Transcript
WEBVTT
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You've loved Timeless and Unfiltered to this point, and we can't wait to share more.
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Today, we're giving you the best moments of what we shared thus far Enjoy.
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This is Lagra.
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This is Stephanie.
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This is Cherie and this is Ivanya.
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And this is Evania, and this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife.
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one laugh at a time when I think I've said that before I don't mind approaching somebody, so that may be a part of it too, but I'm not, I'm, I'm just not falling to that.
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I'm not falling into that thing about what Atlanta look like and what the other people women are doing, because I just think that we give the keep center receiver but the other person we will.
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We'll go after another woman and say what she's doing, but we never sit back and look at what the person who's a receiver.
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They're coming up, they gotta come after your man and what is he doing?
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And how did they get his number?
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His number didn't jump in their damn pocket or phone.
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But because we don't want to deal with it, the accountability of holding that MFA responsible.
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We don't want to be responsible for holding him accountable.
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So we go jump on the other person and they got something to do with it.
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Actually, they don't owe me shit.
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They don't owe me anything.
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You owe me something and I'm not coming after you.
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I'm not trying to figure out what you're doing when I don't feel comfortable or safe it's time for me to go.
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It's just that simple atlanta or anywhere else.
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I don't think I've ever, I don't think I don't think I have ever gone through his stuff.
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Yeah because, why, never right, right.
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Well, I'm gonna do call her up and say hey, I found your number in your phone what People do?
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I've never.
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People never see me swear.
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I've never.
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And it's the truth.
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It's like you said.
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People still come up to me oh, you married.
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Yes, are you happy?
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What?
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People are bold.
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They do, do that.
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Yeah, they will ask you, they don't care they don't care.
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But when you're I, I feel like I'm not married either, but I feel like when your relationship is strong, even in dating, if y'all have something as strong as that, you're committed to or you really care about this person, then you really care about their emotions, and that comes with safety.
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That's what feeling safe, feel like Like you're, we're here together and I don't have to worry.
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And the second those feelings come up or something's going on.
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I don't have to do, but that comes with mature conversations with somebody.
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Right.
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So when you're having mature conversations and you're dating or you decide whatever you're going to do, y'all do know, as women, we could be seeing somebody and then after a while we just assume we, they, whatever, and they never even ask us.
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You know, there's a lot of assumptions, but once and I always say we just doing this till we don't, until somebody asks the other person like we gotta have that conversation, we have to have the adult conversation, right, right.
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And then, once you do that, you have to feel secure and safe and be.
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This is what it is, and as an adult, when it's not anymore, then you have to be an adult and let's have a conversation to move this along.
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What are we?
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doing?
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What are we doing?
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People just don't do that.
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It's communication.
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We don't communicate like we should.
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Well, that's why I think friendships to build a friendship first, is the foundation.
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Yes, and I build friendships with everyone that I've dated to where I don't have like real bad breakups.
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They're real amicable and I'm like yeah, this ain't, this ain't working out for me.
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I release you out of love.
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I can see her.
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We just yeah, and so that's when they're well.
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You have abandonment issues because of your past and I'm like, oh friend, you throwing up what's going on?
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like, don't, don't do that and it's not to have abandonment issues.
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I'm just not gonna keep putting up with your shit at the end of the day and I release you.
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I love and I I'm still cool with a lot of my exes.
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I we still have conversations because I just don't have bad breakups.
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I really communicate as an adult, but I like what you said.
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We're just.
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What did you say?
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We're doing this until we're not.
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Until we're not, yeah, until we're not.
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Until we're not, until, we're not, until, we're not, until, we're not.
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Until we're not feel like we're not meshing and this ain't going anywhere.
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Hey, let's have a conversation, and I have adult conversations and they're uncomfortable.
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A lot of times they just sitting there tapping.
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Can't believe you doing me like this, hey.
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I mean me and Anthony have gone through phases where we didn't talk.
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I mean he worked that night, I worked during the day and it would just be Ships passing in the night, just right, and just be like like you said.
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Then you got to be an adult, say okay.
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What's going on now?
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What are we doing?
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Right, Like what?
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What?
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Let's talk.
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So who's usually?
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the bigger person, you or him?
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Who's the bigger person you mean?
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I feel like I'm the one that always has to back down, Because I'm like rawr and Anthony will sit there like Real calm and then you feel crazy Like dang he calm, dang okay, because he's not going to Dang, and it used to be a place where I yelled a lot and then I stopped and looked and I was like he doesn't hear me, okay, okay, I can't hear when you yell yeah.
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Yeah.
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So then I stopped.
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And even my son had a situation where he upset me and I nothing.
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And for days my son was like I'm gonna need you to yell at me, cuss me out something ain't right, something I don't like.
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This I don't like this.
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You not saying that that's like danger, right?
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There right and it would.
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I got to a point now where I'll say you know, the warning is okay, you start running when I say all right now because, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.
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And that drives him crazy.
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And he's like Cheryl, say something to me, what?
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what would you?
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like me to say oh, they hate that.
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I ain't got nothing.
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No, we in trouble.
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I have a question now that we're talking, that we're talking, my wheels are spinning.
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Now, my wheels are spinning, so you know you'll hear therapists or people talk about.
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Well, everybody, the ultimate goal is to get married.
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Right so why, are you with somebody?
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Why are you doing that If y'all don't plan on getting married?
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You see that a lot on TikTok, Instagram and all of that stuff.
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But first of all, I mean, everybody is not looking to get married, but the question is when you're in this dating realm, isn't that something that you think that should be discussed?
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If that's what your ultimate goal is, it's not wasting time, right?
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Yes, that's like I know you want your girl.
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Saying deaf partner is being that.
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You want your deaf buddy.
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Yeah, that's a conversation that you're having, I'm fine yeah, okay, yeah, I was just curious about that yeah, and my current one was like oh, I don't know one give me.
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And I'm like, so okay, we basically gonna do this till it's done till you're not till I'm not yeah, but there's no surprise, yeah, you're gonna be single don't okay yeah, I have those conversations yeah.
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I let them know I'm dating with a purpose and this is my intention.
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What are yours?
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oh, I know okay, whatever exercise you can do, ladies, please, but yeah.
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I haven't had the the sneeze and I can't hold it like I used to.
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Yeah, so if I say, oh, I gotta pee, it can wait just no, it can't let me go and go to the bathroom.
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I'm a camel, I can hold mine forever that's the one, unless you sneeze but and I went to the doctor not told the doctor I feel like I walk around smelling like little pissy.
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So he didn't know he was like I don't know girl.
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Yes, he looks like Prince, he's so little and cute.
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And so when he left the nurse she's a woman of our age, she's like that's because we're not emptying our bladder fully.
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So she said, when you go to the bathroom and pee, she said, because you always have maybe like two or three drops that you didn't get out so she was like you lean forward and squeeze.
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I do that them and see I I didn't know that and she said that's why you'll smell pee.
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And she said because you might have two, two to three little drops left that you didn't get out.
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So she said lean over and squeeze.
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And she said you hear them little things yeah, you do, and then you'll be fine, I was like nobody.
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I never well, I've never heard that.
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Yeah, I do every time that I use the bathroom.
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When I finish, I lean forward yeah, and almost do a kegel exercise and that last little two, three drops come out and be like yep, now I'm done.
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You walk around smelling fresh all day.
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I don't really, but a little random, I have to think, so a little random farts that happen sometimes you say the random farts, okay, nobody told.
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Well, I think part of it is because things you used to be able to eat you can't eat anymore.
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Rated as much like you know, even us, we had lunch earlier today.
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I had to run upstairs and go to the bathroom Like what is my body doing?
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Something.
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I ate said nope, Anything else.
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You wish someone had warned you.
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Just that it's hard to get the weight off after a Sunday, Seriously like I just had no idea.
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I mean, I was had no idea yeah.
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I mean.
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I was always 105 pounds.
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They used to call me olive oil and then one day the weight kept.
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Really I hated it because I always had hips.
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It was a little skinny thing with hips.
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She was slim, fit.
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I had these hips because the kids used to tease me.
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The boys used to tease me, the same boys they loved it.
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You didn't know, I didn't know.
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So I was always 105 pounds, this little old thing, right.
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And then one day you wake up and this weight is here and you can't.
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I mean, I used to.
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I don't know if anybody remembers this.
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This used to be this stuff called weight on.
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Did you used to drink so you could gain?
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weight Like protein.
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It was like a place it was called, so I just.
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I wish you could give it back I know, right.
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Like nobody ever said this is going to happen at a certain age.
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Make sure that you, you know, run or work out or do something.
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You just, I just assumed that I was going to be where I was at.
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You're going to be a hot girl forever.
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You still a hot girl.
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I'm still a hot girl.
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You see her cut her eyes at me.
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I'm still a hot girl.
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You still a hot girl.
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It is harder.
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They don't got these hips, but you know I just wished that somebody would have said you know, this is called a fupa and all of that stuff.
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Like nobody told me any of this.
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Okay, I'm going to steer you a little different direction.
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Look, don't look at us, don't judge us, mo, and it might just be me.
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I know every woman is different, I know, I know every woman's body is different, but you remember when you used to wet the whole bed when did that stop?
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when did that?
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I think it depends on the person, honestly he's still young, he's been on the person messing with the women that still went up the whole bed.
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When did that stop and what happened?
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to it right person?
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Have you?
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Yeah, no, the right person will.
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But if you just looked at me and you went the floor.
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I can't waste it for everybody, but but also, too, if you're not sexually active as often as you used to be.
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They also say, if you don't use it, you lose it, so you know well run straight yes, we say the way we just say the well, well, run straight that is gonna dig a little deeper.
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The last time that I did get some and it wasn't all that long ago I had to start a test to see if she still worked.
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I had a hot flash in the middle.
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See, that's what I just said.
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But the funny thing was he felt it oh shit, that he was like what's going on.
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Oh my God.
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He probably loved that hot flash.
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Yeah, because it was warm.
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It made you warmer.
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First of all, it's already warm.
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Thank you it made it warm, but no, it was hot.
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It wasn't warm, it was hot.
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He felt how hot my body got at the time.
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He was kind of inside.
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That's what I mean.
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They were trying to cook a what they liked, that feeling, that's a hot flash.
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She was like oh my God, look at you.
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He felt it, he felt how hot my body instantly went from this to this.
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Yeah, I was burning up and like we had to stop, give me a minute, my temperature come back down.
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But at the time we were in the act and he felt he literally felt it how hot I got internally.
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Trying to make sure this is clean.
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You're definitely a hot girl.
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Trying to make sure this stays on the cleaver.
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That's a hot yes, A hot girl Look at her.
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Now you had the man trying to comment.
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Can I try it out?
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It was more than just a flat no, it was hot.
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So does sex get better than when you get older?
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I think so, I absolutely think so, no inhibitions.
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Yeah, we're not just doing a mister.
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Thing.
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You know the things that you don't know you turn.
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Put your leg up there.
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Grab your ankles.
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No, you're not.
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No, you're not.
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You're not Unfiltered.
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No, I think it does.
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Because, like you, said you know, you've gotten to a point where you know your body, you know what you like, you know what you don't want.
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And to me, I think it is more enjoyable and you can verbalize what you like, what you don't like, the things that when you're younger you don't know, kind of conditioned to just be like.
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Well, whatever they want.
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I don't know.
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I was never like that.
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Sex was never like that for me.
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Well, no, it may not be like that for you.
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What I'm saying is that's what girls are basically taught for the most part, I want to share something with the gang out here.
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Yeah, I have something to share.
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Oh, you done wrote something.
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Yeah, uh-huh.
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Okay, let's see what we got.
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And this looks so old and dated that I printed it out Instead of it on your phone.
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It could have been on my whole phone, but I typed it on the computer in this print.
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I've been in work mode, I've been going crazy at work, so anyway, okay, don't mind my big piece of paper, okay, okay.
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So I said you were something that happened to me.
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A little late, I must say.
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You came with a gush in a uh and I tried to pray you away.
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What the just happened and why is it so bad?
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I told my grandma and she stated girl, let me go get you some pads.
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This is a part of life and what makes you great.
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You're the giver of life.
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And there's much more at stake.
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We have birth nations and created wars.