June 10, 2025

The Relationship With your EX . . . & His Wife

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Send us a text This week, Leggra keeps it all the way real as she breaks down what it’s like to co-parent — not just with her ex-husband, but with his new wife too. Yeah… it gets deep. 👀 How do you navigate that kind of dynamic without drama? 🧠 What does real emotional maturity look like after divorce? 👶🏽 Are the kids really the focus, or is ego still in the way? Leggra opens up about the highs, lows, and hard truths of blended family life — from setting clear boundaries to healing old...

Send us a text

This week, Leggra keeps it all the way real as she breaks down what it’s like to co-parent — not just with her ex-husband, but with his new wife too. Yeah… it gets deep.

👀 How do you navigate that kind of dynamic without drama?
🧠 What does real emotional maturity look like after divorce?
👶🏽 Are the kids really the focus, or is ego still in the way?

Leggra opens up about the highs, lows, and hard truths of blended family life — from setting clear boundaries to healing old wounds and making space for new relationships.

💥 This episode is for anyone who’s co-parenting, thinking about it, or just trying to heal and move different after the breakup. It’s messy, it’s raw, it’s grown-folk talk.

📌 Topics We Cover:

Co-parenting with your ex AND their new partner
Managing emotions when new people step in
Letting go of ego & focusing on the kids
Building a healthy blended family with respect

🗣️ Leggra’s story is proof that peace is possible — but it takes work.

🔔 Subscribe for more unfiltered conversations that hit home.
💬 Drop a comment — could you co-parent with your ex and their new spouse?

#TimelessAndUnfiltered #CoParenting #BlendedFamily #BreakupHealing #PuttingKidsFirst #LifeAfterDivorce #EmotionalGrowth #UrbanPodcast #UnfilteredTalk #LeggraSpeaks

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📸 Instagram: @timelessandunfiltered

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🌐 Website: timelessandunfiltered.com

Chapters

00:00 - Baby Mama Drama and Moving On

05:47 - Progressive Family Relationships After Divorce

10:44 - Extended Family and Grandchildren Dynamics

19:30 - Inviting Ex and New Wife to Jamaica

24:11 - Father-Son Relationship and Adult Bonding

27:47 - Baby Mama Drama and Lingering Emotions

33:25 - Lessons on Co-Parenting Success

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.221 --> 00:00:06.626
For all y'all mothers out there that won't let your children see their father because he got a new girlfriend, that means you have feelings.

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Now don't be wrong.

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Unless that girlfriend is doing something, she ain't got no business or nothing.

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You know what I'm saying.

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But when it's not something that's detrimental to that child sweetheart, go look in the mirror or something you still caught up.

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This is Legra, this is Stephanie, this is Cherie, and this is Legra.

00:00:24.597 --> 00:00:25.419
This is Stephanie.

00:00:25.419 --> 00:00:27.425
This is Cherie.

00:00:28.882 --> 00:00:38.606
And this is Ivanya, and this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife.

00:00:38.606 --> 00:00:41.170
One laugh at a time, uh-oh.

00:00:46.021 --> 00:00:46.923
Timeless and Unfiltered.

00:00:46.923 --> 00:00:48.024
Stephanie One laugh at a time.

00:00:48.024 --> 00:00:49.185
Uh-oh Uh, time is in the filter.

00:00:49.185 --> 00:00:51.890
Stephanie Allegra Sharice when they at, where they at.

00:00:51.911 --> 00:00:53.313
We filling the tea on midlife.

00:00:53.313 --> 00:00:55.415
One laugh at a time.

00:00:55.415 --> 00:00:56.216
I don't know.

00:00:56.216 --> 00:00:57.518
You just a little turn for a minute.

00:00:57.518 --> 00:00:57.799
I want you up.

00:00:57.799 --> 00:01:00.182
Oh look, she got a little bad boots on.

00:01:00.182 --> 00:01:01.805
Well, they ain't even.

00:01:01.805 --> 00:01:03.588
I don't know if I'm saying this is a boot.

00:01:03.588 --> 00:01:05.150
Is it a boot sandal, boot, sandal.

00:01:05.150 --> 00:01:06.091
That's really cute.

00:01:06.091 --> 00:01:06.593
That's cute.

00:01:06.593 --> 00:01:07.995
Boot sandals, boot sandals, baby feet.

00:01:07.995 --> 00:01:09.433
What size shoe is that?

00:01:09.433 --> 00:01:09.677
A six?

00:01:09.677 --> 00:01:11.927
I think I was born a seven.

00:01:11.927 --> 00:01:16.049
I think when I was born I came out with a seven.

00:01:16.049 --> 00:01:18.468
I was like what little baby shoe is that?

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But it is cute.

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It is cute.

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And shit girl.

00:01:20.843 --> 00:01:23.331
Thank you, so you can always buy shoes right, Stephanie?

00:01:23.331 --> 00:01:24.073
I get the sale.

00:01:24.073 --> 00:01:26.239
The display shoes are always on sale, Whatever whatever.

00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:28.447
And that's why I have so many shoes.

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I get all the display shoes for like 20 bucks.

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Oh my God.

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Isn't that nice, I love it Isn't that nice.

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I love it.

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Roll your eyes at her.

00:01:35.587 --> 00:01:38.584
What are we talking about today?

00:01:38.584 --> 00:01:39.465
Y'all what?

00:01:41.147 --> 00:01:43.191
a carryover for one of our episodes.

00:01:43.191 --> 00:01:45.215
I think it was exes.

00:01:47.500 --> 00:01:48.263
I think we were talking about.

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Being progressive in relationships after exes.

00:01:51.140 --> 00:01:52.704
Oh the relationship after the relationship.

00:01:53.367 --> 00:01:55.051
Yes, yes Okay.

00:01:55.641 --> 00:01:57.655
Yeah, and I think how we got to it.

00:01:57.655 --> 00:02:00.828
That was a good way to put it no, no, the relationship after the relationship.

00:02:01.219 --> 00:02:08.349
Yeah, and I think we got to it because you had said that your ex-husband was coming on oh yeah, we're going to jamaica.

00:02:08.469 --> 00:02:13.925
We're going to be filming in jamaica on location while we're on our trip to jamaica when is that?

00:02:13.966 --> 00:02:16.471
what's the date um june 19th?

00:02:16.491 --> 00:02:20.009
through the 23rd for the southern soul getaway, that is the dj trucker.

00:02:20.009 --> 00:02:20.913
Southern soul getaway.

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We're gonna.

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So we're gonna film the episode while we're there, and, yvonneonne, you'll be there too, so that's going to be great.

00:02:25.210 --> 00:02:28.604
We'll all four be there, yeah, I think that's progressive as hell.

00:02:29.614 --> 00:02:31.485
Yeah, and Stephanie was like, that's progressive.

00:02:33.241 --> 00:02:36.286
And when I realized I can have relationships after relationship.

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I just have to get to a point where I'm not in love with you anymore.

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Once I get past that I'm not in love with you, I can still love and care about you, but I have to get past the being in love with you.

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In order for me to have a relationship with you, like to be cool or do business and stuff, I got to get past being in love with you because it's not going to be the same.

00:02:57.927 --> 00:03:04.022
We can't be friends in love with you.

00:03:04.022 --> 00:03:05.116
Yeah, I don't want to love, be friends still in love.

00:03:05.116 --> 00:03:07.467
That girl crazy yeah.

00:03:07.507 --> 00:03:09.365
I don't want to love you neither and be your friend.

00:03:09.365 --> 00:03:11.729
So we got to get past that.

00:03:11.729 --> 00:03:21.558
But even with kids, I think that's so grown up because once my kids got 18, hey you on your own with your relationship with your dad and other family members.

00:03:21.558 --> 00:03:31.808
I don't have to be that catalyst anymore to keep everything together and just Unless it's grandkids involved, I think that's when you all can come back together.

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The reason why I wanted to really talk about it is because I think this is something that would get a whole lot of comments, to be honest, and I'm going to tell you why.

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So you're having a trip?

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I mean, it's your, you know it's your business.

00:03:47.801 --> 00:03:51.681
It's your business, part of my business, yeah so, and your son is over 18 years old now.

00:03:51.681 --> 00:03:56.731
I'm just saying how people right would talk to me you know just almost 30.

00:03:56.812 --> 00:04:12.006
I'm just in the comments, because I could see a lot of people well, not a lot, but I could see just mix people well, not a lot, but I could see just mixed um comments about it and some people saying, well, what they when they turn 18?

00:04:12.006 --> 00:04:18.084
Right, then you would come out of the mix potentially right, depending on everybody's relationships with different.

00:04:18.084 --> 00:04:19.266
I could see it.

00:04:19.427 --> 00:04:32.805
I mean, you know, I could see people saying if it was a graduation, or something joint, then it would make sense that the parents would be there, although my daughter's getting ready to close on a house and she said her dad was coming and I'm like, why, why?

00:04:32.826 --> 00:04:34.591
But anyway, why Okay?

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So you know.

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So there's just the mix.

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You know what I mean.

00:04:37.910 --> 00:04:40.644
It's just that mixed ideology about Right.

00:04:42.266 --> 00:04:46.675
But I think it depends on what kind of relationship you have with your ex.

00:04:46.675 --> 00:04:52.810
Yeah, you know, for me it's normal.

00:04:52.810 --> 00:05:00.653
It's normal Shout out to my dad and my stepmother and my stepmother.

00:05:00.653 --> 00:05:04.007
They have been together almost 40 years.

00:05:04.007 --> 00:05:04.831
I'm 55.

00:05:04.831 --> 00:05:14.473
They've been together, I think, think since I was 13 years old, um, and I remember when my parents split it was really hard.

00:05:14.473 --> 00:05:19.788
It was hard for me, um, because the conditions that my parents split weren't ideal.

00:05:19.788 --> 00:05:20.790
You know it was.

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It was life shit.

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You know I'm not gonna put all their business out in the street, but it was life shit.

00:05:23.569 --> 00:05:26.422
You know I'm not going to put all their business out in the street, but it was life shit, you know.

00:05:26.422 --> 00:05:34.492
And it wasn't ideal and there was a lot of hurt and, as kids, you know, we always have this conversation about kids' view of what happened.

00:05:34.660 --> 00:05:36.788
And then there's the adult view of what?

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happened, I had the kids' view of what happened, you know, and so I was angry with my dad for a long time and and didn't talk to him for a long time.

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And sports, when I really got into sports, you know, sports brought us back together, Right, you know?

00:05:52.721 --> 00:06:05.375
because she was that girl you know, you see that, you know because, well, sports brought us back together.

00:06:05.375 --> 00:06:08.584
But then you know, we had anytime.

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We had graduations or we had, or it was a party, or you had to pick and choose who you were going to spend the holiday with, and all that kind of stuff.

00:06:16.115 --> 00:06:23.754
It just was, it was a strain on the kids, you know, while y'all are doing whatever, because we can't all be in the same room at the same time.

00:06:23.754 --> 00:06:29.762
And then I remember once we had children, so now there's grandchildren like you just said once, there's grandchildren involved.

00:06:30.322 --> 00:06:34.512
I think that was the turning point in our family At that time.

00:06:34.512 --> 00:06:36.562
My dad and his wife live in Ohio.

00:06:36.562 --> 00:06:38.867
My mom lived in Georgia.

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We were now all in Georgia.

00:06:40.651 --> 00:06:43.125
The grandkids are now down here in Georgia.

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When my dad came to visit, he and his wife stayed at my mother's house At my mother's house, you know why?

00:06:50.781 --> 00:06:56.524
Because we were all at the house, so they got to see the kids, they got to play with the grandkids, all that kind of stuff.

00:06:56.524 --> 00:07:00.346
I think there's issues when there's still feelings involved.

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You know, you know me.

00:07:02.802 --> 00:07:04.064
I always say when I'm done, I'm done.

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When I'm done, you can sit right here, you can sit right here, and I could care less because when I'm done, I'm done.

00:07:12.790 --> 00:07:23.062
So I think that seeing how my mother handled that situation and it just made our family life so much better, so much it made it easier.

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Now, is it perfect?

00:07:24.487 --> 00:07:25.149
It perfect?

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You know they don't have to be best friends, right, but when my mother got sick, guess who was calling on, checking on my mother all the time?

00:07:31.701 --> 00:07:35.851
his wife, his wife was all that time and it makes sure that my mother was good.

00:07:35.851 --> 00:07:38.362
I mean that part, I mean some of that.

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Now I'm just now, I'm talking from a charise perspective.

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That makes sense that your mom and wait a minute your mother and father, your father and your stepmom was married, yes, okay, and they came and stayed with your mom At my mother's house which was his ex-wife.

00:08:00.639 --> 00:08:03.122
They stayed at his ex-wife's house Because we spent.

00:08:03.122 --> 00:08:04.923
We had big Christmases.

00:08:04.923 --> 00:08:08.663
Yeah, yeah because that's where the grandkids are, so the grandkids.

00:08:08.663 --> 00:08:11.882
Or else, if you're gonna stay at the hotel, then what do you come for dinner for?

00:08:11.882 --> 00:08:12.262
An?

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Hour or something, and then, go back to the hotel but we actually spent time together as a family all the time.

00:08:19.843 --> 00:08:29.975
So even when I would, when I was divorced, um my ex-husband and I everything.

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It was always about our son.

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I didn't care what holiday he had him.

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I don't care if he just had him last weekend.

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I don't care what the judge say.

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The schedule is.

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When my son says I want daddy, hey, come get your baby.

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You want him this weekend.

00:08:48.341 --> 00:08:49.565
Yeah, you know, it don't matter if he had him every weekend.

00:08:49.565 --> 00:08:52.010
My mother used to be like he just had him for Thanksgiving.

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He's gonna be gone for Christmas.

00:08:53.163 --> 00:08:54.490
Yeah, he gone for Christmas.

00:08:54.529 --> 00:08:55.936
I got him every day.

00:08:55.956 --> 00:08:58.947
You know who cares if it's Christmas, it's every day.

00:08:58.947 --> 00:09:01.356
You know I pick him up from school every day.

00:09:01.356 --> 00:09:06.652
I got to do this, you do that, so I was never really big on what a set schedule was.

00:09:06.652 --> 00:09:16.190
So now my son is in his 20s and when he turned 18, like you said, you don't have to call me when he got his own phone call your son, you ain't got to call me.

00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:19.001
Hell, that was in high school, you know.

00:09:19.001 --> 00:09:21.931
So we don't talk all the time, but guess what?

00:09:25.700 --> 00:09:26.822
He all the time, but guess what?

00:09:26.863 --> 00:09:28.145
He is still my family, because he is my son's father.

00:09:28.145 --> 00:09:29.447
For me, he's still family.

00:09:29.488 --> 00:09:30.991
He's not my ex-husband, no more.

00:09:33.341 --> 00:09:35.211
He's like my distant cousin.

00:09:35.231 --> 00:09:35.996
You know what I'm saying.

00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:37.546
That's hard for a lot of people.

00:09:37.546 --> 00:09:38.230
It is for a lot of people.

00:09:39.524 --> 00:09:43.188
No judgment, but it's like your son is 18.

00:09:43.188 --> 00:09:44.825
This is your business trip.

00:09:44.825 --> 00:09:53.947
It has nothing to do with him, or nothing, and his dad and his wife and I called and personally invited his dad and his wife to come on vacation.

00:09:53.966 --> 00:10:01.149
That's progressive, because this is the first time, you know, for my dad is going to be there and his wife.

00:10:01.149 --> 00:10:05.086
We're used to seeing them, yeah, but my dad's been sick the last few years.

00:10:05.086 --> 00:10:06.091
He ain't been able to travel.

00:10:06.091 --> 00:10:11.388
My dad is 77 or something, I don't know how many more times he's going to travel.

00:10:11.388 --> 00:10:15.765
You know, just because of age, you know, hell, I might not be here tomorrow.

00:10:16.067 --> 00:10:16.909
You know, who knows?

00:10:17.379 --> 00:10:21.561
You know, and my son is coming, his friends are coming.

00:10:21.561 --> 00:10:23.422
I invited his friends to come with him.

00:10:23.422 --> 00:10:27.563
He's bringing like eight people with him to come and I was like you know what?

00:10:27.583 --> 00:10:29.524
It would have been really cool if your dad was there.

00:10:29.524 --> 00:10:38.308
We ain't got to sit around and chi-chi and stuff all the time, but your dad needs to be there with you and stuff.

00:10:38.308 --> 00:10:39.089
You know what I'm saying.

00:10:39.089 --> 00:10:42.750
So he's going to hang out with his son, then we're going to hang out in Jamaica.

00:10:42.750 --> 00:10:49.053
I have nothing against his ex-wife, my ex-husband my ex-husband is a great guy.

00:10:49.053 --> 00:10:51.975
It just wasn't meant for us to be together.

00:10:52.135 --> 00:11:07.143
It don't take away from him being a great guy and the whole thing with those, with people with relationships like he went that I've never had no beef with her.

00:11:07.143 --> 00:11:11.179
The only, yeah, the only thing I ever asked my son when my son when the two of them first got together, and I asked this about any woman that came into my ex-husband's life.

00:11:11.880 --> 00:11:12.884
How does she?

00:11:12.943 --> 00:11:15.491
treat you when he is not around.

00:11:15.820 --> 00:11:17.707
That's the only question I have ever asked.

00:11:17.707 --> 00:11:19.586
I don't want to know where y'all go.

00:11:19.586 --> 00:11:22.828
Don't come back and give me a play-by-play of all the stuff.

00:11:22.828 --> 00:11:27.780
You did One.

00:11:27.780 --> 00:11:28.202
I know your father.

00:11:28.202 --> 00:11:29.609
I know your father's gonna make sure you are in good hands.

00:11:29.609 --> 00:11:31.035
I, because I know your father, he's gonna make sure you're in good hands.

00:11:31.035 --> 00:11:31.597
He already know I'm crazy.

00:11:31.597 --> 00:11:33.283
He gonna handle crazy folks around you.

00:11:33.283 --> 00:11:42.488
But I also know women you know what I'm saying who will smile and act like they're the best person in the world while your father is there but may do or say crazy money.

00:11:42.508 --> 00:11:46.836
So the only thing I've ever asked my son is how does she treat you when your father's not around?

00:11:46.836 --> 00:11:50.083
And my son said he loved her and I said that's enough for me.

00:11:50.083 --> 00:12:00.191
That's enough for me still progressive as hell it is, it is but, when your relationship is over, and when you're not, when you're done, you're done.

00:12:00.191 --> 00:12:03.205
He's a great guy we never had.

00:12:03.205 --> 00:12:04.508
We never had that.

00:12:04.508 --> 00:12:08.245
Yeah, but I think it goes beyond craziness in our relationship.

00:12:08.265 --> 00:12:10.451
For me it goes, because you said that a couple times.

00:12:10.451 --> 00:12:13.128
So yeah, for me it.

00:12:13.128 --> 00:12:17.059
It don't have anything to do with it being over for charisse, like when it's over.

00:12:17.059 --> 00:12:26.355
For me too, it is over, right, but I I don't even want to say but, because I get along with everybody, to be honest like.

00:12:26.355 --> 00:12:32.615
I've never really had a breakup where I can't talk to somebody, we can't communicate.

00:12:32.615 --> 00:12:33.980
Something's wrong.

00:12:33.980 --> 00:12:36.265
We don't hate each other, you know what I mean.

00:12:36.326 --> 00:12:40.683
It's okay, but at the very beginning you said, oh, we're closing and your dad's gonna be there.

00:12:40.683 --> 00:12:42.047
And you said why?

00:12:43.408 --> 00:12:52.339
right, because I raised her and I'm the one who put everything into you get right, so that's the status of y'all relationship.

00:12:52.418 --> 00:12:54.344
But seeing for me, his dad was there.

00:12:54.344 --> 00:12:56.027
No, I get that all.

00:12:56.027 --> 00:12:57.070
So it's just normal.

00:12:57.129 --> 00:12:59.381
No, no, no, but that's not even where I was going with that.

00:12:59.381 --> 00:13:10.572
What I was, where I was going with that was it don't have anything for me with emotions, whether I'm over somebody or not, it's just that when they're, I mean.

00:13:10.572 --> 00:13:11.894
But everybody's different.

00:13:11.894 --> 00:13:24.692
So for me I was just like but if your son is beyond 18, but you explained it and it makes sense for you why is the stepdad and the wife being, when it has nothing to do with the son?

00:13:24.692 --> 00:13:26.900
So that's what I was trying to get to, but it does for you.

00:13:26.900 --> 00:13:29.773
I mean your analogy and all of that is different.

00:13:29.793 --> 00:13:36.807
So it makes sense All I was saying was this is good, this is just good conversation.

00:13:36.807 --> 00:13:38.731
Yeah, it's differences For people to understand.

00:13:41.025 --> 00:13:43.884
You know, my trips almost become a family vacation sometimes.

00:13:44.024 --> 00:13:55.571
No, no, I know that you know what I'm saying, you know so this is almost like a family vacation I know that's why that's part of his conversation I think it's good conversation yeah that's, that's part of his family I think I don't have a problem with exes.

00:13:55.571 --> 00:14:07.028
I ain't inviting nobody doing all that but, I I don't have a problem with exes, and then sometimes the people I date really do, but I don't, and then that becomes contentious because it's based on the other.

00:14:07.067 --> 00:14:09.743
They may not be comfortable and that's what I was going to say.

00:14:09.743 --> 00:14:39.576
It may be the ex that may not be comfortable, because all my kids over 18 and when their father comes to town he'll come to the house to sit and spend time with the kids, but he has to be on facetime with his girl the whole time, because that's her she don't feel comfortable with him being there with his kids and she probably like why you got to be at the house, because that's her insecurity he really don't have to be at the house, girl, he don't okay hello, these kids has grown, he can take them out and do whatever.

00:14:39.856 --> 00:14:46.714
It was weird to me, like why you want to come over here, but but, but that's their issue.

00:14:46.714 --> 00:14:53.283
Yeah, and that's why I'd rather not even these kids have grown Send for them to come out there and hang out with you.

00:14:53.283 --> 00:14:56.587
You don't have to come here and just be around.

00:14:56.587 --> 00:14:59.005
It's just a little work Because I'm not inviting them to.

00:14:59.005 --> 00:15:03.346
Oh, yeah, you and her come over to the house.

00:15:03.346 --> 00:15:04.327
Yeah, no, yeah, am I weird?

00:15:04.327 --> 00:15:05.530
No, you're not.

00:15:05.530 --> 00:15:06.714
I don't think it's weird.

00:15:06.714 --> 00:15:10.528
She's like why your voice so high?

00:15:10.528 --> 00:15:11.905
Everybody got their thing.

00:15:13.004 --> 00:15:14.479
You know what I think we've always.

00:15:15.750 --> 00:15:16.659
I think we've always.

00:15:16.659 --> 00:15:19.241
Our son was always the center point of everything.

00:15:19.361 --> 00:15:22.426
And that's clearly still what it is He'll probably be 50.

00:15:24.380 --> 00:15:24.942
And he'll be the.

00:15:24.942 --> 00:15:26.389
We were just together last weekend.

00:15:26.389 --> 00:15:29.725
My son is releasing his.

00:15:30.066 --> 00:15:31.701
And he's so cold, he's so cold.

00:15:31.701 --> 00:15:32.706
Well, when this air.

00:15:32.860 --> 00:15:42.668
It'll probably have already been out June 6th, his first single is out, so he has EP release party and you know, his dad and his wife are there.

00:15:45.100 --> 00:15:45.743
Which that's a mouth?

00:15:45.842 --> 00:15:50.580
yeah, that's a thing, but they came and sat and talked with us and when it was time to do the family picture.

00:15:50.580 --> 00:16:00.147
It was me, it was my son and it was his dad and I said yeah, that makes sense, and I said I'm sorry, tap her on the shoulder, tell her come, get in the picture but, it was around him.

00:16:00.147 --> 00:16:04.273
Not right, because but that's the whole thing.

00:16:04.273 --> 00:16:08.346
It's always about my son, so my son is coming on this trip.

00:16:08.405 --> 00:16:09.221
He grown, he is grown.

00:16:09.221 --> 00:16:10.226
He ain't gonna be with his friends.

00:16:10.226 --> 00:16:12.466
He ain't gonna be studs with neither you or his dad.

00:16:12.466 --> 00:16:13.544
He do Trust me.

00:16:13.586 --> 00:16:15.323
He gonna be running them Jamaica streets.

00:16:15.323 --> 00:16:17.080
Now I'm gonna tell you right now he don't stud me.

00:16:17.822 --> 00:16:19.504
He ain going to be with his friends.

00:16:19.504 --> 00:16:21.366
He's going to be with his friends.

00:16:21.626 --> 00:16:24.792
He has a whole different relationship with me than he has with his dad.

00:16:24.812 --> 00:16:26.875
He's going to be with his friends.

00:16:27.380 --> 00:16:32.048
I'm telling you he's going to be with his friends but his dad just realized he drinks.

00:16:32.048 --> 00:16:36.068
Huh, because he would never drink in front of his father.

00:16:36.068 --> 00:16:48.206
Because you know, I don't know what, this father-son thing, the image that he, because Du Bois and I had to sit and have this conversation You're not giving your dad the real you, because I don't know who this fake little child is.

00:16:48.519 --> 00:16:54.764
This little perfect little thing you try to be with your little fly ass mouth and all that kind of stuff, because I know you don't talk to your daddy.

00:16:54.764 --> 00:16:57.951
The way you sit and be trying to talk you know what I'm saying that kind of thing.

00:16:57.951 --> 00:17:04.354
So for me this is a chance for the two of them to really bond.

00:17:04.354 --> 00:17:11.521
It ain't about me, I could care less, they ain't bonding down here they will, but you know what?

00:17:13.596 --> 00:17:14.880
He needs to see him with his friends.

00:17:14.880 --> 00:17:16.575
He needs to see that Negro over there.

00:17:16.575 --> 00:17:17.417
Is he smoking weed?

00:17:17.417 --> 00:17:19.273
I don't know?

00:17:19.273 --> 00:17:27.136
Hello, he was at the EP release party.

00:17:27.136 --> 00:17:33.500
Du Bois got lit at the EP release party, but you don't never get to be around his dad in those kind of environments.

00:17:33.500 --> 00:17:34.756
It's always been just with me.

00:17:34.756 --> 00:17:40.502
So for me it was more important for me that he and his dad had that kind of time together.

00:17:40.502 --> 00:17:42.240
That's your son right there.

00:17:42.240 --> 00:17:47.558
I don't know who this little fake little Negro is over here that's perpetrating like he.

00:17:48.621 --> 00:17:51.953
You know he's a perfect little child, all the time?

00:17:51.953 --> 00:17:55.267
No, that's that negro right there yeah, and that's so.

00:17:55.347 --> 00:17:57.900
It was more important for me, it's it's it's family time.

00:17:57.900 --> 00:17:59.488
Hey, go hang with your dad, do what you do.

00:17:59.488 --> 00:18:04.417
He gonna be with his friends, of course, of course, but go spend time with your dad and whatever.

00:18:04.417 --> 00:18:17.592
And then, as far as me and my ex-husband and his wife, we have conversations, but it's all you can.

00:18:17.592 --> 00:18:22.742
To me, it's it's um, it's always been nice, it's always been pleasant, but we, we've never really talked, if that makes sense.

00:18:22.742 --> 00:18:25.297
And not to say that we have to, you know what I'm saying.

00:18:25.297 --> 00:18:27.644
Not to say that we have to, but guess what?

00:18:27.644 --> 00:18:29.330
Our son has a lot of stuff going on.

00:18:29.330 --> 00:18:31.813
We're going to be in a lot of the same spaces together.

00:18:32.395 --> 00:18:37.598
Yeah, absolutely, and it don't need to be that way, and that's fine, and that's understandable.

00:18:38.131 --> 00:18:39.135
All of that makes sense.

00:18:39.410 --> 00:18:42.753
Yeah, I'm just stuck on the picnic.

00:18:42.814 --> 00:18:44.019
It still don't make sense to me.

00:18:48.650 --> 00:18:49.854
I was like is he performing down there?

00:18:49.854 --> 00:18:51.637
Is that why the dad and I'm like that's so progressive of you girls?

00:18:51.657 --> 00:18:55.960
for us, because we always just that's all.

00:18:56.240 --> 00:18:59.951
Yeah, that's the only thing that's ever been important to me was his relationship with his dad.

00:18:59.951 --> 00:19:02.459
Yeah, and there's probably a lot of people that like you.

00:19:02.519 --> 00:19:03.442
Yeah, it's not about me.

00:19:03.589 --> 00:19:07.837
Yeah, it's not about me well, I was just interested in what people comments.

00:19:08.680 --> 00:19:10.122
I don't care what none of y'all say.

00:19:10.122 --> 00:19:12.972
I know you don't.

00:19:12.972 --> 00:19:13.775
No, y'all say a lot.

00:19:17.355 --> 00:19:19.798
But like and subscribe and do all the stuff.

00:19:19.990 --> 00:19:20.512
You know what?

00:19:20.512 --> 00:19:21.195
But that's the thing.

00:19:21.195 --> 00:19:22.378
What did you say?

00:19:22.378 --> 00:19:23.670
I don't live by nobody's rules.

00:19:23.891 --> 00:19:26.573
No, no, no, I don't live by anybody's rules.

00:19:26.692 --> 00:19:29.369
This works for my family, nobody's.

00:19:29.390 --> 00:19:29.611
No, no, no, no.

00:19:29.611 --> 00:19:30.311
I don't live by anybody's rules.

00:19:30.311 --> 00:19:31.153
This works for my family.

00:19:31.153 --> 00:19:31.494
Yeah, my family.

00:19:31.494 --> 00:19:31.976
He's the only child.

00:19:31.996 --> 00:19:36.712
Right, he's the only child, and I'm not trying to be funny, I'm watching them too because, guess what?

00:19:36.712 --> 00:19:38.200
I was just diagnosed with cancer.

00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:40.007
I wasn't sure I was gonna be here.

00:19:40.007 --> 00:19:41.392
Who gonna be who gonna?

00:19:41.392 --> 00:19:44.097
Who gonna be with my son when I'm gone?

00:19:44.097 --> 00:19:46.750
I want to know who gonna be around my baby too.

00:19:46.750 --> 00:19:48.054
I don't care if he's 50.

00:19:48.054 --> 00:19:50.198
He ain't learned everything.

00:19:50.198 --> 00:19:51.921
Hell, our kids.

00:19:51.921 --> 00:19:53.123
Now they're adults right.

00:19:54.890 --> 00:19:56.696
We still hand-holding our kids right now.

00:19:56.696 --> 00:19:58.636
If I was up and out of here.

00:19:58.717 --> 00:19:59.570
guess who's going to be around?

00:19:59.570 --> 00:20:03.321
My son all the time, him and his wife Period.

00:20:03.321 --> 00:20:05.750
We family y'all, whether we like it or not.

00:20:06.451 --> 00:20:08.173
No, this was really a good subject.

00:20:08.173 --> 00:20:24.805
I mean, it really is a good subject because people really because people don't get it and they don't see it and it's just like the insecurities of others A lot of times just make it so difficult.

00:20:26.490 --> 00:20:26.912
I don't know.

00:20:26.912 --> 00:20:29.160
A lot of times you have that bitter ex-wife or whatever.

00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:30.994
I don't know what she thinks of me.

00:20:30.994 --> 00:20:36.496
You know what I'm saying and I'm not no disrespect, I really don't care.

00:20:36.496 --> 00:20:40.315
I don't know what he thinks of me, I really don't care.

00:20:40.315 --> 00:20:45.932
What I care about is your relationship with your son Period.

00:20:45.932 --> 00:20:51.833
And even though he isn't an adult, he's been around me 90% of his life.

00:20:51.833 --> 00:20:53.955
90% of his life.

00:20:53.955 --> 00:21:00.566
He act like me, he got a mouth like me, all those kinds of things.

00:21:00.650 --> 00:21:04.560
There are certain there are certain now he's hitting a stage in his life, especially now.

00:21:04.560 --> 00:21:11.362
You always say you know you having that male influence around when they're kids, but he's in a stage in his life right now too.

00:21:11.362 --> 00:21:13.511
Even some of the discussions we have, obviously they're going.

00:21:13.511 --> 00:21:23.032
God, I wish your daddy was here, because this is show a daddy conversation like you know what I'm saying like, but he feels more comfortable in having some of those conversations with me because he's around me all

00:21:23.053 --> 00:21:31.548
the time yeah, you, you and your dad need to spend a little more time together, or something like there you go, there you go, and then it's in a relaxed environment.

00:21:31.548 --> 00:21:34.053
Is we going to be turning up and having fun.

00:21:34.053 --> 00:21:37.140
I loved his wife came over and said what you drinking?

00:21:37.140 --> 00:21:39.330
Because his father's a pastor now.

00:21:39.330 --> 00:21:40.894
Now, he wasn't a pastor when I was.

00:21:40.894 --> 00:21:44.771
We were together, but he's a pastor now so and he didn't really drink.

00:21:44.771 --> 00:21:46.836
He didn't drink then or whatever hell.

00:21:46.836 --> 00:21:47.377
I was happy.

00:21:47.377 --> 00:21:50.065
She asked me about a cocktail because I was like, okay, turn up, girl.

00:21:50.065 --> 00:21:51.067
You know what I'm saying.

00:21:51.067 --> 00:21:52.653
Like, come on, you can turn it up too.

00:21:52.653 --> 00:21:53.596
You know what I'm saying.

00:21:53.596 --> 00:22:00.728
So it's, but for me it's just, it's just another extension of my family, it's just another extension of my part of your life experience.

00:22:00.748 --> 00:22:14.548
It's that cousin that you see once a year well, I always say, I tell people I I'm a good baby mama because, like my kid's father never had issues, even when, like I, wasn't one of those crazy ones that was going to give him problems.

00:22:14.548 --> 00:22:17.095
Just because, he got with a new girl or anything.

00:22:17.095 --> 00:22:31.031
I didn't bother that man, I just and I was like, yeah, I know I'm like the best baby mama because his lady never had problems I'm not gonna give y'all no problems that, but it comes down to the no emotions like she said when you're?

00:22:31.051 --> 00:22:38.596
done when you're not connected anymore it just doesn't bother you, you're not fazed by it at all.

00:22:38.596 --> 00:22:41.592
Because that's where a lot of baby mama drama come from.

00:22:41.612 --> 00:22:42.777
They still got emotions.

00:22:42.777 --> 00:22:44.355
There's still attachment.

00:22:44.355 --> 00:22:45.358
There's still emotions.

00:22:45.470 --> 00:22:46.534
I don't care who you you with.

00:22:46.534 --> 00:22:49.853
Is she good to my son Right, when he come over there?

00:22:49.853 --> 00:22:50.958
Do he got any problems?

00:22:50.958 --> 00:22:52.434
Is he being fed?

00:22:52.434 --> 00:22:54.635
Is he being talked to like he crazy?

00:22:54.635 --> 00:22:55.900
Is he whatever, whatever?

00:22:55.900 --> 00:22:59.361
Now, the moment that crosses the line, we got issues.

00:22:59.361 --> 00:23:01.333
And when you say cross the line.

00:23:01.373 --> 00:23:16.403
I laugh because my kid's father wound up going to get with a child and she's in between the ages of our daughter and so the girl's clicking with her because they're like, oh, in their 20s or whatever.

00:23:16.403 --> 00:23:24.092
And then I know my she had said something crazy to my son or, and my son like snapped back and then his dad was like, oh, you don't talk to her.

00:23:24.092 --> 00:23:24.913
Like like that.

00:23:24.913 --> 00:23:36.200
And my son's like bro, she's like six years older than me, like she's basically like my sister's age you can't expect us to respect this child woman of yours like you can't.

00:23:36.220 --> 00:23:40.653
We're not going to give her the same respect we give our mom, because she's like our age, like we're just not but the respect is is earned.

00:23:40.673 --> 00:23:48.449
I don't care what age you are, that's the respect is earned, and his ex't care what age you are.

00:23:48.449 --> 00:23:49.190
The respect is earned.

00:23:49.190 --> 00:23:52.480
And his ex-wife earned my respect in the way that she treats my son.

00:23:53.590 --> 00:23:54.114
That's enough of me.

00:23:54.114 --> 00:23:55.420
That's what matters.

00:23:55.549 --> 00:23:57.617
She earned my respect in the way she treats my son.

00:23:57.617 --> 00:23:58.894
That's all that matters to me.

00:23:58.894 --> 00:24:09.752
I don't want it, but when you still want them, no matter how, small when you still got those, you can tell those kind of feelings and attachment.

00:24:09.752 --> 00:24:14.063
That's where the drama comes from yeah, that's where the drama comes from.

00:24:14.063 --> 00:24:17.498
So for me this is and the face time, wanting to face time?

00:24:17.518 --> 00:24:25.103
yeah, because you worry I don't want him girl right, he's not worried about him she's not worried about him spending time with his kids.

00:24:25.123 --> 00:24:27.746
She worried about him spending time with you, yeah, yeah, she's worried about him spending time with you.

00:24:27.746 --> 00:24:35.096
Yeah, with you, because I was the original Dada, baby, mama number one, lord, and there's no telling what he say, what he's saying.

00:24:35.116 --> 00:24:39.182
Right, that's what's like he's projecting his feelings to where you just never know and he may not.

00:24:39.182 --> 00:24:39.885
Some women are just insecure.

00:24:39.905 --> 00:24:40.930
Because we have a great friendship.

00:24:42.832 --> 00:24:44.474
Yeah, you don't have to do anything.

00:24:44.535 --> 00:24:46.298
You don't have to do anything, but just exist.

00:24:46.298 --> 00:24:47.079
Ooh Lord.

00:24:47.079 --> 00:24:48.824

The Relationship With your EX . . . & His Wife

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