Oct. 28, 2025

What Does it Mean to be a HIGH-VALUE Woman?

What Does it Mean to be a HIGH-VALUE Woman?
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What Does it Mean to be a HIGH-VALUE Woman?
What Does it Mean to be a HIGH-VALUE Woman?

Send us a text What does it really mean to be a high value woman? It's about more than just surface-level qualities; it's about being a good woman with genuine care for others. Let's dive into relationship advice and explore how feminine energy and self worth play crucial roles in building strong relationships, as well as what to look for in dating advice. Support the show 💬 Join the conversation! Follow us on social media to see our weekly questions, then leave us a voicemail at timelessandu...

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Season 2

Send us a text

What does it really mean to be a high value woman? It's about more than just surface-level qualities; it's about being a good woman with genuine care for others. Let's dive into relationship advice and explore how feminine energy and self worth play crucial roles in building strong relationships, as well as what to look for in dating advice.

Support the show

💬 Join the conversation! Follow us on social media to see our weekly questions, then leave us a voicemail at timelessandunfiltered.com. Your message might be featured in an upcoming episode! Watch us on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@TimelessandUnfilteredPodcast.

📸 Instagram: @timelessandunfiltered

📘 Facebook: @timelessandunfiltered

🎵 TikTok: @timelessandunfiltered

🌐 Website: timelessandunfiltered.com


Chapters

00:00 - What Makes A High Value Woman

01:26 - Hosts Rejoin And Set The Stage

02:06 - Defining Value Beyond Looks And Money

04:14 - Dependence, Provision, And Control

06:40 - Stereotypes About Women With Money

08:50 - Social Media Narratives And Nuance

12:05 - Love, Self Love, And Safety

15:40 - Peace Over Drama As A Standard

19:40 - Submissive, Leadership, And Safety

24:20 - Thoughtfulness Beats Big Spending

28:15 - Guardedness, Grind, And Openness

34:00 - Long Distance And Financial Freedom

38:20 - From Broken To Blooming

Transcript
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00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.199
What makes you a high value woman?

00:00:01.439 --> 00:00:09.599
Being a good person, I think genuinely being somebody who cares about other people makes you a woman of substance and makes you a good person.

00:00:09.919 --> 00:00:21.359
I feel men think that value means, okay, she looks good, she can carry my kids, our kids gonna look cute and coochie on fire, like she looked good on my arm, we can walk any place, she can switch it up.

00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:22.079
She needs me.

00:00:22.160 --> 00:00:24.559
And I don't think that's what men should be.

00:00:24.640 --> 00:00:26.960
I think that's when you find yourself in trouble, when you look for that woman.

00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:31.839
And then later down the line you find out, oh, when she when you divorced it and she took all your money.

00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:33.600
Well, that's what you brought her in with.

00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:34.719
So what's she gonna take?

00:00:34.960 --> 00:00:38.159
I make the same amount of money and I don't need you, I want you, I don't need you.

00:00:38.399 --> 00:00:43.439
You don't have that power over me anymore to make me say, well, I can't go anywhere, so I have to put up with whatever he's giving me.

00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:50.640
You hear a lot of men say that women with money, that women that have their own, they're too masculine, they mouth, y'all talk too damn much.

00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:56.719
All these negative stereotypes and these negative things because you also have the income.

00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:58.799
But then you're also a gold digger if you don't have the income.

00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:00.640
So I'm like, so what am I like?

00:01:05.680 --> 00:01:07.040
This is Legra.

00:01:07.680 --> 00:01:13.040
This is Stephanie, this is Cherie, and this is Ivania.

00:01:17.680 --> 00:01:24.079
And this is Timeless and Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on midlife one laugh at a time.

00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:30.799
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Timeless and Unfiltered.

00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:34.480
We are spilling the tea on Midlife one lap at a time.

00:01:35.359 --> 00:01:37.040
That's Lebra and I'm Stephanie.

00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:40.480
I was gonna bring everybody in.

00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:42.959
I was trying to take control cut start over.

00:01:44.879 --> 00:01:45.359
We be going.

00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:47.680
This is like Stephanie.

00:01:47.840 --> 00:01:49.519
This is Sharice, and I'm Ivania.

00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:52.400
And this is what happened when you haven't been together for a minute.

00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:52.959
Right.

00:01:53.519 --> 00:01:54.560
Right, right, right.

00:01:54.719 --> 00:02:00.560
Well, I wanted to continue our conversation we had about high value men and high value women, if y'all don't mind.

00:02:00.719 --> 00:02:02.959
Because you know, we could have talked about that forever.

00:02:03.439 --> 00:02:03.680
Forever.

00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:05.120
So we have to break it up.

00:02:05.359 --> 00:02:05.680
Yes.

00:02:06.079 --> 00:02:13.840
And so the question is: if a man's value is based on his provision and leadership, then what makes a woman high value?

00:02:14.639 --> 00:02:15.599
And income, right?

00:02:15.759 --> 00:02:18.400
Wasn't that like a big provision based?

00:02:20.719 --> 00:02:22.159
Now, whose definition are we looking for?

00:02:22.319 --> 00:02:24.800
Our definition or society's definition of a high-valued woman.

00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:28.159
So let's uh the only thing we can do is talk about our own experience.

00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:30.960
So what what's what's what makes you a high value woman?

00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:32.800
Integrity.

00:02:34.400 --> 00:02:37.520
I am able to like I think a woman should be able to provide for herself.

00:02:37.680 --> 00:02:40.560
Now, if you want to help provide for me, I can help provide for you as well.

00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:42.080
I think that should go both ways.

00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:54.479
Um I don't want to bring religion into it, but you have to believe in something bigger than yourself, not just be self-focused, not selfish, um giving and then being able to receive and give equally.

00:02:54.960 --> 00:02:57.759
Um I talked about this in my episode.

00:02:57.919 --> 00:03:07.759
Just being a good person, I think genuinely being somebody who cares about other people makes you a woman of substance and makes you a good person, a person of high value.

00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:16.000
Now I feel men think that value means okay, she looked good, she can carry my kids, our kids are gonna look cute, and you know, she got good too.

00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:23.039
She looked good, got that coochie on fight, like she looked good on my arm, we can walk any place, she can switch it up.

00:03:23.439 --> 00:03:24.159
She needs me.

00:03:24.319 --> 00:03:27.039
And I don't think that's what men should be.

00:03:27.199 --> 00:03:34.319
I think that's when you find yourself in trouble, when you look for that woman, and then later down the line you find out, oh, when she when you're divorced and she took all your money.

00:03:34.479 --> 00:03:36.159
Well, that's what you brought her in with.

00:03:36.240 --> 00:03:37.439
So of course you're gonna take it.

00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:41.199
So or if you lose your job, she ain't able to pick up the pieces.

00:03:41.360 --> 00:03:46.639
A lot of women can't pick up the pieces when they're solely dependent on a man, and then y'all all suddenly looking crazy.

00:03:46.719 --> 00:03:54.800
And I feel like um the dentist guy um out of the guy, he killed himself and his wife and his daughter.

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They have a big mansion, yeah.

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Like maybe two weeks ago.

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Yeah, and the rumor was is that he was the sole provider, and they have a big, beautiful mansion.

00:04:05.439 --> 00:04:08.240
But he had, I guess he gambled a lot or whatever.

00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:12.719
And so he just was underwater and he just decided to take everybody out.

00:04:13.120 --> 00:04:14.240
Look, don't take yourself out.

00:04:16.319 --> 00:04:17.839
Because me and my daughter was having a conversation.

00:04:17.920 --> 00:04:19.120
She's like, Well, why would he do that?

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And I was like, he probably feels like they're all I got, and I wouldn't leave them with all the debt and all the headache and everything.

00:04:25.120 --> 00:04:26.720
So I'm just gonna take everybody.

00:04:27.279 --> 00:04:28.639
Men tend to take everybody.

00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:32.240
I don't think it well, I think women commit suicide.

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We don't take your family.

00:04:33.839 --> 00:04:36.240
I've never heard of a woman doing murder suicide.

00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:37.600
I'm not pretty sure his face.

00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:39.519
What's your what's your your face saying something?

00:04:40.079 --> 00:04:41.439
Oh, my face is saying, what happened?

00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:42.240
Where are we going?

00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:46.000
Well, uh, he was the provider.

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He was the provider.

00:04:47.120 --> 00:04:47.199
Okay.

00:04:47.839 --> 00:04:48.879
Because he was the provider.

00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:51.600
And if they can't do that, then sometimes their whole thing is.

00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:54.000
Persona is like, yeah, that's who they are.

00:04:54.160 --> 00:04:54.319
Yeah.

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Especially when other people, other men look at them as the person that has it all together, and now you don't have anything like that shame.

00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.839
Oh, and the ego.

00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:23.040
Well, what is it what is it when a woman I'm I'm trying to think of the description that we read, the high value man um last week of a high value man, and of course, the all the integrity, all the leadership, all the things, and then it boiled down to money.

00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:31.680
So now that you have as a high value woman and you have the money, does that make your value less?

00:05:32.079 --> 00:05:33.759
It depends on the money.

00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:34.240
Yeah.

00:05:34.639 --> 00:05:35.600
And who's making the definition?

00:05:35.759 --> 00:05:37.759
Because why is that making us less?

00:05:38.000 --> 00:05:41.759
Because we you've also or we've also been able to accomplish.

00:05:42.240 --> 00:05:44.160
Because I think money is power and control.

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If you don't have the most money, if you don't make the most money, then there's no real power you have over me anymore.

00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:52.399
Like you can't say I'm gonna do whatever I want to, you're just gonna take it.

00:05:52.560 --> 00:06:01.839
Like if I make the same amount of money and I don't need you, I want you, if I don't need you, you don't have that power over me anymore to make me say, well, I can't go anywhere, so I have to put up with whatever he's giving me.

00:06:02.079 --> 00:06:07.199
So you you hear a lot of men, and I'm this is these are all generalizations, you guys.

00:06:07.279 --> 00:06:10.399
Yes, everybody's in the disclaimer.

00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:11.600
We get it, yes.

00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:18.720
But you hear a lot of men say that women with money, that women that have their own, they they're they're too masculine.

00:06:19.360 --> 00:06:33.120
Um they mouth, y'all talk too damn much, you you, you know, you you mouthy, you you know, all these negative uh stereotypes and these negative things because you also have the income.

00:06:33.279 --> 00:06:35.279
But then you're also a gold digger if you don't have the income.

00:06:35.519 --> 00:06:36.720
So I'm like, so what am I?

00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:38.480
Like, it's no in between.

00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:40.800
I want your money, I don't need your money.

00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:48.639
But on social, so the level set a little bit because I I know where you're going and I agree with you.

00:06:49.199 --> 00:07:09.920
I do see a lot of younger women on social media talking about they don't need a man because they have all of those things, but it's such a negative connotation in the way they're on social media and talking about it and just doing the most about it, right?

00:07:10.240 --> 00:07:19.040
That it makes it hard for us who genuinely did well for ourselves, right?

00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:32.480
We fit, we we were forced to, but we fit all of those qualifications that a high-value man sit in, including the income, but we're still soft.

00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:36.800
We still we're still feminine, we still want the things.

00:07:37.439 --> 00:07:41.600
Nothing has changed about us other than we put ourselves in a good position.

00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:45.439
But we have another side, right?

00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:51.759
And remember what we talk about is not everybody, but like we must admit social media sits there.

00:07:52.079 --> 00:08:01.519
And when I watch some of the folks sit on there and talk, it's just like, huh, you know, and so it makes it for, you know, some of the folks that's looking at it like, damn.

00:08:01.680 --> 00:08:07.199
And then we get labeled for what other people are out there doing.

00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:21.519
But one of the things that I feel like that society doesn't do anymore is take a person, look at me independently for who I am, what I bring, what what I'm about, what my worth is.

00:08:21.600 --> 00:08:26.079
That we look at, we just put people together just like you look at us, right?

00:08:26.560 --> 00:08:30.639
Mature women who have our stuff together.

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But we're lumped in.

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We're we're yeah, because we're lumped in the well, how what difference do does it make that we got it going on and we're this side?

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Y'all, you're this, you're that.

00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:43.279
So we we you know what I mean?

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We continue to be just be dropped in this category and category of stuff.

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And I feel like not that I really give a shit, but we we're you know, for the most part, when we're talking about us collectively, why do we have to keep pulling ourselves out of this bucket and you have to do that?

00:09:01.919 --> 00:09:05.120
To be placed into another bucket, and then you're put into another bucket.

00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:06.480
It's human behavior.

00:09:06.559 --> 00:09:07.279
Yeah at the end of it.

00:09:07.519 --> 00:09:11.600
It is, but how do we change the terminology?

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Say, I don't need a man, I don't need a man to provide because I can provide, but I need a man, or I need to be a good one.

00:09:17.519 --> 00:09:21.039
No, I need a man, I need a man if I want to say a man, or I need love, I need love.

00:09:21.600 --> 00:09:23.600
I think we all have to survive off of love.

00:09:23.679 --> 00:09:26.399
Like we may not all need a relationship, we all need love to survive.

00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:30.639
Shout out to Bell Hooks, who's passed away, but I just read the book all about love.

00:09:30.960 --> 00:09:31.840
I forgot that book.

00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:32.960
Oh my god, it's life changing.

00:09:33.600 --> 00:09:34.240
I love that book.

00:09:34.399 --> 00:09:35.039
It is life changing.

00:09:36.720 --> 00:09:41.840
And it's not just about romantic love, it's about love in all aspects, but it is so good.

00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:43.200
It is so good.

00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:46.000
And part of what she teaches, we do need love.

00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:48.000
Like as a community and everything.

00:09:48.399 --> 00:09:52.240
We think of it as some fluttery feeling in your stomach and all this stuff, but no, it is.

00:09:52.559 --> 00:09:54.639
It's part of the hierarchy that we learned in school.

00:09:54.799 --> 00:09:56.960
Yes, it is so much deeper than that.

00:09:57.039 --> 00:09:57.759
So we do need love.

00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:04.000
We don't need somebody to provide for us and do all these things that we think society needs, says we need, but we do need love.

00:10:04.080 --> 00:10:05.039
We need to love each other.

00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:06.240
So genuinely love.

00:10:06.480 --> 00:10:12.000
And I think the the biggest thing for me at this stage was I learned self-love.

00:10:12.639 --> 00:10:13.120
Yes.

00:10:13.759 --> 00:10:17.279
Where, and don't be wrong, I always Legra's always been Legra.

00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:24.480
But the insecurities, being unsure of yourself, being unsure of who you are is younger Legra.

00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:31.600
On the outside looking in, she's confident, she's whatever, but she was so uncertain of herself.

00:10:31.840 --> 00:10:36.559
And I think at this stage of my life, I love me.

00:10:38.399 --> 00:10:38.960
Good or bad.

00:10:39.120 --> 00:10:42.720
I mean, I'm not everybody's cup of tea, but I love me.

00:10:42.879 --> 00:10:49.200
And then I think when you operate in that yeah, that's so you don't take a lot of bullshit when you love yourself.

00:10:49.440 --> 00:10:56.720
That real that realm, absolutely, that I love me, but it took me a long time to get here to say I love Legra.

00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:58.399
I love everything about that bitch.

00:10:58.960 --> 00:10:59.679
I love her.

00:11:00.080 --> 00:11:03.279
Now she got some faults, and she is not perfect.

00:11:04.639 --> 00:11:07.840
Right, and she's not perfect, but to love myself.

00:11:08.080 --> 00:11:15.120
And so for me, a high value man, because I'm in a I'm in a place of peace in my life.

00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:18.639
Um, and it took a long time to get there.

00:11:18.960 --> 00:11:30.080
But I'm in a place of peace in my life, and I don't want anything, and that includes friends, family, a man, anything don't disrupt my peace.

00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:34.960
So when I look for a high value man, it's never it's never been money.

00:11:35.039 --> 00:11:37.440
Even when I was in my 20s, it wasn't about money.

00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:39.919
My mama's name was DeLois, just in case she didn't know.

00:11:40.639 --> 00:11:42.480
Delois didn't play about her daughters.

00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:43.279
She didn't.

00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:45.120
Y'all gonna be independent.

00:11:45.600 --> 00:11:52.240
Not and my mother always had an okay, but she always had her her grind on.

00:11:52.559 --> 00:11:55.120
She was always trying to do something.

00:11:55.279 --> 00:11:59.919
She was always pulling, I hate to say it, she was always pulling her men up.

00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:01.360
You know what I'm saying?

00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:15.759
She was the woman in the background, but that same boss heifers sat on the side of the bathtub and scrubbed her man's hands and feet every day because he he worked in a he owned an auto shop, so he had to grease and stuff.

00:12:15.919 --> 00:12:18.000
So she sat and buffed his hands every day.

00:12:18.240 --> 00:12:20.240
She his dinner was still on the table.

00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:22.559
And when it what dinner wasn't on the table, guess what?

00:12:22.639 --> 00:12:23.360
Sometimes he cooked.

00:12:23.840 --> 00:12:25.519
Because she worked, she was working.

00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:35.519
Uh things.

00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:42.879
You know, so I've always seen that, and she's always raised us to be independent.

00:12:42.960 --> 00:12:47.519
But at the same time, I also feel like that's been to your detriment.

00:12:47.759 --> 00:12:48.000
Right.

00:12:48.159 --> 00:12:53.120
If you ask anybody that's ever dated me what was the best thing about me, they'll say I was independent.

00:12:53.840 --> 00:12:56.559
If you ask them what was the worst thing about me, they'll say I was independent.

00:12:56.960 --> 00:12:59.200
How do you think that plays into this role of being submissive?

00:12:59.279 --> 00:13:00.960
Because I think that should be on both sides.

00:13:01.679 --> 00:13:08.240
Should be men and women, and I think sometimes women, I think men feel that we're not able to be submissive and they want a submissive woman.

00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:12.480
And the definition of submissive is very important in each relationship because it could change.

00:13:12.639 --> 00:13:21.679
But I feel like men also have to be vulnerable and be submissive in certain areas where, say, we have the expertise in something, be willing to learn from us and be submissive in that.

00:13:22.399 --> 00:13:25.600
And then also, you know, we be submissive in certain ways as well.

00:13:25.679 --> 00:13:28.480
So I think sometimes men don't look at it.

00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:33.039
Look, I think the value that they place in women is a woman that can be submissive and listen and you know.

00:13:33.360 --> 00:13:36.799
But I think in order to submit, I have to build safe.

00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:37.440
Safe, yes.

00:13:37.519 --> 00:13:38.799
Yes, to submit.

00:13:38.879 --> 00:13:40.159
Yeah, and you have to be the leader.

00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:42.399
And I have the trust that you're gonna make the right decision.

00:13:42.720 --> 00:13:44.480
For us, everyone's not gonna walk for us.

00:13:45.200 --> 00:13:47.120
I think it's built in us, just to be honest.

00:13:47.279 --> 00:13:48.320
Every woman is submissive.

00:13:48.480 --> 00:13:49.759
Yeah, we're gonna take care of her.

00:13:49.919 --> 00:13:50.399
When she's safe.

00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:52.000
When she's safe, when she's secure.

00:13:53.679 --> 00:13:56.960
When she's yeah, you have to put me in that space.

00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:02.240
If I gotta deal with your bullshit all the time, no, bruh, I'm not submitting.

00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:03.360
And I'm gonna fight you.

00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:03.759
Right.

00:14:04.240 --> 00:14:08.080
Look, oh no, that that's that's definitely look, he said I'm gonna fight you.

00:14:08.320 --> 00:14:10.720
You know, but you have to put me in that space.

00:14:10.799 --> 00:14:13.120
But that's that's the relationship.

00:14:13.360 --> 00:14:20.000
You know, if our relationship don't put me in a safe space, if I'm always on guard with my man, yeah.

00:14:21.039 --> 00:14:24.399
I can't how do I submit to someone that can't lead me?

00:14:24.720 --> 00:14:25.440
God, you can't.

00:14:25.600 --> 00:14:26.879
Because we what's that definition?

00:14:27.039 --> 00:14:27.519
Leadership.

00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:31.919
It ain't it is it's not the money, it's not the money.

00:14:32.080 --> 00:14:40.320
And you see a lot of women that make more money with their men, but those men know how we treat their woman because it's not about the money.

00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:42.399
It's not about the money.

00:14:42.480 --> 00:14:45.039
You don't put me in my feminine space.

00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:52.960
Because believe me, believe me, if I could stop with love in the name of Jesus, if I could stop.

00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:57.919
I would, but I can't because I have to eat.

00:14:58.080 --> 00:14:58.399
Yeah.

00:14:58.639 --> 00:15:01.600
Because you're not providing for me.

00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:06.639
Now, one thing I'm not gonna do, I is I've never been about a man's money.

00:15:07.519 --> 00:15:08.960
I'm a little things.

00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:11.039
I pay attention to the details.

00:15:12.559 --> 00:15:12.960
They do.

00:15:13.120 --> 00:15:14.799
I love filet mignon, y'all.

00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:15.840
Y'all know I'm a snake eater.

00:15:16.240 --> 00:15:16.799
You got me on that.

00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:17.440
Thank you.

00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:19.759
But I don't eat it every day.

00:15:20.240 --> 00:15:21.440
I'm like a hot dog.

00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:21.919
Right.

00:15:22.159 --> 00:15:28.000
And especially if you burn that sucker all the way around on the grill, cook me a hot dog.

00:15:28.159 --> 00:15:33.039
I don't expect you to be a chef, but it's the effort, it's the little things.

00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:43.919
I there was one guy that I used to date, and he never, it was never money when he stopped at the gas station and got me a pack of Skittles, the purple pack.

00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:45.600
Because they were my favorite.

00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:50.159
Because what he said was he thought about me.

00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:54.240
That's what that is what's always been important to me.

00:15:54.399 --> 00:16:02.559
When you make decisions about what we're getting ready to do, I know you thought of me when you made that decision.

00:16:02.960 --> 00:16:03.759
Because you made that.

00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:11.120
You know, like one of the biggest things was like I don't eat seafood.

00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:17.360
So I don't care that you eat seafood, but when you order something, consider what I'm going to eat too.

00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:18.720
Let's go to the seafood restaurant.

00:16:18.879 --> 00:16:21.600
Legrand got a bomb ass fillet meal here for you.

00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:22.720
Thank you, boo.

00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:31.120
And you can eat all the crab legs and shrimps and scrimps and script that you want, but you consider me when you made decisions.

00:16:31.360 --> 00:16:32.960
That's high value for people.

00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:33.200
Yeah.

00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:34.559
That's high value for me.

00:16:35.600 --> 00:16:37.200
Don't my my life ain't bumpy.

00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:38.159
Don't bring no bums.

00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:40.080
Don't bring no drama.

00:16:40.559 --> 00:16:40.960
Oh my god.

00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:42.159
Don't bring no bums.

00:16:42.480 --> 00:16:54.159
I felt so bad the other day I had to pick the dogs up from um the groomer, and this gentleman had a really big cane corso when I was going inside to get my dogs.

00:16:54.320 --> 00:16:55.840
So I had to wait for a minute.

00:16:55.919 --> 00:16:59.759
And then, you know, he was, and he had a pickup truck, so he put the dog on the back of the pickup truck.

00:16:59.840 --> 00:17:03.759
And I was waiting for him to, you know, make sure he was latched in there before I walked by.

00:17:03.919 --> 00:17:07.759
So I went in to go get the dogs, and I'm got the dogs, and it's been a few minutes.

00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:10.160
I'm like, this man is still outside.

00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:11.200
He's still outside.

00:17:11.359 --> 00:17:12.079
And I was like, okay.

00:17:12.160 --> 00:17:15.200
And I because I didn't want to bring my dogs out with his dog on the back of the truck.

00:17:15.440 --> 00:17:17.920
He's like, okay, I'm gonna just have because he's taking too long.

00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:20.640
So I took him out, the dogs are barking at each other, all that shit.

00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:27.680
So I'm trying to get the dogs in the car, and he's like, I've been waiting on you to come out, and I was like, Okay, he was waiting on you to leave.

00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:32.559
He was like, I'm sorry, I'm so I'm sorry, I was waiting on you to leave because of the dogs and stuff.

00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:33.920
And he's like, You got a man?

00:17:34.079 --> 00:17:42.319
And when I tell you, the first thing out of my mouth was like, and I thought about it after the fact, and I was like, ooh, you're cursing at me right now.

00:17:42.720 --> 00:17:46.000
Because all I thought about, all I thought about was my piece.

00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:46.319
Jeez.

00:17:46.799 --> 00:17:47.279
He was a little bit.

00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:50.079
You could tell he was clearly younger than me, too.

00:17:50.240 --> 00:17:53.200
And all I thought about was, ooh, it's some bullshit that comes along with you.

00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:53.920
He's cute.

00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:54.480
Yeah.

00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:07.200
And it might not have been, that might not have been my best response, but that was my response because the first thing I thought of was, ooh, nigga, if you know what peaceful space I'm in right now, and I know it's some bullshit that comes along with you.

00:18:09.039 --> 00:18:10.000
It really was.

00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:11.599
It was my first response.

00:18:11.680 --> 00:18:14.000
And I was like, ooh, you are cursing at me right now.

00:18:14.079 --> 00:18:14.559
That is all.

00:18:14.640 --> 00:18:16.640
And he's like, about having a man.

00:18:16.720 --> 00:18:18.799
I was like, yeah, but thank you so much.

00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:23.440
And and I put my dogs in the car, drove my ass off, and didn't think twice about it.

00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:25.839
But I thought about it later when I got home.

00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.039
He could have been the one.

00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:28.000
Was he 6'5?

00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:29.839
I have no idea.

00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:30.880
Because I never looked.

00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:34.480
Because when getting in, I mean, when I was getting out of the car, all I saw was your dog.

00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:37.359
Yo, Kane Corso, and I'm trying to avoid your dog.

00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:38.880
And then so getting in the car.

00:18:38.960 --> 00:18:42.240
So, but when he looked, I mean, he was attractive, I clearly all of that stuff.

00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:44.640
But I all I thought about was, no, oh, oh, mm-mm.

00:18:45.119 --> 00:18:47.039
So what if people look at us like that?

00:18:47.200 --> 00:18:48.559
Because I just did that to somebody.

00:18:49.039 --> 00:18:49.599
I'm sure they do.

00:18:49.680 --> 00:18:54.559
And that, and see, and so we know we're not what they think we are.

00:18:56.559 --> 00:18:58.880
So you looked at him, like, damn, he's nice looking.

00:18:58.960 --> 00:19:01.200
He's gonna is it gonna be some mess.

00:19:01.680 --> 00:19:06.000
And he might, some men might look at you and be like, oh, she's beautiful, got it going on, he's about to do that.

00:19:06.400 --> 00:19:07.039
And now we don't do it.

00:19:07.920 --> 00:19:08.400
I'm sure they do.

00:19:08.880 --> 00:19:11.920
Like, dang, but what if he wouldn't have been?

00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:15.279
But that's why I said I thought about that.

00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:17.279
No, I'm still scared.

00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:18.000
But that's what I'm saying.

00:19:18.319 --> 00:19:19.920
I thought about it after the fact.

00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:21.519
But I did think about that.

00:19:21.759 --> 00:19:22.640
After the fact.

00:19:22.720 --> 00:19:25.680
But my initial response was bruh.

00:19:28.160 --> 00:19:30.240
My space is so peaceful right now.

00:19:30.400 --> 00:19:31.279
I don't mm mm mm.

00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:33.119
I don't even want to ripple in the wave.

00:19:33.200 --> 00:19:37.839
Don't, I don't want to all of that.

00:19:38.079 --> 00:19:39.839
But it might have been my body.

00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:40.880
Yeah.

00:19:42.319 --> 00:19:42.880
You never know.

00:19:43.119 --> 00:19:43.599
It could have been.

00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:44.079
We might have.

00:19:44.319 --> 00:19:46.880
And we will never unless you're watching.

00:19:47.680 --> 00:19:47.839
Mr.

00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:48.880
King Corsic.

00:19:55.039 --> 00:19:55.680
We will never know.

00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:56.960
Hit this lady with never.

00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:00.319
But I did, but I did think about it after the fact.

00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:06.880
But my first, but I had to, again, go home and process that for myself because all I thought about was my piece.

00:20:07.440 --> 00:20:08.480
Like, I don't want no man.

00:20:09.119 --> 00:20:10.000
I don't want no man.

00:20:10.319 --> 00:20:11.039
But you gotta be open.

00:20:11.759 --> 00:20:12.000
And you do.

00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:14.720
Because you don't know what the universe is bringing you.

00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:15.680
Absolutely.

00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:16.400
I agree.

00:20:16.559 --> 00:20:16.960
I agree.

00:20:17.119 --> 00:20:19.839
But I also, but that that was me having a conversation with myself.

00:20:20.000 --> 00:20:21.839
Legra, you done put up a wall.

00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:23.839
You don't wall.

00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:24.880
You don't put up a wall.

00:20:25.119 --> 00:20:26.160
Because don't disrespect.

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:27.519
I get hit on all the time.

00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:32.160
And when I tell you I could care less, but why is that, Legra?

00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:33.119
Because I don't know.

00:20:33.200 --> 00:20:34.960
I think it's just the constant.

00:20:36.079 --> 00:20:38.799
Like you just said, I'm you but put it, you're put in this bucket.

00:20:38.880 --> 00:20:39.680
You're put in this bucket.

00:20:39.759 --> 00:20:40.480
You're put in this bucket.

00:20:40.559 --> 00:20:43.119
And sometimes at some point you just say, I'm not getting a bucket at all.

00:20:43.279 --> 00:20:47.680
But how are you going to meet somebody if you get hit all the time and you're like, I do.

00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:53.440
But you've been on a you've been on a work grind as well.

00:20:54.240 --> 00:20:55.680
And it's very hard.

00:20:56.079 --> 00:20:56.960
It really is.

00:20:57.599 --> 00:21:03.599
It is so hard to deal with somebody when you're on a work grind because they don't understand it.

00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:05.519
And you always in your computer.

00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:06.480
Oh my God.

00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:10.400
You just, do you ever take a break and oh there you go again?

00:21:10.480 --> 00:21:16.160
And you, I mean, you kind of take a lot of slack for trying to get to a space that you want to be in.

00:21:16.240 --> 00:21:17.599
It's really hard to me.

00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:26.319
No, it's um it's hard for somebody to really understand where you are and where you're trying to get to, to buy into that.

00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:26.720
You know.

00:21:26.960 --> 00:21:28.640
But sometimes they might be on their grind too, though.

00:21:28.720 --> 00:21:30.640
And we bring together, we meet up when we get together.

00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:33.200
But because we're women, it's different.

00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:33.839
It's different.

00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:34.960
But you gotta be open.

00:21:35.039 --> 00:21:38.160
You got like, if God send you all these people now, are you like one of us?

00:21:39.119 --> 00:21:41.440
I'm open, but I think in this moment I'm not.

00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:43.519
And I had to, I had to have that conversation.

00:21:43.920 --> 00:21:48.559
Because exactly what you just said, I'm in my grind right now.

00:21:48.880 --> 00:22:00.079
And honestly, and I think last week, I had a lot of stressful shit going on last week with work and and and in a good way, but I was I was already overwhelmed.

00:22:00.960 --> 00:22:04.799
And I had to tell myself, I had to admit to myself, Legra, you are overwhelmed.

00:22:05.039 --> 00:22:06.960
You have so much on your plate right now.

00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:09.759
So when he even just saying hello, I was like, oh uh-uh.

00:22:10.000 --> 00:22:10.319
I got you.

00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:11.039
That is not something.

00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:12.640
It was in a different space than that.

00:22:12.799 --> 00:22:14.480
Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't in that space.

00:22:14.640 --> 00:22:17.519
So I had to, but I didn't process that till later.

00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:20.480
In that moment, I was like, uh, mm-mm, no, don't even talk to me.

00:22:20.799 --> 00:22:26.079
Let me get my damn dogs and go home and go back in my queendom and get back on my grind.

00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:26.960
You know what I'm saying?

00:22:27.119 --> 00:22:30.400
So I think it was just this head space that I was in at that moment.

00:22:30.480 --> 00:22:33.200
But I had to, I had to process that.

00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.519
I had to have that conversation with myself.

00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:37.440
Like, why did you respond like that?

00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:39.680
Because you recognize it though.

00:22:39.759 --> 00:22:40.799
You talk about it.

00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:47.200
But I realize now that I couldn't be in a relationship right now with all the stuff I got going on.

00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:52.480
Like I sit and tell myself, because I feel overwhelmed with a lot of stuff that I got going on.

00:22:52.640 --> 00:23:04.000
I'm like, I couldn't be in a relationship because I wouldn't even want to talk to him half the time unless he was like, babe, I I just feel like I wouldn't have time and they would feel neglected and stuff like that, to where I was like, it's not me.

00:23:04.400 --> 00:23:06.160
Because you wouldn't have you wouldn't have time to be consistent.

00:23:06.480 --> 00:23:06.720
I wouldn't.

00:23:07.200 --> 00:23:10.559
And they would and they would feel some kind of way, and I promise it ain't you.

00:23:10.640 --> 00:23:11.200
I just need to get this.

00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:12.240
At least you recognize it.

00:23:12.400 --> 00:23:14.720
Some people, I just need a man, so I don't care what's going on in my life.

00:23:15.039 --> 00:23:17.839
I think I'll be in a relationship when they don't need to be in a relationship.

00:23:18.240 --> 00:23:21.680
Long distance works for me because it allows me that time.

00:23:22.319 --> 00:23:22.880
You know what I mean?

00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:23.839
It's like the open ticket.

00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:25.839
I'm coming, right?

00:23:25.920 --> 00:23:30.000
And then when I have something going on, um there's benefits to it.

00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:33.519
Yeah, you know, you can say, hey, I got this going on.

00:23:34.160 --> 00:23:39.759
But see, the great part about that is though, and I'm gonna go back to you being a high value high value, and we're gonna talk about income.

00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:51.519
Okay, of high value, is younger Legra didn't like long distance because one, you could hardly see each other, because two, you couldn't afford to be flying back and forth all the damn time.

00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:52.400
Let's start with that.

00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:55.279
Yeah, I couldn't afford to be like high value allows you to see that.

00:23:55.599 --> 00:23:58.480
I couldn't afford, we couldn't afford to see each other all the time.

00:23:58.640 --> 00:24:07.680
So those those relationships, yeah, when you were in something long distance, younger Legra, you couldn't, both of y'all couldn't afford that back and forthness all the time.

00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:16.240
But now that you're in this space, like you said, that the distance allows y'all to still have your individuality and y'all travel together a lot.

00:24:16.799 --> 00:24:18.079
You you go up there a lot.

00:24:18.559 --> 00:24:19.680
Hell, she just left here.

00:24:19.759 --> 00:24:20.480
You know what I'm saying?

00:24:20.640 --> 00:24:25.680
So the back and forthness, you can afford to do that now, this high-value woman, got your points together.

00:24:25.839 --> 00:24:26.480
Right.

00:24:27.519 --> 00:24:29.839
So it allows you to have that type of relationship.

00:24:29.920 --> 00:24:31.440
But younger Legro couldn't do that.

00:24:31.519 --> 00:24:34.079
No, that relationship wasn't gonna last because y'all was gonna never see each other.

00:24:34.400 --> 00:24:34.640
That's true.

00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:38.160
And back in our day, there wasn't a lot of time.

00:24:38.480 --> 00:24:39.759
And you had to pay for collecting.

00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.839
You had to pay for your distance calls.

00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:42.240
Right.

00:24:42.319 --> 00:24:43.279
And there wasn't no frontier.

00:24:43.440 --> 00:24:44.799
You wasn't going for$29.

00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:46.480
Frontier elite.

00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:47.200
I'm a frontier.

00:24:48.559 --> 00:24:50.079
You wasn't going for$29.

00:24:50.400 --> 00:24:55.839
So that but that allows you now that you can actually do those things where we couldn't do that before.

00:24:56.000 --> 00:24:56.559
Right.

00:24:57.039 --> 00:24:57.920
We couldn't do that before.

00:24:58.799 --> 00:25:07.680
But for me, my uh my high value, um I I it's really weird when people ask because it's hard to talk about yourself.

00:25:07.920 --> 00:25:08.880
And I was so proud of you.

00:25:08.960 --> 00:25:09.359
Let me put that.

00:25:09.519 --> 00:25:11.200
Let's y'all better forgive her her shouts.

00:25:11.440 --> 00:25:16.160
Because the next one episode one, episode one of season one.

00:25:17.359 --> 00:25:18.160
You better cross.

00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:20.720
You better cross your girls a whole lot.

00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:24.880
Let's move that out.

00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:27.200
She would not talk about herself in that way.

00:25:27.359 --> 00:25:33.359
And look, I like to think that the couch had a little bit to do with the button also had a lot to do with that.

00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:34.559
Okay, how about you meet?

00:25:34.960 --> 00:25:35.279
Look, right?

00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:37.920
So let's let's rewind that just for two seconds.

00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:43.759
You were coming out of a relationship where you were, and I hate the word broken.

00:25:44.480 --> 00:25:45.359
Oh no, it's broken.

00:25:45.519 --> 00:25:49.680
Okay, well, but if you want to use that term, okay, where you're you weren't at your best.

00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:50.400
Let's put it that way.

00:25:50.559 --> 00:25:50.720
Okay.

00:25:50.880 --> 00:25:51.839
We won't say you were broken.

00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:53.519
You just weren't at your spirit.

00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:58.799
You were spirit, your spirit wasn't at its best, your confidence wasn't at its best.

00:25:58.960 --> 00:26:06.000
But look how that many the right people in your life knows how to bring that out of you.

00:26:06.240 --> 00:26:06.480
Yeah.

00:26:06.720 --> 00:26:07.920
Knows how to bring that out of you.

00:26:08.480 --> 00:26:09.680
Because you were high value.

00:26:09.759 --> 00:26:10.799
Let's keep it 100.

00:26:11.119 --> 00:26:12.880
You were high value in that other relationship.

00:26:13.440 --> 00:26:20.559
And you made more money in that other relationship, and you carried and paid the bills, and you did it in that other relationship, yet you were broken.

00:26:20.799 --> 00:26:21.200
Yes.

00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:23.680
Point to everybody, don't do that.

00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:29.599
Well, it's not anybody, but you but but that attests to the the man.

00:26:30.000 --> 00:26:30.240
Yeah.

00:26:30.400 --> 00:26:31.839
And then it helped you grow too.

00:26:32.000 --> 00:26:32.240
Yeah.

00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:34.480
Because then you know what you're doing, put up with it.

00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:36.240
I swear, I prayed the day before a minute.

00:26:36.319 --> 00:26:37.440
I prayed for God's best.

00:26:37.519 --> 00:26:41.200
I said, Lord, just send me your best and give me the discernment to know when it arrives.

00:26:41.359 --> 00:26:41.680
Right.

00:26:41.920 --> 00:26:43.200
So come through.

00:26:43.279 --> 00:26:43.519
Yes.

00:26:43.759 --> 00:26:45.839
And he came to I ask God to make me.

00:26:46.240 --> 00:26:47.599
Look at the attitude of that.

00:26:48.079 --> 00:26:48.720
Yes, yes, yes.

00:26:49.440 --> 00:26:51.599
See, that's what that man's supposed to do.

00:26:51.759 --> 00:26:54.559
And it don't matter that you were a high-value woman before then.

00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:55.839
That man brings that out of you.

00:26:55.920 --> 00:26:59.039
He brings that energy, that softness, that all those things.

00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:00.799
Because it's in, it's in, we're women.

00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:01.920
It's in us.

00:27:02.400 --> 00:27:03.519
It's in us.

00:27:03.759 --> 00:27:04.640
So I love it.

00:27:04.799 --> 00:27:08.000
So I had to point that out because you couldn't have said all those things better.

00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.400
And if you did, we wouldn't have heard you.

00:27:12.160 --> 00:27:14.160
Because that voice would have been something like this.

00:27:15.920 --> 00:27:16.960
We wouldn't have heard you.

00:27:17.279 --> 00:27:23.039
As a matter of fact, what a couple months will do for you.

00:27:23.920 --> 00:27:25.920
What a couple months will do for you.

00:27:26.079 --> 00:27:26.880
But I love it.

00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:41.759
And I love, but look how also for high value, and I'm using the air quotes, women are sitting on the same couch together, not competing against each other, can be friends, ain't no mess.

00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:46.079
Hello, can we can we get a community or something for that?

00:27:46.480 --> 00:27:46.880
Period.

00:27:47.039 --> 00:27:54.400
The stereotypes that they say that we all are, that we're showing right here, that that's just stereotypes.

00:27:54.880 --> 00:27:59.599
I wish people in other countries would see this because they we go there and they think, oh, that's odd and she's this.

00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:02.160
She's housewise, and she's right now.

00:28:02.640 --> 00:28:05.440
And it's no knock against those shows they make for great TV.

00:28:05.599 --> 00:28:05.759
Yeah.

00:28:06.079 --> 00:28:06.400
That's TV.

00:28:06.640 --> 00:28:07.039
That's TV.

00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:08.000
That's not reality.

00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:08.960
That's TV.

00:28:09.279 --> 00:28:10.079
Unbundle us.

00:28:10.720 --> 00:28:11.920
That is TV.

00:28:12.079 --> 00:28:13.119
I love this, y'all.

00:28:13.519 --> 00:28:14.319
Yay, yay.

00:28:15.119 --> 00:28:16.400
For two seconds I felt feminine.

00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:18.319
I was gonna cry, but I was like, yeah, no.

00:28:19.359 --> 00:28:20.720
She's a flower, y'all.

00:28:20.799 --> 00:28:21.680
She's a flower.

00:28:22.240 --> 00:28:23.119
But another bloom.

00:28:24.640 --> 00:28:24.960
Yeah, no.

00:28:25.759 --> 00:28:26.240
You want me to cry?

00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:26.799
No, I'm just kidding.

00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:27.359
No, no, no.

00:28:27.680 --> 00:28:28.799
Because we know it.

00:28:28.960 --> 00:28:29.599
Who can cry at the time?

00:28:31.119 --> 00:28:31.279
Okay.

00:28:31.440 --> 00:28:34.240
Who can cry at the drop of the diamonds at damn charisse?

00:28:34.799 --> 00:28:35.759
I sure can.

00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:36.319
Okay.

00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:41.519
But what you were sharing something at the table yesterday because you worked here yesterday.

00:28:41.680 --> 00:28:42.799
You worked over here with me yesterday.

00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:46.799
And I you was like, whoo! And I was like, oh my God, you haven't had that in a minute.

00:28:47.119 --> 00:28:49.279
Okay, well, we just talked about it.

00:28:49.359 --> 00:28:57.599
It was your post where you put the post up about your your you just took 500 people to Jamaica and you were just talking about your post.

00:28:57.839 --> 00:28:58.160
Yes.

00:28:58.319 --> 00:28:59.119
So yeah.

00:28:59.279 --> 00:29:00.240
We didn't even talk.

00:29:00.319 --> 00:29:00.799
You know what?

00:29:00.960 --> 00:29:03.279
We did so much this summer that we didn't talk about.

00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:13.200
So we didn't talk about your trip to Jamaica and my trip to, but yeah, just getting back from um Jamaica, taking 500 people, and I sat on the sofa.

00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:14.240
I had a lot of moments.

00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:24.480
I had a moment because one of the families who cooked, I heard from and they called me on FaceTime, and I just felt I was out there bawling like a fool.

00:29:24.720 --> 00:29:31.200
And then, yeah, and then I had another moment when I literally was thinking about you, Legra, and I posted it.

00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:39.599
And the the thought process was when I met first met Legra, um, I was like, damn, she's rough.

00:29:40.400 --> 00:29:46.559
I like her sister because her sister's just fun and talk a lot, and you know, she just she just rough.

00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:48.160
I don't want her doing my taxes no more.

00:29:48.240 --> 00:29:49.119
That's what I thought.

00:29:49.279 --> 00:30:21.680
But then as I got to know Legra, I'm like, okay, she's really soft and she's really nice, and she's really kind and she's really helpful, and the thing that I Said about Legra was that she's got this big and all y'all travel agents is in that or was under her, whatever, because I'm about to put y'all out there, but she's got this big network, and I'm saying this to you, and I said it in the post, but I learned a lot from you, and you didn't have to teach me anything.

00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:25.039
You could have kept it all in, which is what a lot of people do, right?

00:30:25.119 --> 00:30:36.319
I ain't teaching her because she might be better than me, but leaders like Obama and some of the people who are real leaders, they put the best people around them because they know they'll take care of them, right?

00:30:36.720 --> 00:30:43.039
And so when you started building your team and bringing people onto your team, some paid attention, some didn't.

00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:50.960
And I was just thanking you publicly for the tears.

00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:52.160
Here go the tears, y'all.

00:30:52.720 --> 00:30:53.839
I'm gonna squeeze my butt.

00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:59.599
But I was thanking, squeeze.

00:30:59.839 --> 00:31:00.160
It's okay.

00:31:00.480 --> 00:31:01.599
Squeeze, squeeze.

00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:03.200
Here come the tears, y'all.

00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:03.759
That's it.

00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:04.799
Yeah.

00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:12.079
But I was thinking, I was thanking Legra because Legra's something else, y'all.

00:31:12.160 --> 00:31:14.000
We meet in the middle we meet in the middle.

00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:15.119
I mean, that's a good thing.

00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:16.480
Because we meet in the middle.

00:31:16.720 --> 00:31:22.319
Yeah, I'm just the marshmallow that gets here, and she's the rough and tough with the Afro puffs.

00:31:23.279 --> 00:31:24.400
That just came to my brain.

00:31:27.440 --> 00:31:36.400
We meet honestly nicely in the middle, but I wouldn't have been um without her showing me.

00:31:36.559 --> 00:31:39.519
I probably would have gotten there, but I wouldn't have gotten there as fast.

00:31:40.000 --> 00:31:41.279
I wouldn't have, right?

00:31:41.839 --> 00:31:44.880
Um and so you helped me shortcut.

00:31:45.200 --> 00:31:46.400
I wouldn't even have been in travel.

00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:49.599
You're the one who did my cuts and said, you need to be doing something else.

00:31:49.920 --> 00:32:01.680
So, you know, you give people their flowers, and I wanted to do that in that post and all of the great congratulations, but nobody probably reached out to you to say, Lekra, I I want to come back or whatnot.

00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:23.359
But my point in saying that is that when you have powerful women who are confident in who they are, you don't have to worry about, you don't, you don't, seriously, you don't have to worry about them pulling back or not wanting to help you or not wanting like this this is something different and special.

00:32:23.519 --> 00:32:24.400
You know what I'm saying?

00:32:24.559 --> 00:32:27.920
And some people in a lifetime don't find this.

00:32:28.079 --> 00:32:28.480
That's true.

00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:29.440
You know what I mean?

00:32:29.519 --> 00:32:35.519
And we just found something special because baby, Jamaica, fuck.

00:32:35.839 --> 00:32:37.119
That's what it was.

00:32:37.759 --> 00:32:41.039
That whole song, um, it was amazing.

00:32:41.119 --> 00:32:42.880
So thank you, Legra, publicly.

00:32:43.039 --> 00:32:45.200
But um, we just have something.

00:32:45.359 --> 00:32:52.319
We have something great, and and not only that, where I am now from where I was when I met you, right?

00:32:52.640 --> 00:32:54.640
Even emotionally, where you are.

00:32:55.119 --> 00:32:57.920
Oh, yeah, because I would have been on the floor rolling over and crying.

00:32:58.000 --> 00:32:59.920
Girl, I would have been on the floor rolling right now.

00:33:00.000 --> 00:33:01.440
Just now, I would have been crying and rolling.

00:33:03.119 --> 00:33:07.039
But um, I I'm always gonna have a part of me that with me.

00:33:07.119 --> 00:33:07.839
Y'all know that, right?

00:33:08.160 --> 00:33:10.160
That whole emotional side of me can't help it.

00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:11.920
I'll be like that for the rest of my life.

00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:16.319
But we have something great, you know.

00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:21.359
And you couldn't even have told me years ago that I was um a high value.

00:33:21.519 --> 00:33:23.680
But I do think too, because we're talking about it.

00:33:24.160 --> 00:33:25.519
Even though we had the income.

00:33:25.759 --> 00:33:26.960
Right, absolutely.

00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:39.599
But when we talk about relationships, I think that what's been poured into me for the last couple years, just in my relationship, you know what I mean, help put me in a space that I will never go back.

00:33:39.759 --> 00:33:44.960
There's no way I could ever accept some of the things that I accepted before.

00:33:45.680 --> 00:33:47.119
Um, but you don't know.

00:33:47.359 --> 00:33:53.680
Sometimes you, and I said this before, sometimes you never know what you're missing until they arrive.

00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:54.000
Yeah.

00:33:54.319 --> 00:33:54.720
Exactly.

00:33:55.119 --> 00:33:58.799
And then when it's there, it's like, oh, is this what this was supposed to be?

00:34:00.799 --> 00:34:00.960
Yeah.

00:34:01.519 --> 00:34:03.759
This is what it's supposed to be.

00:34:04.000 --> 00:34:04.799
You know what I mean?

00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:12.559
And so um, yeah, I think that term, I don't think that term let me upgrade you.

00:34:12.719 --> 00:34:14.960
Sometimes people think that's negative, yeah.

00:34:15.519 --> 00:34:16.239
Upgrade me.

00:34:16.320 --> 00:34:20.239
But when you both, like I'll this ain't okay, y'all gonna laugh.

00:34:20.800 --> 00:34:25.280
But going back to Olive Garden and all of those places, you know what I'm saying?

00:34:25.360 --> 00:34:27.199
Like the things that you thought, oh, we're gonna eat really.

00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:29.760
You know what I mean?

00:34:29.840 --> 00:34:43.360
When you start dating somebody who's a chef and you really introduce a state 48, or we go to every country and I want to find the best restaurant, and you're gonna do this, like we upgrade each other back to what you were talking about.

00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:48.079
We can help up, we can help upgrade each other.

00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:53.360
Yeah, it doesn't always have to be this financial thing sitting here.

00:34:53.760 --> 00:35:01.679
If you both walk away, if that happens, but better than better than we were when we met, then it's that's just an amazing thing.

00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:04.320
So well set.

00:35:04.719 --> 00:35:05.039
Yeah.

00:35:06.400 --> 00:35:07.599
We're gonna wrap that up, dude.

00:35:07.840 --> 00:35:08.079
Okay.

00:35:10.159 --> 00:35:10.719
Thank you really.

00:35:15.280 --> 00:35:16.159
It is what it is.

00:35:16.800 --> 00:35:18.800
And just sitting it, not doing it.

00:35:19.119 --> 00:35:32.800
Because remember what we used to say about you uh, and I've done this for a very long time, dimming your light around other people because you didn't want them to look at you a certain way or even be mad because now it's like uh this is just what it is.

00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:34.320
Bougie used to be a bad thing.

00:35:34.400 --> 00:35:36.000
I'm like, what's wrong with being bougie?

00:35:36.239 --> 00:35:41.199
Like, if I like certain things and I want to be like, and whatever that is, your circle is very important.

00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:41.840
It is.

00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:43.440
Your circle is very important.

00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:44.079
Yeah.

00:35:44.400 --> 00:35:48.000
When you got faux bad bitches, L L.

00:35:48.320 --> 00:35:53.440
And I know that that that that term bitch offends some people, but these are faux bad bitches.

00:35:53.599 --> 00:35:58.000
When you got four bad bitches who, again, you're not competing with each other.

00:35:58.079 --> 00:36:00.320
You're not, I'm not looking over my shoulder.

00:36:00.559 --> 00:36:04.559
I'm not trying to check and see where you at, what you're doing, and I gotta try to top that.

00:36:04.719 --> 00:36:09.039
All those, all those stereotypes that I think they put on successful black women.

00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:09.760
And we're humble.

00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:11.360
No, but there's women like that.

00:36:11.679 --> 00:36:12.320
Oh no, there are.

00:36:12.719 --> 00:36:13.840
But we will go.

00:36:14.639 --> 00:36:16.320
But we need you to comparison.

00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:17.360
That's what social media does.

00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:19.039
You compare yourself to other people all the time.

00:36:19.199 --> 00:36:23.519
Well, they have this car, I gotta get this car, they're wearing this, they have that bag, I gotta get this bag.

00:36:23.760 --> 00:36:24.719
I can't do it.

00:36:24.880 --> 00:36:25.920
No, it's not worth my.

00:36:26.559 --> 00:36:29.440
But it's not, but you I don't want competition in my circle.

00:36:29.760 --> 00:36:31.360
Not in your circle, not in my circle.

00:36:31.760 --> 00:36:34.960
Now, if you see something I need, I expect for you to be honest with me.

00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:39.360
I expect, tell me, and if it's something you can help me with, let me help my sister.

00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:40.800
It's not, well, let me help you.

00:36:40.880 --> 00:36:42.320
You can't now you can't go no higher than this.

00:36:42.559 --> 00:36:42.639
Right.

00:36:42.880 --> 00:36:43.599
Because I'm right here.

00:36:43.679 --> 00:36:43.840
Right.

00:36:44.079 --> 00:36:45.360
So you can't go no higher than this.

00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:46.880
Let me help you to a certain point.

00:36:47.119 --> 00:36:48.559
No, let me help you.

00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:50.079
But we do help a community.

00:36:50.159 --> 00:37:01.519
Now, I can say that about no matter what we are, how much we talk, at the end of the day, we are true, which is why personally I love our circle because we're humble.

00:37:01.920 --> 00:37:04.320
We are a very humble circle.

00:37:04.639 --> 00:37:10.000
And we, girl, we gotta talk about, we help each other, we help other people to a fault.

00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:11.920
Like we just gotta talk about that one day.

00:37:12.079 --> 00:37:13.280
But we really do.

00:37:13.519 --> 00:37:15.360
At the detriment of yourself sometimes.

00:37:16.079 --> 00:37:16.480
Yes.

00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:17.840
Especially financially.

00:37:18.559 --> 00:37:20.239
That part, that whole entire part.

00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:21.679
And as single women.

00:37:22.559 --> 00:37:22.960
Yeah, yeah.

00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:25.599
Well, just like look, I'm throwing it all out there.

00:37:25.920 --> 00:37:26.159
Jeez.

00:37:26.480 --> 00:37:32.159
Look, all of our faces are like No, it's the truth because some I I I yeah, I just don't know what some people see.

00:37:32.480 --> 00:37:35.679
You gotta have the audacity to ask for things that you really shouldn't ask for.

00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:36.639
Get it cheese.

00:37:36.960 --> 00:37:39.360
Audacity is at an all-time high, but we got talking about it.

00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:40.719
But that's a whole nother episode.

00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:42.880
We're gonna wrap this up because we could be here all day.

00:37:43.039 --> 00:37:46.320
Because especially if we get into yeah, yeah, y'all already know.

00:37:46.480 --> 00:37:50.000
This is like girls, this is Stephanie, this is Sharice, and this is Ivania.

00:37:50.159 --> 00:37:55.039
And this is Timeless Unfiltered, where we are spilling the tea on MidLife one laugh at a time.

00:37:55.360 --> 00:37:56.880
We will see y'all next week.

00:37:56.960 --> 00:37:58.079
Are we gonna be here all day?

00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:03.920
I love it.