorry, you have a good day.

00:04:02.479 --> 00:04:03.520
And she keep walking.

00:04:03.599 --> 00:04:05.039
Uh, first of all, let's start with that.

00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:06.159
She walking.

00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.159
Let's start with that.

00:04:08.400 --> 00:04:14.479
And then secondly, then he goes to his Lamborghini, or he goes to his, you know, whatever car he's driving.

00:04:14.719 --> 00:04:17.680
And you will see them young ladies turn around.

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Sometimes they run, like sprinting back.

00:04:20.879 --> 00:04:23.120
Now he in the car, they tapping on the window.

00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:25.360
And I, it's my guilty pleasure because I love it.

00:04:25.519 --> 00:04:28.879
But sometimes I do, I be sitting there rooting for him, like, come on now.

00:04:28.959 --> 00:04:30.639
We we we not this bad, y'all.

00:04:30.720 --> 00:04:32.319
We really not this bad, but yeah, it's clear.

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Clearly, it's that bad.

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And of course, everybody's like, you know, all of this, you know, and shaking their butt, you know, he'll say, do a 360, and she does a 360.

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I need to get, oh, it's hot out here.

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I need to be able to get in the car.

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Can I get in the car?

00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:47.120
And sometimes he lets them in, sometimes they let him in.

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And it's not just one person, it's several people that do these.

00:04:49.759 --> 00:04:52.800
And they do them like they're in Atlanta, they're in Dallas, they're in Houston.

00:04:52.879 --> 00:04:53.839
They're they're all over the place.

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That's what I said.

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First of all, you're walking.

00:04:58.399 --> 00:04:59.439
You're walking.

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And then um, then they get in the car and he's like, and you know, and he's like, well, you know, I want to get to know you or whatever.

00:05:04.639 --> 00:05:07.279
You know, I like shopping, I like trips.

00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:08.319
Let's go on over here.

00:05:08.480 --> 00:05:10.639
You say, well, where are you where you want to go get something to eat?

00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:12.000
Let's go to Steak 48.

00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:12.480
Oh, wow.

00:05:12.639 --> 00:05:15.120
Let's go to, and he's like, Um, no, okay.

00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:18.480
And some just outright just, you're gonna pay my bills.

00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:18.959
Wow.

00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:23.279
You're not gonna pay my bills, you're not gonna whatever, you're not gonna do this, you're not gonna do that.

00:05:23.439 --> 00:05:26.000
And I'll be sitting there going, he'd be like, Well, what'd you bring to the table?

00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:27.040
I'm pretty.

00:05:27.279 --> 00:05:27.920
Wow.

00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:34.160
I'm pretty, my presence, you know, like literally, like literally.

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That but that's all you're doing.

00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:36.160
It's pretty.

00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:39.199
But I love it's it's one guy, and I'm not gonna say his name.

00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:39.680
But I love it.

00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:41.920
He said, Okay, so you're basically a pretty bum.

00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:42.639
Ooh.

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I love it!

00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:46.639
I love it.

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This is my guilty pleasure.

00:05:48.560 --> 00:05:52.319
So, you know, and and I'm they're always asking, well, what do you bring to the table?

00:05:52.480 --> 00:05:53.360
What do you bring to the table?

00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:59.040
So you always keep hearing about high value men, and you'll hear the women say, you know, they're looking for a high value man.

00:05:59.279 --> 00:06:06.160
But obviously, most of the women, most, because there's some, there's a couple older women walking down the street.

00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:14.079
No, but it's a couple of a few older women walking down the street that they stop and they they still say the same thing.

00:06:14.319 --> 00:06:21.439
So, but my thought was what I thought of that was high value when I was 20 and 30.

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Right.

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Ain't the same high value that I think of at 55.

00:06:25.920 --> 00:06:27.519
Now, this is just this is my thought.

00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:29.839
This is this is very generalization.

00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:36.160
So I wanted to read y'all first what what the uh the dictionary says a high value man.

00:06:36.240 --> 00:06:40.399
Okay, and then uh what the description of a high value woman is.

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A high value.

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So a high value man is a person with strong character, integrity, emotional maturity, and purpose-driven life, who possesses self-control, discipline, and respect for himself as others.

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This concept is subjective, but generally includes traits as ambition, strong worth ethic, ethical behavior, clear values, excellent communication skills, and the ability to build positive relationships.

00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:13.839
The mark of a true high-value man is the ability to generate a six-figure income consistently for at least three years in a row.

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If you make at least$100,000 a year for at least three years, you've ruled out luck and an anomaly.

00:07:19.279 --> 00:07:20.959
So are we high-value women?

00:07:21.199 --> 00:07:21.680
Hello.

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Hello.

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So a high value woman is characterized by her self-worth, her maturity, her confidence, her emotional stability, and commitment to personal growth.

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She possesses strong communication skills, sets healthy boundaries, and expects respectful treatment.

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She is independent, has her own interests and career, and maintains a positive, compassionate outlook on life while also taking responsibility for her actions.

00:07:44.959 --> 00:07:47.600
The definition is uh uh what's the word?

00:07:49.199 --> 00:07:50.160
Misogynistic.

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Hello.

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It is so this whole wow, that's an addictionary.

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Yes, this whole idea of a high value man versus the high value woman.

00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:11.199
But what what's that what's how is your taken aback?

00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:22.720
Like and and and but it's the it's the the contrast in me to in my opinion of what you considered what's considered high value.

00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:29.680
Now for me, high value at 20s, but I I don't know, what what might have been income?

00:08:29.920 --> 00:08:31.680
Because we weren't partly income.

00:08:32.000 --> 00:08:33.679
I wasn't worried about how I never was.

00:08:34.480 --> 00:08:35.120
I never was.

00:08:35.519 --> 00:08:39.519
I just you love me, I love you, and that was cool.

00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:44.399
So I was a different So what's high value what's high value, what's high value to you now?

00:08:44.639 --> 00:08:45.840
What's a high value man to you?

00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:47.600
Somebody that can pour into me.

00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:58.399
Because what I realize is at this age I've been through life, I've raised kids, I've worked, gone through VM Pauls and just started businesses and did all this myself.

00:08:58.559 --> 00:09:02.320
So what can a man bring to me at this age?

00:09:02.559 --> 00:09:03.919
Someone that can pour into me.

00:09:04.159 --> 00:09:08.399
Because I'm a sapioosexual, so I like I need you to teach me something.

00:09:08.480 --> 00:09:09.759
I want to learn from you.

00:09:09.919 --> 00:09:12.000
Like to me, that's high value.

00:09:12.159 --> 00:09:14.879
I don't care how much money you can make and stuff like that.

00:09:15.200 --> 00:09:20.320
Because I know we can combine and do what we gotta do together, but I just I need you to pour into me.

00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:21.759
And that's what I consider.

00:09:22.000 --> 00:09:24.320
What do you need in the pour into you when you say pour into you?

00:09:24.480 --> 00:09:25.600
I need to pour into you.

00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:31.200
Because I I'm I'm turned on by intellectual conversations and banter.

00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:38.399
So if you could talk to me about worldly things, uh, talk to me about politics, teach me something I don't know.

00:09:38.639 --> 00:09:43.200
So my last relationship, most people, you know, might have looked at him like, oh, he was just a regular.

00:09:43.440 --> 00:09:44.960
That man was so smart.

00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:49.039
He was so smart and he poured into me, and I just like, oh my god.

00:09:49.200 --> 00:10:00.159
And so because I like to teach people whatever he taught me, I was, did you know that in the uh if if there was an apocalyptic situation that if you go near the driveway, you can find worms to eat?

00:10:00.240 --> 00:10:02.399
Like it is weird stuff like that.

00:10:02.559 --> 00:10:03.440
Look so dope to me.

00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:09.440
So I'm teaching people I can live on worms, like, but you gotta be next to the semen, that's where they are.

00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:11.279
Like, I would have never known that.

00:10:11.440 --> 00:10:15.360
Like, yeah, I don't need I don't know if I need to know that right now, but I'm remembering that.

00:10:16.639 --> 00:10:18.159
Y'all get some worms to eat.

00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:20.159
You get your protein, you can live.

00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:23.039
But things like that, that that was such a turn on to me.

00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:24.559
And I'm like, oh my god.

00:10:24.879 --> 00:10:27.120
So I need you to pour into me.

00:10:27.519 --> 00:10:28.159
I'm sorry.

00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:29.519
This story just went home.

00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:31.679
This story just went home.

00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:35.360
So we're that's my pouring into me.

00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:38.000
Just be able to talk to me and teach me something.

00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:39.360
I want to learn.

00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:39.759
Okay.

00:10:40.159 --> 00:10:46.000
I feel like I've always taught everybody, my kids, people, and I'm like, I don't want somebody to TV.

00:10:46.320 --> 00:10:48.159
Like, I I want someone to teach me.

00:10:48.559 --> 00:10:59.759
Well, I'm I'm gonna piggyback off of something you just said because you said, you know, I know the last guy that I dated, everybody thought, you know, what was what was what was the word she just used?

00:10:59.919 --> 00:11:01.919
Everybody thought, you know, he was just a regular guy.

00:11:02.080 --> 00:11:02.320
Yeah.

00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:03.120
Or something.

00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:08.000
Well, I'm gonna tell you from the out from the outside looking in at your relationship.

00:11:09.120 --> 00:11:11.759
I never looked at him as a regular guy.

00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:12.960
I thought he was amazing.

00:11:13.120 --> 00:11:14.720
Hold on, let me let me finish.

00:11:14.960 --> 00:11:16.720
Amazing from the outside looking in.

00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:20.480
I'm not in your relationship, so I don't know the relationship parts of it.

00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:25.120
What I didn't like was not that he was a regular guy.

00:11:25.279 --> 00:11:31.840
What I didn't like was how you shared how you felt with him.

00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:39.679
Like some of the insecurities on his end, yeah.

00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:41.360
But it also affected you.

00:11:41.600 --> 00:11:42.879
Because I had to keep hearing about it.

00:11:43.120 --> 00:11:44.000
See, that's what I'm saying.

00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:45.120
But it affected you.

00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:49.440
So it wasn't that he was a regular guy, but I love a man that worked with his hands.

00:11:49.600 --> 00:11:50.159
Let's start with that.

00:11:50.320 --> 00:11:51.519
I love a man, come fix some shit.

00:11:51.679 --> 00:11:52.480
I love everything he did.

00:11:52.639 --> 00:11:53.919
Hello, come fix some shit.

00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:57.679
Yeah, I still need some shit fixed, but out of respect, I can't call him.

00:11:59.279 --> 00:12:00.559
But you know what I'm saying?

00:12:00.720 --> 00:12:02.080
I still need some shit fixed.

00:12:02.159 --> 00:12:03.919
But I love a man that worked with his hands.

00:12:04.000 --> 00:12:07.440
I've never been about what his job was or what his career was.

00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:09.279
I know you know I love country boy.

00:12:09.360 --> 00:12:10.399
I love a country boy.

00:12:10.559 --> 00:12:12.240
He was a good old country boy or whatever.

00:12:12.399 --> 00:12:16.399
But what I didn't like, and again, this is the outside looking in.

00:12:16.879 --> 00:12:17.919
The outside looking in.

00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:19.279
The outside looking in.

00:12:19.440 --> 00:12:23.600
All I'd look at is how does my friend who are you when you're with him?

00:12:24.000 --> 00:12:25.759
That's the only thing that's ever was important to me.

00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:37.519
Okay, you know how your mama says, you know how when you have you have you're in a relationship with somebody, and you when y'all have a fight, your mama say, Don't tell me.

00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:38.000
Yeah.

00:12:38.399 --> 00:12:46.320
Because when you share certain things about when your relationship is bad, and now y'all back together.

00:12:47.200 --> 00:12:48.399
Right, y'all done moved on.

00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:50.799
Your friends are still in this space.

00:12:51.039 --> 00:13:00.320
So when I say how what I felt was I didn't like some of the things that you shared with your friends of how you felt.

00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:00.559
Yeah.

00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:07.200
Because I don't, of course, I don't want nobody that's gonna make my friend not feel sexy and the bomb and you that bitch, and you know what I'm saying?

00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:08.960
That's that's what makes me like him.

00:13:09.200 --> 00:13:11.600
So it wasn't that he was an ordinary guy.

00:13:12.720 --> 00:13:15.279
It was I don't like how you make my friend feel.

00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:17.440
Now y'all might have moved on.

00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:25.279
He projected that he every time we was out, he just had something to say about how he looked with me.

00:13:25.360 --> 00:13:34.000
And then I was like, God, Jesus, I look you, it's all that matters.

00:13:34.240 --> 00:13:39.679
You know, and I I don't want I'd never like to be in a situation where I have to feel like I have to dim my light.

00:13:40.559 --> 00:13:42.639
And and and you know what I'm saying, just period.

00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:45.200
That person that you're with should make you shine.

00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:50.000
And sometimes I felt like just and this is only based off of our conversations.

00:13:50.080 --> 00:13:55.039
Or when I let me back to your conversations, because we just usually sat and listened.

00:13:56.000 --> 00:13:59.039
I didn't like how you felt you had to dim your shine.

00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:02.480
That's the but it wasn't that I didn't like him.

00:14:02.639 --> 00:14:03.519
Because you're the shit.

00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:04.559
For real, for real.

00:14:04.799 --> 00:14:05.200
Bitch.

00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:06.559
The shit.

00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:11.120
And I didn't like sometimes that you didn't feel that way.

00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:12.639
You know what I'm saying?

00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:15.279
And that's just based off of what you shared with us.

00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:17.600
Wasn't that he was a regular guy.

00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:21.679
So I wanted to clear that up because when you said that, like, I know people thought he was just a regular guy.

00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:23.279
I liked he was a regular guy.

00:14:23.440 --> 00:14:26.799
I didn't like how he made my friend feel, or at least what she shared with me.

00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:35.360
But again, that was his projection, I think, that I always had that that he felt right he would use the word, I feel like the help, I look like the help.

00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:37.679
And I'm like, not at all.

00:14:37.919 --> 00:14:42.240
So that started wearing on me, you know, after a while.

00:14:42.399 --> 00:14:46.320
But I but let me say something, because you know I was sitting over here looking at the couple.

00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:48.159
The Humbrita High Value fear of crap.

00:14:48.559 --> 00:14:59.200
When you look at the term, so first of all, I think we take a lot of things and they just become popular, like narcissists, you know, nobody's a therapist, but now everybody's a therapist.

00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:04.320
Everybody's a narcissist, or this whole high value thing, it's I guess it's the term.

00:15:04.480 --> 00:15:07.679
Hell, I didn't even know what none of this was, but I just started hearing it.

00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:26.559
But when you was reading this, and when I look at this, I think for me from our era, I think from our probably our mothers, um that's what I'm not sure that the term I mean that is what they're using now, a high value man.

00:15:28.480 --> 00:15:31.759
But really, this is just a person with good character.

00:15:32.080 --> 00:15:32.320
Hello.

00:15:32.799 --> 00:15:33.600
Good provider.

00:15:33.679 --> 00:15:38.559
I mean, you threw in a hundred, the only thing that's different is money and a hundred thousand dollars in money.

00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:40.399
Who the hell made that up?

00:15:40.639 --> 00:15:41.039
Money.

00:15:41.279 --> 00:15:46.159
Because now, I will say something, and you and I have talked about this before.

00:15:46.480 --> 00:16:00.240
But when we talk about strong work ethic, self-control, discipline, respect for himself and others, ambitions, isn't that what anybody would want and value, right?

00:16:00.480 --> 00:16:08.639
For me, you would think for me personally, you know, and I have that now, but I need somebody who's intentional.

00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.600
Yes, that I know that they see me.

00:16:12.480 --> 00:16:16.559
We all like right that um the church say amen.

00:16:16.879 --> 00:16:18.080
That will take care of me.

00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:20.720
Yeah, five, ten, twenty dollars, right?

00:16:20.799 --> 00:16:22.879
I'm gonna get 19 and they'll keep the dollar.

00:16:22.960 --> 00:16:26.320
Not that that's how I want it to happen, but my point is, right?

00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:30.080
I think that when I was younger, I don't think I know.

00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:34.480
When I was younger, none of this would have applied to me.

00:16:34.559 --> 00:16:36.240
I couldn't bring this to the table.

00:16:36.399 --> 00:16:47.279
So if somebody had a lot, including the money, the confidence, the emotional maturity, and I'm just being, I'm just being 100 right now.

00:16:48.080 --> 00:16:50.879
I wasn't that girl that could bring it to the table.

00:16:51.039 --> 00:16:51.360
Right.

00:16:51.519 --> 00:16:56.000
So attracting a high value, whatever, I was in my struggle.

00:16:56.320 --> 00:16:57.200
You know what I mean?

00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:10.240
Like I was just in the struggle trying to find somebody to get it, get it on, get the things, the bills paid with me, because I wasn't shown this, taught this, understood this, know this.

00:17:10.559 --> 00:17:25.279
So a lot of times when we look at some of the young girls, they don't have anything to bring to the table, but they looking for let's take everything out because I think that as people, we would want male or female, we want all of the attributes.

00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:34.960
But you looking for the hundred thousand and the this, that, and the third, but you're not bringing, you can't even figure out how to bring it to the table.

00:17:35.039 --> 00:17:35.359
Right.

00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:38.480
And in my transparency, I know I couldn't.

00:17:38.640 --> 00:17:40.160
But all of this is new for me.

00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:45.920
Today, I am those things now, right?

00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:50.880
I I get it, I understand it, not judging anybody for having it or not.

00:17:50.960 --> 00:17:54.720
I think we grow into different spaces.

00:17:55.279 --> 00:18:00.160
But to define this is where a person is and that's where a person is.

00:18:00.319 --> 00:18:05.440
Overall, there's just certain characters and uh characteristics that we just want.

00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:10.799
And there's also things that we have to do to work, because the Lord knows I've done a lot of work.

00:18:11.039 --> 00:18:22.319
We have to do the work to get to those spaces where when we see it, what I did, I attracted it because I I grew.

00:18:22.720 --> 00:18:35.759
I took time down to myself to get therapy, to understand who I am, to understand the things that I didn't have, and and and what I was never taught, and some of these terms.

00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:37.200
It's just like, what in the hell is that?

00:18:37.440 --> 00:18:38.160
What does that mean?

00:18:38.559 --> 00:18:44.319
What I do know without saying high value, I do know that there were certain things that I lacked.

00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:47.440
There was certain so I couldn't call that to me.

00:18:47.839 --> 00:18:51.039
How could I call something to me that I don't even know what it is?

00:18:51.519 --> 00:18:56.480
And it just took sitting by myself, getting to know who I am, what I want.

00:18:56.720 --> 00:19:06.160
And then I just woke up one day and I had it because in some ways I think the I called it to me by doing the work.

00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:13.599
So you know, I just we just make up these things, and then you have all of these.

00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:20.240
And not everybody's called pastors who say, you know, or who was the guy, God bless the soul, but who was the guy who passed.

00:19:20.720 --> 00:19:21.359
Kevin Samuels.

00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:23.119
You know, we were like Kevin Samuels.

00:19:28.480 --> 00:19:40.880
And I I don't really know his story or what was happening, how robust that thing was, and what people said, but what I know is that uh yeah, we have to do the work first.

00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:45.119
I think you no matter where you are, you have to do the work.

00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:55.200
But if you ask me today, when you talk about this high-value man situation, we fit in this category.

00:19:55.359 --> 00:19:55.519
Yeah.

00:19:55.839 --> 00:19:57.359
But we're moved down here.

00:19:57.519 --> 00:19:58.559
Is it because we're women?

00:19:58.720 --> 00:19:58.799
Yeah.

00:19:59.039 --> 00:19:59.279
Hello.

00:20:01.200 --> 00:20:02.640
Hello, hello.

00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:08.799
Because we're not supposed to earn and we're not supposed to take the lead and manage our own lives.

00:20:08.960 --> 00:20:13.680
I think they look to the men to do that, the high-value men.

00:20:13.920 --> 00:20:16.400
But to me, that's just him being a provider.

00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:26.559
What they explained to me is back in the day, you got a dude that was gonna take care of the woman, and I'm gonna leave and do this, and then she keeps she's at home with the kids.

00:20:26.960 --> 00:20:28.240
Because men were providers.

00:20:28.480 --> 00:20:30.799
And and financial providers.

00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:31.359
Yes.

00:20:31.599 --> 00:20:32.319
Let's start with that.

00:20:32.640 --> 00:20:34.799
Yeah, that's that's all that's saying.

00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:36.720
And I guess it's still in that mind.

00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:38.079
Just different times, yeah.

00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.839
Just different different eras, different times, and I think that's just a new term.

00:20:42.079 --> 00:20:46.079
But we talked about that, but then what about men feeling that they have to be needed?

00:20:46.240 --> 00:20:47.039
Has that changed?

00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:48.640
Or do they still feel like they need to be needed now?

00:20:49.119 --> 00:20:54.160
Well, I think I think even from a male men and women, I think you have to feel like you're being needed.

00:20:54.240 --> 00:21:00.880
But a lot of times, I I think in this uh modern society, need is financial.

00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:08.880
So when a woman comes and she don't financially need you for things, like you don't need I don't need you to pay my bills.

00:21:08.960 --> 00:21:10.880
We ain't got I could take you out to eat.

00:21:11.359 --> 00:21:14.960
We I d I planned us a vacation and it's already paid for.

00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:19.680
Like, then it somehow it's translated into financial.

00:21:20.640 --> 00:21:26.480
That but but again, we get back to that traditionally men were providers.

00:21:27.119 --> 00:21:28.400
Women stayed at home.

00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:31.039
We were the we we took care of the home.

00:21:31.440 --> 00:21:35.039
Now, again, we can get into this whole back and forth.

00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:38.000
It was it's pros and cons to both sides of it.

00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:44.319
Because if if we're gonna listen to what society tells us, society tells us men gonna cheat.

00:21:44.480 --> 00:21:44.880
Oh, yeah.

00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:45.839
They do.

00:21:46.480 --> 00:21:47.440
Men gonna cheat.

00:21:47.599 --> 00:21:54.640
So what do you do when a woman who has nothing, who her whole life depends on her husband, because he's the provider.

00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:58.319
That's why you've I think you had a lot of women who stayed because they had no choice.

00:21:58.480 --> 00:22:10.559
Yeah, that's that happens who put up with shit that they had to because they had no choice, because you couldn't, you've never had a job, or you had minimal jobs, or you you have all the children at home, you don't have, you know what I'm saying?

00:22:10.720 --> 00:22:13.920
So there's it's pros and cons to both sides of that.

00:22:14.880 --> 00:22:16.799
It's pros and cons to both sides of that.

00:22:16.960 --> 00:22:20.720
So I think it also depends on how you were you were raised.

00:22:21.039 --> 00:22:25.039
I was raised by a boss.

00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:27.119
That's the only way I can describe her.

00:22:27.279 --> 00:22:28.079
You know what I'm saying?

00:22:28.240 --> 00:22:30.160
I was raised by a boss.

00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.759
You you you need to always have your own.

00:22:34.400 --> 00:22:43.920
I don't care how much he has, I don't care what he has, you are you should always have your own, and you should always take be able to take care of yourself.

00:22:44.240 --> 00:22:50.240
And you should never be left in a situation where you have to put up with anything.

00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:52.480
Now, does that make me less of a nurturer?

00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:55.839
No, does that make me less of my feminine energy?

00:22:56.960 --> 00:22:57.279
Right.

00:22:57.599 --> 00:23:06.799
And and not that you have to have all these walls up, not that you have to have walls up, but I've always been taught to be self-sufficient.

00:23:06.880 --> 00:23:08.880
Now, have I always been self-sufficient?

00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.960
No, I didn't have all that either.

00:23:11.039 --> 00:23:19.519
I like you said, I had to grow into it, I had to learn, you know, and after my divorce, I was I didn't have a thing, you know what I'm saying?

00:23:19.680 --> 00:23:21.440
And trying to build your life back up.

00:23:21.519 --> 00:23:28.319
And I relied on family and I relied on friends to help me get through it, but eventually you gotta get through it.

00:23:28.400 --> 00:23:36.640
You know, you gotta be trying to work towards something, not just saying I'm pretty, right, or not just, you know, I I I I have give you sex.

00:23:36.720 --> 00:23:38.640
I ain't trying to be funny, he give you sex.

00:23:39.599 --> 00:23:40.400
You know what I'm saying?

00:23:40.559 --> 00:23:42.160
Yeah, everybody else giving it away to sex.

00:23:42.319 --> 00:23:43.039
Right, you know what I'm saying?

00:23:43.200 --> 00:23:44.640

High Value Looks Different a 50

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